The Warpony

Warpy is FINISHED!

Time to rant

Lol, ok not rant as such, but just spew out thoughts and rants and shite like people do in their blogs.

I'm so pissed off. Ok I was in a bad mood when trying to find an outfit for a very formal do in October... because nothing fits properly anymore. Nothing I try on FITS. I tried on a black outfit which was alright but made me feel hideous. It was so depressing trying it on... this after I had tried some other clothes on (a cotton shirt and a jacket... both too small/not fitting properly despite being size 36 and 38 respectively. WTF, I'd have to try a 38 shirt and a 40 jacket? Fuck no.) This dress/black number/outfit was a 38 and it was weird. It fitted size-wise but just sucked. So I rather dejectedly searched for something else. Found something else. A bronze-colour outfit, a skirt and a kinda corset-top. And a white jacket. I didn't look at the price really until I'd tried them on. The bronze getup was lovely, fitted just right but the jacket was a good fit... BUT it was about R550! And it had a staple-hole in the sleeve. So I settled on breaking the bank by only getting the bronze-outfit... expensive (for me).

Got home, rushed off to a farewell at W+S's for J+C... going to Germany for a year. Had a lekker braai, was fun to see everyone again. Yum food, although I ate too much salad and didn't have much of my lamb chops!! Was going to bring it home but forgot it in W+S's fridge, bummer!

When we got home, I tried on the bronze-outfit again, as I'd been dying to show G what it looked like cos it really made me feel nice, it looked nice... so I tried it on. It was nice! Put on my black strappy shoes, but I have to get new ones because the "velveteen" is rubbing off and making rubbery specks everywhere. So pissed off about that cos they were my matric dance shoes and they felt like an investment: black shoes that you could keep for those special occasions and outings where you have to look extremely posh. But no, stupid waste of money shoes are rotting. Whatever.

So anyway, I took off the outfit and laid it out on the bed, admiring it and feeling excited to have something smart and properly fitting, and I noticed a mark on it. It's like a tiny mark of Pritt glue, on the front. Then I scrutinised the entire thing and found a big blotch of this dried glue stuff on the back too! I am SO angry. You go to a shop and try stuff on and are supposed to check out what it LOOKS LIKE and how it MAKES YOU LOOK. Your concern is supposed to be whether it fits correctly, not whether it's got all its fucking buttons intact! Dirty marks on it - that is just unacceptable. You CAN'T scrutinise the bloody thing in the shop as it would entail laying it out completely flat on the floor, and holding it up and stretching the fabric out and looking in all kinds of lighting. Rubbish! I can't believe it. I am so fed up.

I am just so fed up. And on top of that, I have no clothes which fit. Ok lemme be more accurate: I have like 6 pants IN TOTAL which fit. 3 of those are WORK PANTS. 1 pair of jeans that fits, 2 that sort of fit. I have polonecks which fit only because they've stretched in the wash. T-shirts - 3 presentable ones... I don't want to try on my "summer clothes" (I've already thrown out my shorts), what will I have left? I can't afford a whole new wardrobe. I really can't.

I feel sorry for G, waiting around while I drag my heels around the shop, trying to find something nice, only to try it on and not have it fit right, ending up grumpy as a result. It's only clothes. Just finding something to wear...

Only it's not. It's far more complex than that. I go into the change room, to try on something that fits "me", only it's not me. Something has happened, that I have somehow got extra weight, like a handicap for a racehorse. It doesn't fit, because it's not me anymore. Nothing fits ME cos it's not me trying clothes on anymore. I'm somehow underneath the extra weight, that layer of blob. I look in the mirror and am shocked (yes, I'll use that strength of word for it), because it's not me anymore. I've somehow morphed into something else. I'm bitter about it, because you haven't grown into yourself until you're at least 18... I'd say I only grew into myself after I turned 20 or 21. And then at 25, suddenly your body is just snatched away. You get given something else, which you can't find clothes for. Where did it come from? I turned 25, and blammo, I picked up a shitload of weight and now nothing fits me anymore. Why? I haven't changed the way I eat, nothing has changed. I'm not extremely unfit, I haven't become more sedentary, it just happened. Why? How is it fair that now that I am working and earning a living and are comfortable in my body, it changes so that it's all wrong?

