Tired!

We've joined a gym.

Walked there on Friday, went for our first session yesterday (yes, a Sunday). Today was our second session.

G's not doing weight-training this time as it's just a 3 week contract, so we've been doing 'aerobic' stuff, like:

Cycling,

rowing

and running/jogging/walking/hobbling:

We've taken it easy, seeing that it's my first ever stint at a gym, but it's been fun. After our session today we had a swim, which was refreshing and relaxing.

We have 4 weeks now until we LAND in Brisbane. Things are settling in a little here at G's parents' place, but it still feels weird and as if I'm in the wrong time-zone. It's quite an adjustment getting used to a whole different 'schedule' and modus operandi for just about everything.

My brain has fizzled out now.

I'm interested in getting a new phone, once we're in Aus (I am DEFINITELY getting a new laptop!!)... thinking about a Blackberry... but not sure. Will research lots (as per my usual level).

Shyablog: Secret Blogs...?

Shyablog: Secret Blogs...?

It's all done

Everything's all systems go, now!

Tuesday the movers came at +-9:30 in the morning, and started just about straight away to pack up our stuff. They worked solidly until 4pm, with just 1 smoke-break and 1 lunch-break. I'd say more than half our stuff was packed up on day 1. We're both very impressed with how well everything has been packed, how thoroughly they packed everything.

Wednesday they arrived at 9am and worked solidly til just past 4pm (with smoke+lunch break). Packing everything else up, like the fridge and washmachine, and all the furniture. They left past 4 because they couldn't get the bed down the stairs and out the door: they'd packaged the mattress and base together into one package. They had to slit the package open, pull the mattress out, bring the base+box down the stairs and repackage it and tape it all back together again afterwards.

On the whole, we have a good feeling about the whole thing. Everything went smoothly, our only 'concern' is that everything was packed so all-together and mixed that we wonder how customs/AQIS would ever find things easily. We didn't get to varnish the ornament odds and ends, so hopefully they won't have a problem with them. We do need to fill in the customs declaration form though, which we hand to the Aus office of our moving company.

Other than the move, today we went back to the house to take the furniture odds + ends and also to clean up and hand back keys. It was so strange, looking at the place all empty, and virtually spotless! It almost felt like we were about to move in!

In other news, Dude has pretty much settled in at his new home quite well. He's fascinated by the finches and loves yakking away to the room in general: his cage is alongside the finches' cage and is across the room from the Amazon parrot's cage. He just ignores the parrot for the most part, but loves watching the finches.

I felt very sorry for him over Xmas time though, as everything was so new and startling, AND the whole room was full with family, and the dogs were rushing around outside the windows and doors behind his cage. EVERYTHING was too stressful!

I'm going to miss him so much. It was very emotional on Xmas eve day and Xmas day. I felt sad and teary at the most random times. Boxing day and the days after have so far been fine. We've been very busy though.

On a whole other front, things aren't going so well between Mom and Sis these days. Again. What's new. This time, Sis is housesitting. She left just after Boxing Day lunch and popped home yesterday evening to get a change of clothes (she's housesitting til Saturday). She smsed to say that the dishes etc from Sunday lunch were still in exactly the same place (on the tables in the lounge), unmoved/uncleared/uncleaned. I gather that Mom's been sitting watching cricket the entire time, doing nothing else. We left before dessert was dished, otherwise I'd have helped clean up, but that's just crazy. Sis was extremely unimpressed, because it ultimately means that SHE has to clean the whole lot up by herself (no help from Mom). While I'm fully aware that Sis isn't one to selflessly volunteer to do things which would inconvenience her/cause her discomfort, she still does what's necessary... and to have to do that after cleaning up after herself while house-sitting... that's a bit crazy. Specially considering it's the height of summer...

I don't know what to think. Nor what to do. It wasn't like this when I moved out... and yet I still feel bad about it. I can't help but project into the future and envision Mom, in an eBay house. Sis phoned for a chat before supper and we just commiserated... but there's not much we can do. She desperately wants to move out, I desperately wish Mom would 'come right'. But I seriously doubt that would ever happen. So I guess the only thing is to 'wait it out' until she's old and senile and able to be put into an old age home and we get to attack the mammoth task of clearing out the house. Apparently in October, when Sis was house-sitting the whole month, she came back to find that the poop-scoop hadn't been done the entire month. Delightful.

It's now 9:30pm, and time to head to our room. We used to go to sleep past 11, but these days, since the family goes to bed about 9, we end up heading out at around that time too.

I will blog more when I think of it - my brain is tired and it's time to zzzzz.

Ciao

Pop in and update

First off, let me say I have a suspicion our to-be ex-ISP is being generous: this is our notice month, and we have officially been capped. Officially as in, I got the 'you have used 100% of your cap' email, the online-account details page says 'capped'.... and yet, we are still able to surf. Internationally.

Every moment, we are glad for the previous moment's internet connection LOL. Well, I've been a customer since probably 2002 or 3, so maybe it's a generosity to a long-standing customer? Not sure. Maybe it's because I wrote 'thanks for years of great service' on the disconnection-instruction page... who knows.

We have 37 days til we fly. I just realised a day or two ago that I don't really have to keep posting the 'days til' because there's a widget in the side-bar, except, once the countdown is complete there'll be no reference anymore and looking back on these posts will be contextless.

We've been madly rushing and packing and preparing. We got rid of the couches, donated a whole load of things, dropped off e-waste at the drop-off place, and Dude (and our potplants) have been dropped off at G's parents' place. It was a pretty emotional drive. Last night was pretty emotional too: I clipped his nails for the last time. Gave him neck-scratches for the last time. Played with him on the bed for the last time. My adorable, lovable Little Dude. I know that we'll still have a month with him before we go, but it's still painfully undeniable that after that, we probably will never see him in person again. It's so unbearable. It's no consolation when people say things like 'oh, you can always get another bird', or 'forget a budgie, you can get a parrot!!' or something, because that's not the point. The point is, he's our Little Dude. He's our tiny member of the family. We love him. I think he also, in his birdie way, loves us. We're his flock, and although G's parents will by extension love him too, it's just not the same - they don't whistle like we do, and make weird sounds (pretend bird-talk) that he appreciates and 'understands'. I'm going to miss him far too much.

We just have a few more things to do, and then we're ready to 'move' out. The new tenants have been found, and oddly enough, live in the same complex! We need to pack our luggage still, which I think we should get started on.

Cheers for now - if I don't blog between now and then (or if we get capped), have a WONDERFUL, safe, happy and peaceful Xmas, a fantastic new year and a GREAT 2011.

Watch this space!!

Today

has been a flurry. I am tired and pretty much everything is funny right now, and yet I've had nothing to drink that was alcoholic.

Everything's ready now for the fishtank to be moved tomorrow morning. This morning we raced through to the big hardware/outdoors/gardening/etc warehouse shop, to buy a potjie pot and grille to use it with the Weber.

A potjie pot, like this:

N&N gave us a potjiekos recipe book, and now we're all set ready to make potjiekos and also to make our Aussie neighbours jealous! Potjiekos smells DIVINE!

Less exciting has been the weather: EXTREMELY hot. Driving back from the shop earlier it was 36C. It's now 28C inside the house, with the windows open. It's not windy, and the air hasn't really cooled outside very much.

40 days til we fly. Today apart from the shopping, we sorted a bit more of the 'junk', odds and ends. Basically listed stuff to sell (G emailed it to his colleagues), and I researched places to take the real junk, like electronics that are just obsolete/broken etc, plus ornaments/bric a brac that we don't want to keep. It's quite a 'difficult' or tiring thing, emotionally, but I'm sure once the whole load is off our hands, our whole journey will seem much lighter.

Tomorrow, after setting up the fishtank, we're going to drop off the stuff I mentioned above. We'll have to organise another day to take the furniture odds and ends away. Other than that, it's cleaning odds and ends, completing our inventory AND then listing values for insurance.

EEEk. I'm looking forward to once our stuff's all sent off... although then I'll probably be worried about it all sitting cooking in a container, what with it being midsummer and the container spending weeks on a ship!

Right now G's backing up all our music, so in the next 2+ months we won't be starved of music: we can hook the external drive up to my laptop and enjoy some TUNEZ cos my laptop's got pretty funky Harman/Kardon speakers (yay!)

Ok, that's all for now, folks! I'm sure I'll blog tomorrow :P

What a topsy-turvy day *_*

Now, it's 'all systems go' for the fishtank. Mom & Sis had a fall-out yesterday/last night, Mom said she went to bed with tears, but this morning things simmered down and it's all ok again. Sis sms'd during the day saying that Mom was busy taking the bookshelf down and that she'd get the rest of the diningroom sorted out tomorrow...

So at least G and I don't have to go through to their place to make things happen. I just hope the status quo holds.

In other news, I uninstalled iTunes. Winamp handles iPod music functions fine, so VOILA! No more FRIGGIN' Bonjour being installed every week/whatever and other Apple blah processes running the entire time!

G tackled most of the study (junk room) today, pulled out everything that was stored in the cupboards. So much stuff to get rid of (donate/dump/recycle/give away).

I had a few more things to mention in this blogpost, but I'm so tired I can't even remember them.

12 days until we have officially 'moved out' of this place. 41 days til we fly :P

Ok that's all for now... *snore* I think it's bedtime.

42 days to go...

I will try not to make the next batch of blogpost titles the countdown to our flight, but for now it's like... 'woah'. 42 days left.