Now I have to be a slave to my paycheque again, to buy new clothes. Lovely. Fucking depressing is what it is. Specially since everything is so damn expensive. Plain-ass black pants for work, nothing under R200 unless you want black which fades into brown after the first wash. I can't afford it. G can't buy them for me, because then I owe him money back which doesn't help at all. I don't have anything left. So then I start dwelling on shit like "why is life crap in that you work and earn pay which DOESN'T COVER YOU for the month?". My pay goes into stuff like medical aid, the internet line, my share of the rent, and then what's left isn't really much to play with. If I buy a pair of shoes, nothing's left. Seeing as I end up paying back for shit all the time. Why? Cos I don't have anything in the first place. It all just goes around and around and then I am in such a foul mood and I hate everything.

Am I destined to be completely dependent on G for everything? I have no shoes, honey, can I use your credit card please? I don't have underwear, can I take your credit card... I need work pants... credit card please....

Soul-destroying.

It's not the difference in pay, I'm not jealous and wanting to have a HUGE salary which matches his or anything like that. I just wish I had enough to cover my own fucking (growing) ass.

The World

I'm a little annoyed with the world at the moment.

I'm annoyed that people are such arseholes that they honestly just DO NOT give a FUCK about anyone else. Yes, unfortunately we have neighbours like that (on the one side of us. The people on the other side are very cool). It's like these 3 women and a brat. Whatever. People like them don't deserve to exist. There is just NO consideration for anybody else... "oh, the kid's slamming the door over and over and over at 7am on a weekend?? NO WORRIES! WE're awake at 7am on a public holiday having a smoke, so what's the problem??" Bastards. That brat rides around on a plastic motorbike all fucking day, which is enough to work on ANYONE'S nerves!!!!!!

Ok regardless of that... I'm annoyed that my ring had to be sent away to be fixed and then wash, rinse, repeat (it had to be sent back about 3 times...). It is now ready to be collected in the shop after being sent away and having a completely new one made up for me. I'm all ready to fight now, my hackles are up, because when I phoned (yes, *I* phoned THEM to find out if it was ready, despite the fact that they said they'd phone me to say it's ready), the guy explained that it's not the same one (which I am aware of) but he also mentioned that the main diamond isn't the same size. He wasn't sure of which size was which, said something like "if yours was a .23, this one is either .24 or .22..." Mine is a .24. If it is a .23 or a .22, I'm NOT going to be very happy. The only way I'd accept it if it was smaller would be if the colour rating was better (mine's a G, you only get D, E and F above mine) or the clarity rating was better (mine's a SI2, you can get quite a few better rated ones than that). Otherwise, we must get a refund for part of it's price as we got a discount on mine because the one on their website was a .25.

ARGH!!!!! Why the hell can't things just be RIGHT! Buy a thing and it's RIGHT first time!

Our mattress, too, is faulty. After nagging, they've finally agreed to send us a replacement mattress and take away the old one. The stitching had come loose. A mattress! Stitching came loose on the mattress... you don't pay pennies for a mattress, it's not a cheap, throwaway thing. Sposed to last for at least 10 years... but no, once again, something that isn't FIT for selling!

*sigh*

I can't wait for the weekend, hopefully the arseholes next door will SHUT THE FUCK UP long enough for us to be able to sleep PAST 7am!!!!!!!!

How to piss off anyone who works for you

Don't let them eat.

That's right!

No teabreak. Yes it's written into the company policy that there are 2 teatimes and a lunch time EVERY day but in reality, this is not compulsory. In fact, it is actually a treat if you let them eat.

Examples: as receptionist, I only got 3 lunchbreaks a week. Teatimes were non-existent as I'd have to listen for the phone from the kitchen while trying to toast sandwiches. Upon getting back to my desk, I'd have to choke the sandwiches down because I'd not even get a chance to eat them - the phone/door would ring non-stop.