** Not related to anything in this blogpost, but an update: WE FOUND AN ADVENT CALENDAR! Our tradition is being upheld! Mmmm, chocolate!! **

G and I have been majorly busy. It's not that we've procrastinated and have to rush, it's just that everything needs to be done only just before the packers begin. They are here in about 10 days' time. We move out before the end of this coming week!!

Friday evening we spent a rather weird time cleaning the lawnmower. Yes, cleaning, as in: dismantling the entire thing (poor thing!) and wiping down and washing the metal and plastic parts respectively. It was pretty exhausting work washing each individual part, which I did in the bath. What made it worse was that I wasn't really able to sit comfortably and do it: I was NOT going to put my feet into the bath and get covered in grass-greened dirty soapy water, so I had to sit in a rather twisted up position. But, it's done, and now I SERIOUSLY DOUBT that AQIS will have anything to say about it!

Thankfully it required both of us to reassemble the thing, because while we were putting the motor back I noticed a 'coffeebean' in it. On closer inspection, my auto-horrified reaction was justified: it was an ootheca... a cockroach egg-case. THANK GOD it was long dead (not hatched praise the LORD!), it must have been roasted to hell and gone repeatedly LOL. I felt so vindicatedly joyful!

Apart from the lawnmower, we also cleaned the Weber. Not such a big task since I already cleaned it quite well a couple of days after we'd used it. We still need to clean the bicycles, our shoes, the remaining food containers which have yet to be emptied, plus once we've moved out/finished our food here, we need to clean the fridge. And also need to unplug the washmachine and let it dry out completely and secure the drum, etc etc etc.

So much to do. I mentioned in the previous post that we were going to help move the furniture around at Mom's place. Well, that didn't work. Aunt + co went to visit (to borrow money, woot - long story: this 'borrowing' has been a habit of theirs since at LEAST 2002 or so), so I decided we weren't going to go 'hang out' with them while they spend Mom's money, and we were instead going to rearrange the furniture this weekend. I sms'd Mom this morning to find out what the plans were, whether Sis was home from work etc so that we could drive through and make moves. She suggested that she and Sis do it, saving us a long drive through (30km one way). So I sms'd my sis, who replied extremely doubtfully but that she would try make this work.

Basically, it hasn't happened. Age-old problem with Mom over-reacting whenever there's change, procrastination/complication and so on and so forth, which ends up with Mom over-reacting generally to everything, which ends up with her objecting to Sis's attitude and the last change that has occurred, and then Sis ends up having a complete huffy-fit because she is the only one who actually makes a change there and it's all for naught. Yay.

Now I don't know what to do with the flipping fishtank. Yes, 'flipping'. I love these fish, they are so special to me, but I don't even want to get involved with Mom's problems. I don't want to have this negative thing hanging around the memory of the fish for all eternity.

I wonder if there's a way of having the fish put to sleep, humanely, like take them to the vet etc. Then I could just give the tank away. I know that people who you give the fish 'to good home' to - it's just too much of a responsibility. When you get a tank like this, you want it so you can put your OWN choice of fish into it. Or whoever would get them might put totally unsuitable tankmates into it... etc etc etc.

I don't wish that I never got them... they have been so special to me and I've enjoyed them so much. They're more than 'just fish' to me. But now I don't know what to do.

I'm very tired. Anyone saying emigration is an easy way out needs to catch a wake up. There's a saying (at least, with SA migrants), "emigration is not for sissies" and boy is it so true. Each stage is more taxing than the one before it. It's like a computer game - level 1 is hard for the first time, then once you've progressed to level 10, level 1 seems obscenely easy in comparison to level 10. I think we're on a pretty high level now LOL. Next level is doing all the admin once our stuff has shipped off. The NEXT level is once we've arrived - starting things up again and waiting til our stuff arrives. I think the last level (at least in this emigration game!) is once our stuff arrives, settling everything back into place and then rerooting ourselves.

I think for now, the right-now stage is heading to bed - it's SLEEP TIME!! :D

48 days

We have 48 days til we fly.  It's a bit crazy now!  We have 2 weeks left staying here... and then we move out to G's parents, to Xmas, and to the new year.  I don't know if we'll have time to do everything we intended to do, before the moving company packs everything up, but we're just going to try and see how we fare.

All our Xmas shopping is done (apart from gifts for each other - we're going shopping tomorrow), and everything's been wrapped.  G got a big suitcase, so we're ready for when we need to pre-pack and 'move out' before the movers arrive ^.^

Tuesday G's going to the office, and I'll be cleaning the fishtank, then sometime this week we need to mow the lawn (again LOL!), I need to clean the lawnmower (yay, it's plastic so I can wash it with dishwashing liquid), and we need to oil/varnish/lacquer a few wood ornaments - and basically make sure that all our things are alright generally for customs/quarantine's inspection and scrutiny.

G has to do his stuff (sorting/culling/etc etc etc), his bicycle needs a new tube + the tyre put back on, and then we need to actually get rid of the stuff that we decide not to keep...

Wednesday G and I are going through to Mom's place, to help Sis move the furniture in the diningroom around so as to make space for the fishtank - next Monday M is lending us herself and her bakkie (ute?) to move the fishtank and table to Mom's place.

We also need to get certified copies made of NB documents, need to back up all of our computers...

And once all our stuff has been packed up, then the admin side is our focus, as well as the 'relax and enjoy the time left in this country'.

48 days... that's crazy.  This 'transitional' phase is tiring now... I'm longing for some quiet time without 'zomg we need to get going on what we need to do!!!!!!!' etc... I'm longing to be settled in our new home, settled and able to go out and see our new town, see our new part of the world and... not quite put down roots, but at least put our feet down in one place and know that if we need to relocate, it will at least be a matter of putting our stuff into a truck and having it driven to our new place, it won't be 'gone, out of reach' for weeks/months like this time.

Totally unrelated, but I've been in love with this adorable Little Wooden Horse ever since I was old enough to page through magazines.  I don't seem to be able to find pictures of him, but here are the youtube links to the actual Storyteller stories being read, with the corresponding pages being displayed:

Gobbolino and The Little Wooden Horse (Part 1)

Gobbolino and The Little Wooden Horse (Part 2)

Gobbolino and The Little Wooden Horse (Part 3)

Gobbolino and The Little Wooden Horse (Part 4)

Gobbolino and The Little Wooden Horse (Part 5)

And then the one we had:  Gobbolino's Christmas Adventure

You don't have to actually watch them, I just posted them for fun AND as a record for myself for the future:  I want to build my own little horse like that.  I'm not sure if it's even possible, but he's too adorable for words and I'd love my own.

Talking of adorable and my own, etc, we've decided that Dude's going to be moving in with his grandparents (G's parents), because that way at least we can spend another month with him, as opposed to only visiting him when we go to Mom+Sis.  *Sigh* don't even want to think about saying goodbye to him :(

Ok let me just press post here before I think about it too much :(

76 Trombones

Seventy six trombones led the big parade

With a hundred and ten cornets close at hand.

They were followed by rows and rows of the finest virtuosos,

the cream of ev'ry famous band.

Seventy six trombones caught the morning sun,

With a hundred and ten cornets right behind.

There were more than a thousand reeds springing up like weeds,

there were horns of ev'ry shape and kind.

There were copper bottom tympani in horse platoons,

thundering, thundering, all along the way.

Double bell euphoniums and big bassoons,

each bassoon having his big fat say.

There were fifty mounted cannon in the battery,

Thundering, thundering, louder than before.

Clarinets of ev'ry size and trumpeters who'd improvise

a full octave higher than the score.

Seventy six trombones led the big parade,

when the order to march rang out loud and clear.

Starting off with a big bang bong on a Chinese gong,

by a big bang bonger at the rear.

Seventy six trombones hit the counter point,

while a hundred and ten cornets played the air.

Then I modestly took my place as the one and only bass,

and I oompahed up and down the square.

This used to be one of Dad's favourite ditties to whistle or hum.  I never knew there was more than 1 line of lyrics!  Another of his favourites was Henrietta's Wedding:

We've been invited to Henrietta's wedding,
Though she can't tell us when it will be.
We hear, the tears that her mother is shedding,
Are because of the old lady's glee.
When will it be?

When will it be, when will it be? (2x)
We've been invited to Henrietta's wedding
Though she can't tell when it will be.

We've been invited to Henrietta's wedding,
No one knows who her husband will be.
They say she's started to buy all of the bedding,
But the husband's a deep mystery.
Who can it be?

Who can it be, who can it be? (2x)
Though we're invited to Henrietta's wedding
No one knows who her husband will be.

We've been invited to Henrietta's wedding,
And we want to know where it will be.
We wonder which way to go to the wedding
And, between you and me, so does she.
Where will it be?

Where will it be? Where will it be? (2x)
We wonder which wway to go to the wedding,
And between you and me, so does she.

Interestingly, here's a quote (taken from mudcat.org) from one of the co-composers:

"There used to be a Zulu tune of about 8 bars about the coming celebration of Henrietta's wedding- an event that always remained in the future. My theory is that some man at some time told his wife he had spent his money on a present for Henriettta's wedding, and, when this proved to be a myth, he became the laughing stock of the town... then the country... and quite logically, a folk ditty ensued. Upon that fragmant, this published song is based."

There was something freaky in the house now...

I kept hearing sounds... scarily reminiscent of the time when there was one of those 3" cockroaches on the rim of G's bedside dirtbin (in (our previous abode - shudder)

It sounds like it's coming from the area of the frontdoor/stairwell - which would make sense cos there's a gap under the door (nice and spacious).  I'm a bit creeped out and it's getting louder/more insistent, so I turn to G and tell him (what I said above, about cockroach).  As I am telling him that, something comes out from upstairs...