Lunch times... ok coupled with non-existent teabreaks, Mondays and Thursdays were an ordeal: sitting at the frontdesk for the whole day. The only "break" was to go to the toilet. It was a mission enough trying to find someone to listen to the phone so that I could even go to the toilet.

But now. Different position. "admin assistant" doing PA work (for "admin assitant" pay because not having the "PA" title means I don't have to be paid as much...):

It is 11:10. I wasn't able to get a break to eat at 10:30 (teatime) because I was typing minutes. I am in the kitchen toasting my 3 slices of bread that I'd packed in my lunchbox. I have the tub of cottage cheese I brought to work, it's on the counter, open. I am toasting my bread on the griller. One of them is ready, so I put cottage cheese on it. I am now standing with the cottage-cheesy knife ready to spread the cheese, the 2 other slices of toast are quietly toasting beside me.

Hbbm comes into the kitchen. "I need you now. I have to leave at 12 and I have only 40 minutes left. I don't know what to say... "

I'm frozen, standing there in UTTER disbelief. He can SEE me. He can see what I'm doing. He can see that I am making food. But that just doesn't matter.

I now have 1 slice of toast with cottage cheese on it, and 2 which have been toasted but haven't got cheese on them.

"I'm leaving at 12, after that you can do what you like, you can go to beach for all I care, I just need you now".

Emails. It's "critical" emails that I have to type. Once we're done, I look down at the plate of toast on my desk. The toast with the cottage cheese went soggy and the other 2 went pap. On top of that, he's been near my food. Stood behind me dictating emails. Leaned over to proof-read what I'd typed. Nice.

He's so chipper and cheerful, "oh I already feel so much better! now that these things are done! you know, life is all about priorities..." as in, whatever crisis comes up next, must be dealt with as if it is a life/death situation. No fucking kidding. My priority? TO EAT WHEN I'M HUNGRY!

I just nod and agree and smile minimally. I don't have enough kilojoules left in my body to manage more than a tiny smile. Nor do I have the mood to give more than that.

The reason for this? He's going away for the weekend. He had to be home by 12:30 and if he was late his wife would get annoyed at him.

Deadline: 27 December 2007

I finally did it: made an appointment to do my learners' test. Yes, it's so long since high school why didn't I do it sooner etc blabla. I just haven't. Now I am. I'm glad the appointment is still in this year hehe, even though it's not by much. It's during our office holidays, so I don't have to take a leave day to go write it - I'm keeping all my leave for November next year.

I'm so close to finishing Warpy! I will knuckle down and finish it by the end of this week (I'm going to try my darndest!!!), so that I can start on Heremia - I'll be dividing my time between exercising, Heremia, studying for learners, chores and obviously working, eating, sleeping etc. I am SO excited about Heremia, it's going to be so beautiful. I can't wait to finish Warpony, so that I can stick him in a frame and put him up on the wall and admire him. Get inspiration to work on Heremia hehe!

And now: I am bored.

YAY!~

Warpony as at 15mins ago

Originally this post would have been titled "Warpony as at 5mins ago" but the computer decided it didn't like my camera memory card and I had to beat it into submission (I restarted it).

Warpony!!!

HAHAHAHAHA omg.... HAHHAAHA

There is a reason I have been wanting to change banks for quite a while.

I have opened new accounts at a totally different bank, I just have to change my debit orders and stuff and then I am going to close the account at "my" bank. Absalutely the worst bank ever.

Well where do I start. Way back when, I applied for a loan and a credit card. They stuffed up with the credit card so I cancelled that straightaway. I cancelled the loan but they messed that up too, only settling/closing it not CANCELLING it (which meant I still paid installments! wtf!) because "no1 has ever done this (made use of the cooling-off period to cancel stuff) before!"

Whatever.

A few months ago, I got a notification from them that they would no longer be sending verification emails, and would be changing to sending sms verification. "This is a compulsory change for security reasons" according to them. BUT, in order for THEM to make the change which is COMPULSORY and initiated by THEM, *I* have to go into the BRANCH and tell them to make this change.

I procrastinated, half in disbelief and half hoping that they'd actually make use of my details AS SUPPLIED to them all those years ago which are not out of date (which they have previously made use of to send me invitations to take out loans and shit), but no, alas, they are not that "intelligent".