... lands on the mat in front of front door... black, dark

Insecty...

I mini-freak.

Then, it hopflies towards me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then I big-freak!!

It flies towards me, after bouncing on the carpet halfway towards me, then flies past and lands on the curtain behind me.

I kinda wobbly-'scream'-gasp sound and JUUUUUUMP out the way.

G gets up... I sorta come closer to look:

IT'S A FRICKIN' GRASSHOPPER!!!!

*huff*

Grasshoppers are fine... cockroaches, however, are not!!

What I want to know, now, is wtf it was doing upstairs?! 

Christmas is in the air... sort of

Only 'sort of' because we ...

MISSED OUT on the Advent calendars!!!!

WTF seriously!

I know the supermarkets here rip down the Xmas decorations pretty much before Xmas day is even over, but this is ridiculous!  We went to the mall on +- 2 Dec and there were NONE!  How's that for unfair?  Our 'tradition' has been to get it a few days into December then to scoff the chocs whose days have passed at once... then G and I alternate days (I take on the even days, he takes on the odd, for example).

Man, how dumb.  Missed out... can't believe it.

Anyway, we did pretty much all of our Xmas gift shopping today, gotta get a few more things, and then also stock up on wrapping paper/stickytape/labels.

Another thing on our shopping list:  an external hard drive, to make a backup of all our stuff and also so we have access to our stuff while the computers are in the container (thankfully we have laptops).

Then we also need to buy a large suitcase for G.  We're already needing to begin planning our flight and camp-out in Brisbane as we've only got 3 weeks left til our stuff's packed.  I'm amped, I guess the '3 weeks to go' sensation is tricking my brain into being all excited when we ONLY fly in just under 8 weeks.

Despite it being 23:33 right now, I've been sending S in US pics of sushi (cos I'm not sure what my favourite sushi dishes are called there), and OMGGGGGGGGGG I'm so hungry now!

(I was going to insert a lekker pic of some to-die-for sushi here, but everything on Google images is blah/too big/not right, so nvm :-P )

Salmon uramaki, salmon fashion sandwiches, salmon handroll... mmmmmmmmmm!!

Ok, now it's actually time to go sleep, not eat, so: adieu!

Just a little bit of proof

Proof that, yes, I have been stitching:

I've finished all the pink now.  Just greys, browns, blues/turquoise and cream to do.  It's slow though, I'm not sure why this one is taking so long - unless it just FEELS slow because each colour is an element in the pic.  With a big horse like Warpony or Golden Ice, each colour fills out the horse a bit more, where with this it's like, "the geese don't have bodies!!  There are no feathers yet!!  There's no mountain! Blehh so slow!" LOL

I'm going to finish the next few 'small' colours.  I have 11 colours left.  On the three cardboard thread organisers they seem to be organised by number of stitches/skeins.  I'm trying to finish the 'fewest stitches' organiser LOL.  Don't worry - it's completely irrelevant, just my way of ticking off what I've done. "Oh, look!  Just 1 organiser left" (completely ignoring the fact that that organiser, with 5 colours, makes up 50%+ of the actual design... X-D

If I'd known...

15+ years ago, if I'd known what I know now, I would rather have spent my hard-saved cash and bought CDs instead of cassettes!  Having to buy replacement CDs is expensive, even if they are so old and 'dated' that they're in the 'budget/sale' section of the online shop!  I suppose in future, we'll feel the same way about having 'wasted' money on CDs, except even though everything is now mp3/digital/electronic/virtual, CDs can still be ripped... a DVD drive reads CDs... nothing reads cassettes anymore! 

I have a double tapedeck, 3CD hifi (wow, ancient even to call it that), and the tapedecks had been all that I'd had left apart from the radio (this was before G and I met, before we hooked up the 'media computer' etc) as the CD player on that thing was a bitch from pretty much the word go and I stopped using it a long time ago.  I don't miss twisted, shredded cassettes though, and misaligned tape heads were the bane of my music enjoyment, but at least the tapedecks still worked.  Now, however, I don't think they do anymore.

Part of the reason I wanted to record the voiceclip (and another tape from my childhood*) was because wherever we go in life, I doubt we'd buy a tapedecked soundsystem again, and it'd be a pity to lose these memories.  So we've been 'ripping' sound from the tapes (only the music/things we can't buy replacements for), and the sound output has been getting worse and worse, as if the music was being submerged into a bowl of water!  I suspect the elastic bands inside the decks are... aged LOL.  We're going to try hook up G's mini-hifi to see if his tapedeck does a better job, and I sincerely hope it does!  We don't have that many tapes we want to preserve, pleeaase, Tapedeck God, smile on us a short while longer...

*   My sis, my 2 younger cousins and I at one stage spent a good time recording a Goon-show style tape.  It's terribly embarrassing listening to it now, but it's such a precious timetunnel to back then as the memories it conjures up are so vivid.  It's also nice to hear the adult family members who are caught on tape in the background of the 'show'.

I might just try to blackmail my cousin/s at a later date though - watch this space *rubs hands together evilly* - as there's some "usable" material of my cousin (probably 2 at the time) singing her version of Achy Breaky Heart!

On a happier note

... or rather, a less contemplative/introspective note!

Just had home-made sushi for supper, sitting chilling before heading to bed, and I just remembered (scrolling down to previous posts) that I need to put up the pics from the Halloween party.  I'm pretty tired now, so maybe tomorrow.

In other news - I only just discovered the 'followers' widgetmabobbie on here, so I added it to mah bloggeh.  I now can see that I have two followers *waves*  I'll try not to go overboard with melodrama and stuff (I hope I'm not whiny - forgive me if I have been in the past), and my language rating has come down (from probably at least PG18 LOL) of late which I'm relieved about - work stress just doesn't do a person any favours, does it - so I'll try and keep it like that too.  I must say this more cheerful colour scheme is more than just a visual improvement ^.^

To be honest, I have actually stitched a bit since posting the 'Q&A' post a few days ago.  CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!  I'll probably stitch a bit on and off - watch this space for photo updates!

*blank*

I have no concise words to try and describe how I'm feeling, but I will try.

I just, finally, 6 years after he passed away, listened to a tape recording of my dad's voice.

He was 81 when he passed away, I had just turned 22. Yes, there was a significant generation gap.

It was a few days after my birthday.  He was 'fine' at my 21st party.  A few weeks after the party, he and my mom finally got a diagnosis of what had been causing him trouble for a while:  he had throat cancer.

I won't go into detail of what happened, but he had had a scratchy, husky voice for a while, had to clear his throat all the time, at times looking up made him cough so much he felt he was choking (I think he actually did, sometimes), but it was put down to being postnasal drip, or age, I think, or something unimportant/insignificant. 

I remember Mom breaking the news to us, sitting with us in the lounge, trying to keep a brave face while speaking, saying that it's 'just cancer' and he'll go through radiation treatment and throat surgery, but we'll stay strong and see him through it.

He had a tracheotomy.  He went through a horrific operation, and it was horrible to see him afterwards, in the ICU ward, all puffy and stitched all around his neck.  He never had a voice again, after that.  As he improved in hospital, he got given a bib to wear, to cover his throat hole so that it wouldn't get dry.  He was supposed to block the hole with his thumb, so that he could expel air through his throat so that he could speak.  He couldn't smell anymore, and he struggled so much to try speak again, but he never managed properly and would get so frustrated that he just ended up wheezing angrily at us, while mouthing the words he was trying to say.

He had to go through radiation therapy for a good while after that, as there were other tumours around his neck/upper chest/shoulders area, and it made him quite weak.  He really struggled, and if I remember correctly, after the new year he started to decline.  He ended up sleeping more and more, and having moments where he blacked out and fell over while he was awake and up and about, which forced Mom to take him to hospital as she could no longer look after him properly in that state (sleeping all the time). 

He was in hospital for a short while (I don't recall how long, I think maybe a week or two), and the medical aid was causing hassles, saying that they were no longer going to cover him in hospital, that Mom would need to look after him at home.  In the meantime, during his hospital 'stay', he deteriorated more and more, until he was asleep/not aware of anything most of the time.  Basically, his brain was shutting down bit by bit, at that time. He just faded continuously, and I believe he passed away in the depths of one of his long, 'peaceful' 'sleeps'. 

I had just started a new job that week, and had to take time off from work.  I don't know (don't care) how bothered they were, as a person only really has one father.

I've gone on, all this time, with distanced memories of him.  I've been trying to 'capture' as much of him as I can, by way of scanning all the family photos, scanning his folder of war-era correspondence (he was a reluctant member of the compulsory parades!) and other papers, without really letting myself *remember* him, if that makes any sense.

Recording this voice clip has been put aside for a months;  I wanted to wait until I felt strong enough to listen to it.  Mom reassured me that it was humorous, that it wasn't all emotional and depressing, like him saying a 'final farewell' or anything, but said that it upset her to listen to it because of how bad his voice sounded and that it angered her that the doctors at the time couldn't really be bothered to investigate his problem properly, which led to a significant delay in diagnosis (and subsequent treatment).  Basically, their disinterest led to his getting past a 'recovery' point, cancer-wise.