So anyway, this afternoon I go during lunch to tell them that they are allowed to make the change that they said they had to make, and the lady at the helpdesk is like "you want it changed from email to sms? what's your cell number" etc so I give her my cell number and tell her it's the compulsory change from email to sms. "What do you mean compulsory?" "erm, you know, like it must be done, it's compulsory? It just is?" "ohh... thank you for informing us and making us aware of it".

Erm, right...

All that I can think is WHAT THE FUCK??

On hold

I'm currently on hold... it is boring.

I'm trying to reach my medical aid. Boring.

Today is boring. I have nothing really to do. Hbbm is away til Friday. Which is nice except I'd rather be at home now. Boring!

I must have been on hold now for 10mins. Fuck it's taking ages!!

Fitness plan

Wow this weekend was BUSY! Friday afternoon we rushed through to check my ring... it was delivered and ready to collect but I was still not happy with it. The diamond which was lopsided was loppedside oppositely. :P Anyway, I got them to send it back... the lady who I dealt with in buying the ring said that she'd requested a new one for me as this being not fixed by now is unacceptable. So that'll take another 4 days but then I should have my ring!!!!

Friday evening W&S and G and I went to have supper at the waterfront. Had a lekker time and laughed in disbelief at the opening ceremony of the rugby world cup. OMG that was BAD!

Saturday morning we went to the bank. I dumbly didn't think of taking an account showing my old address to apply for the account so I didn't get to do that. Sucks. Felt rather daft hehe. We have brunch with G's parents and then went home and did some chores. G mowed the lawn (with me helping and giving moral support :D) The neighbour had left her lawn-equipment outside our front door on the Friday and said we could use them, so G weed-eatered the grass, mowed the grass and then vacuumed the grass bits up with her vacuum thing. It's SO COOL!! We discovered that we have a few pansies in the garden - two of them are in the grass and I've moved the border of the flowerbed to include it. I'm so excited, we must buy a whole lot of pansies cos their faces are SO CUTE!

Went to M&J's place for synd, he was away for the evening but we all had pancakes. Lots of pancakes!

Sunday morning we couldn't really sleep late either. We were up early (for a Sunday) to go view the venue we're booking for the wedding. It's SO lovely. So much space and lots of photo opportunity surroundings.

One thing about the place we're living in now - the kid next door is a nuisance and with them next door, no day is a sleep late day since his mother is a chain-smoker who smokes every 20minutes. So she's up (therefore he's up too) outside smoking and he is SUCH a whiny little shit. He doesn't talk, he doesn't laugh, all he does is whine and moan and complain and mumble and just makes crying kind of sounds. Which is really stupid since he's old enough to walk and run himself around with a toy motorbike (which I'm getting to dislike too). All he does the entire time that they're outside for a smoke is whine. It's really baffling. I think he's about 2 or 3, maybe even 4 but I reckon because he doesn't have any siblings, his mother has no-one to point at and say to him "grow up, you're not (the younger sibling's age)" or "look how grown-up your brother/sister is behaving". Otherwise maybe he's a little retarded. Whatever. He's a whiny little brat. But an infinite improvement on anything in the previous place!!!

We went to the waterfront on Sunday too, to go check out the Wedding Expo. It was quite nice, we got cards of all the people there (photographers and the like) but we already have a good plan in mind. Afterwards we went home and I stitched a bit. G installed the loo roll holder (no idea why there wasn't one before) and he fixed other things around the house. Power-tools are fun! Oh and we now have a new door-lock which no-one else has a key to because at least twice we came home and found the front door unlocked despite having locked it before leaving for work.

Warpony is looking STUNNING! So nearly finished! I'm going to stitch like mad to finish him as soon as I can. Then I will sit down and study that GODDAMNED learners' licence book! This weekend hopefully we can go book an appointment to write the test! I'm going to study that book like there's no tomorrow. Will restrict my stitching (despite having started Heremia) so that I focus on it.