I just listened to this clip, and it's true.  His voice is unmistakably his, but it sounds so terribly damaged.  His 'voice' when he tried to speak after the operation was croaky, burpy almost, but his voice in the clip is so bad, so damaged, that I understand.  I feel Mom's pain.  He sounds so oldly youthful, like a lively elderly gentleman, think David Attenborough (on his Trials of Life documentary series), but with a faulty voice.  It sounds, now, so wrong, compared to the memory of how his real voice sounded.  This isn't his real voice, but it's the only voiceclip we have.  And since it's him, I've saved a copy on the computer.  At least it won't be lost, it can be backed up.

I hope this post isn't as dismally depressing as I suspect it might be.  I just wanted to try express my feelings about this - I haven't really, before.

Stitching Q&A

Ganked from Joyce's page, a Q&A about cross-stitch.

Here's my go:

1. What are you stitching at the moment?
Janlynn's Apache Wedding Blessing - but it's on hold in preparation for the move.

2. How many finishes have you had this year? Small? Medium? Large? Extra Large?
1 - large (I think it's huge!!) - Kustom Krafts - Golden Ice

3. Do you think you will finish any more in the next month and a half before the end of the year?
No way.  5 weeks til we move out of our home, plus Xmas shopping and other goings-on to do with year-end :P

4. If you could buy 1 thing for yourself what would it be? (Doesn't have to be stitching)
Just one thing - that's limited LOL.  Like J, a house in Aus... or a car.  Or a business that makes mucho moola and then I can live off the dividends/etc and can then buy anything *else* I want!  Ok but seriously-ish... sheesh, I can't think of anything!

5. What is the best thing you have ever stitched?
I've only stitched 3 'biggies', and I can't choose between them!

6. Do you like making lists?
Definitely!  I'm crazy with lists and kept myself alive at work when it was uber-dull by going through my lists repeatedly.  Am I OCD yet?

7. Do you stitch in rotation (how does it work?) or OAAT?
I do one at a time, except when I've hit a lull with one and JUST CAN'T HELP myself and just HAVE TO touch the next one's virgin threads + fabric... but then I get back to the other and finish it.

8. What is the next thing you plan to stitch?
Can't yet decide between Dimensions - Gentle Strength and Character Creations' - Motion (Arabian & Swallow).  I have to buy threads for Motion so I might just be 'lazy' and do the kitted Gentle Strength first.

9. What is your fave ONS? And why?
123Stitch too - efficient and their range is unsurpassable!  I won't look on there for a good long time as I have um... at least 7 charts lined up already waiting...

10. Do you have a stitching chair?
Not really - will have to see how things are in Aus.

11. Do your children/pets get into your stitching things?
To quote J, "No kids, no pets. LOL!!" except no pets "...that can get into my stitching things" as he lives in his cage.  I think he'd shred the fabric in a matter of moments!

12. Do you participate in any stitching forums?
Nope.  Too busy haunting the SA/Australia forums ;-)

Reunited!

I'd been resigned to the fact that Frodge (as he has since been nicknamed) would not be able to accompany us on our journey across the seas.

Until I uncovered the heart... 

The problem was that Frodge was filled with seasand, and the heart was filled with dried lavender - both UBERno-nos when it comes to customs/quarantine (correctly referred to here as AQIS from now on).

I asked G's mom very nicely if she wouldn't mind unpicking the stitches of the two of them, and emptying them for me.  She did more than just that, she filled them both, lovingly restored them to 'full health' (with synthetic stuffing) and even gave Frodge heavy, beadfilled limbs!

As you can see, he's thrilled with the change, and can't wait to set off on the journey.

G's mom said in an sms, "An incredible flow of rough beach sand poured out of him.. Thousands of tiny shell fragments."  It was poetic, and symbolic too - a hidden, secret beauty.  We've decided that we're going to return the sand to the sea sometime, in honour of everything that must be left behind, and everything that cannot be 'taken' due to their intangibility.

The heart was a gift to us from G's parents, on the one side of the heart it has "girl" stitched in pink, and on the flipside it has "boy" stitched in blue.  The i in girl is dotted with a bead, and the o in boy is a button.

Frodge, on the other hand, goes back a long way - I spotted a relative of his, at my aunt and uncle's place, being used as a doorstop (being filled with a load of sand, that was the point!).  It was probably 'love at first sight' - I just couldn't be without one of my own.  I was probably a tot of 2 years old, but I was decided:  I had to have one!  So, Aunt asked her colleague (who had made their one), strings were pulled etc etc, and he's been with me ever since.  An odd sort of 'stuffed toy' if ever there was one, but he had a special place in my heart all these years, and voila, he will still, for a long time on!

Yes, I'm still alive!

I haven't died of allergies or empathies and sympathies... sorting out my stuff has been satisfactory.  Accomplishments yay!

I've started typing up a list of everything we own, and so far have done our CDs, DVDs, PSP games, etc etc, and I've listed all my books.  I'm not sure whether or not I'll do another cull - I suppose it can't hurt, but I don't want to get rid of (too much) stuff just for the sake of getting rid of stuff.  But I'll see... I think actually diving in and tackling this huge job has made it easier to be stronger and 'mean' and decisive about getting rid of stuff.

This past week has been extremely tiring, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, the works.  It feels so long ago that we went to N+N's place for potjiekos (it was Friday evening!!), and then Saturday we... tidied up (had flat-viewers in the afternoon, with a visit from the owners of our unit), and went shopping.  Sunday we went through to HBay to join Pop in celebrating his birthday.  We borrowed his Woodstock and Isle of Wight festival DVDs.  So far we've watched Woodstock and WOW... I can't believe it happened.  3+ days of it... I don't think I'd have survived... but I spose you wouldn't know for sure unless you were in that situation.  But still.  Hectic!

There are 75 days left til we jet off!  G has 11 more working days.  Crazy.  What's weird is that we're already having people come and look at the place - we aren't out yet...!  I know we aren't like, SPESHIL or anything, but still, it feels now, for REAL, that we're going. We're being replaced, as tenants... that feels weird.  I guess I should start looking at places to rent in Brisbane, what'll feel weird there is looking at the listings and thinking that we will be (soon) using the 'contact the agent button!

Ok, I really could do with a new laptop.  One that can handle firefox RSS thingie updating WITHOUT affecting something like blog-post composition.  The typing 'lags'.  Gughhh... so irritating.

I think that's all I can think of for now.  Dude's my cute Dudelpudel.  Love him to bits.  G is my G.  Love him to bits too.

That's all for now!

Where?

If this is not a place where tears are understood,

where can I go to cry?

If this is not a place where my spirit can take wing,

where can I go to fly?

If this is not a place where my questions can be asked,

where can I go to seek?

If this is not a place where my heart cries can be heard,

where can I go to speak?

If this is not a place where my spirit can take wing,

where can I go to fly?

-- Unknown

Significance

Today, we have 90 days 'til we fly.  And tomorrow we will have been married for 2 years.

Time flies!

Yesterday morning we met up for coffee with some people from the forum, and it was nice to chat to people in a similar kind of boat to us.  I think the majority of us (+-15) are 'on our way' (got visas) but it was still interesting to hear other people's stories.  It's also unusual to actually go into a bit of detail about our Aus plans, explaining what we intend doing there, because most of the people we usually talk to (friends/family) don't really know the ins and outs of the migration 'process' so we kinda simplify our 'updates' to save their sanity.

Yesterday afternoon we spent a bit of time shopping at the mall we met up at for coffee, getting goodies for tomorrow.  We chilled the rest of the afternoon and then headed out (after much preparation) to the Halloween party at N & N's place.  I wasn't able to be as thorough with my costume as I'd intended, but I managed well enough and 'lurched' in the doorway to much gasps and laughter when we arrived.  Once the obligatory pictures are up and tagged on FB I will gank them and put them up here.

We got to bed pretty late but still had to be up a 'normal' time this morning as we needed to tidy up:  the landlady popped in to check out a few things to be fixed.  Despite the continuing improvements to the house (which make it nicer and more like a home) on the part of the 'landlords', the fact that we have only 2 months left in this place (aw, boo!) makes me feel very unrooted now.  I've been slack with the whole sorting thing, but one can only manage so much in one go, so this coming week I should be able to fully throw myself into it again.  Gotta get stuck into it!

This time period is also the beginning of the closing... giving notice to medical aid and ISP etc etc etc.  It all starts now!

G's work finishes end of November.  It'll be his turn to cull his stuff soon.  Hopefully by then I'd be finished.  Ok that makes it sound like I have LOADS of stuff, but it's just that I'd probably re-assess what I've got once or twice more.

Tomorrow the 'alarm-wires' guy is coming to see what all he needs to do.  We got the new windows etc done in May, and yes, it's been that long without a working alarm system!  It hit me last week that I'm sitting at home these days, all by myself, and there are no working panic buttons.  Not great.  So he's coming tomorrow and might also actually rewire the whole thing straight away.

Just in case there's any curiosity about how uninspired my blogposts are these days, it's because I usually open up the 'compose blogpost' page when I get an idea, and by the time I actually get to typing (hours later), I've lost my inspiration.  So these days my blogposts don't seem to have much direction LOL.  This time my distraction was looking at old school photos on Facebook.  I don't feel very much as if I've grown up or changed as much as everyone else.  I still kinda feel the same... but in other ways I feel completely removed from those times.  I guess it's a good thing. 

I don't want to start a cycle of contemplation *now*, on top of this whole emigration thing, but I think once things are settled again, I want to study a bit further.  I don't know what, but I'd like to broaden my horizons.  If nothing else, I'd like to take classes and learn something non-work-related.

On that note, I'll say au revoir, ciao for niao, etc.