Another thing we're going to focus on is getting fit. We had an exercise session yesterday for an hour. I'm feeling a little bit stiff... not bad, that good feeling you get when you KNOW you've worked out a bit. Tonight we're going to do other exercises (not repeat the same ones from yesterday) - our muscles have to recover from the exertion.

Today is so boring. I had quite a few things to do this morning but hbbm went out to meetings and although he's coming back very soon, I'm bored. As always, I'd much rather be at home, in the sun, stitching!!

I had something to blog about

but I have since forgotten what it was.

Yesterday was secretaries' day. 4 of us got identical boxes of chocolates with identical cards (no 'dear x'). Which is strange seeing as the one lady is diabetic.

It is Thursday today. Yesterday felt like Thursday so today is a bit stupid because of that. Tomorrow is Friday and it's also Casual Day! Get to wear jeans and takkies to work! Can't wait. Actually I more "can't wait" for the weekend. W&S are coming to visit Friday evening (we're going to see W's new motorbike), Saturday morning G and I are going to the bank, going to meet up with his parents for lunch and hopefully go check out a wedding venue. Then Sat evening it's Synd. We're going to fetch some boxes too (I think it's mostly books and stuff that's at home).

Sunday we're going to the Waterfront to see the Wedding Expo. And then hopefully I'll get time to stitch.

G and I have set ourselves a goal: we're going to get fit before the wedding. We're gonna exercise and get fit, not just to look good for the wedding but for general wellbeing. It feels really lousy being so unfit. There really is a decrease in energy and alertness. I hope we can do a lot of different things: it'd be nice to go cycling, or play squash etc. We'll make a playplan so we can see what all we can do as part of our fitness regime. Can't wait! We already are getting a LITTLE fitter from going up and downstairs at home hehe!

Our Place

Here's a walkabout tour of our place:

Warpy's latest pic

My gorgeous 'pony is NEARLY done :D

Such a lot going on

This weekend was great! Friday evening we had my sis+herG and M+J over. We had butterchicken (a mild curry dish), just chatted and had a nice time. That afternoon we'd unpacked a lot of stuff just to get the lounge+kitchen area tidy. It was so cool - at one stage, during Synd, I sat back in the lounge and the place looked so lovely. So like our home! :D

Saturday morning we slept late. Priorities!

We went shopping on Saturday afternoon, got a few hardwarestore things, ideas for colourschemes, etc, and that evening we went to Banana Jam for a farewell for X and J... they're both going overseas for 6 months and 1 year respectively. Yum supper and a good time with everyone!

Sunday we slept late again... priorities, priorities!

Went to the mall to take my ring away - the centre stone is loose under the claws (probably from being resized). It feels terrible not having it now, every now and then I go "omg, where did I leave it!?!?!?" heheheh!

After dropping it off we headed off to find a mall a bit further out of town. We drove straight past it not realising the entrance wasn't on the side we thought it was. But we got there in the end. They were having a wedding expo but unfortunately all the shops in the mall close at 3pm so the expo people were already packing up. There weren't many ideas there that we haven't already thought of. We already have our ideas for the decor and stuff, we just have to draw the things or design templates/mock-ups. It's SO damn exciting! We have the colours chosen, I have a paint-sample and a bit of raffia which have the right colours.

It is SO EXCITING! I really am so thrilled and excited about it all. It's way early to be planning the wedding things, but rather earlier than later. I have an appointment with a dressmaker next Saturday - she made my matric dance dress.

Eeek!

Last night I stitched. Warpony is nearing completion. This week I want to focus on him and try to finish him. Then I'll get stuck into Heremia. I have a feeling Heremia's gonna be a blast! But Warpony comes first! Aargh, now I wish I was at home stitching... it's so sunny in our new place. Oooh, today they're coming to install the ADSL line and transfer our phone number. Then I'll be able to take pics of our place and post them here. And I'll be able to upload pics of Warpony!

GAHHHHHHHHH I wish I was at home instead! I could be doing so much stuff... not sitting at work blabla bla bla blaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!! Maybe one day I can be a stay-at-home Kit... I can keep the house tidy and stuff, and most importantly: I can stitch! *sigh* tis just a dream :D