Ok today I'm excited.
We checked out the place yesterday evening, and it's a very cute old-style building. It's pink. It's got quaint small-paned windows. Creaky wooden floors. It's very big, quite cute, really, in a big, old way. The parking bay is across from the front windows.
I've made a list of things that they need to fix up, like there's a broken tile on the side of the bath, the basin is cracked and yucky, there's a UK-style wall plug (what's WITH that?), the light switches are a bit fidgety, the cupboard in the 2nd bedroom doesn't close properly, but most of all, the windows are a bit dodgy. They (to me) look like they'd rain in, and would not be the most stable/strong windows. Also, their burglar bars are basically THICK chicken-wire, which is just NOT FUNNY. So I'd want them to fix those things up then I'd wanna stay there for ages. Also, strangely, there is no phone fitting. Is that because they CAN'T put a phone in? If so, then we can't get internet = shit.
Best of all, the place is VACANT, so maybe we can move our stuff asap! That would be nice. His place has been taken, so if we can move our stuff before the end of the year, that's perfect. We're gonna go to the agents at lunch time.
Stuff we'd need to get for the place: curtains! A double bed. A proper-size fridge. A stove/oven. Couches. PLANTS!! I guess I'm all excited and want to make it a home asap!
I'm also amped because I'm making serious headway with Warpy. He's looking STUNNING!!!! Apparently the office is closing early today so I'm going to have hours more to stitch!!!!! (with treats and music, of course!)
Yes, the office closing is another exciting thing. It's one of the bosses' birthday today, so we're having pizza for lunch. At 12:30. And apparently we're going home after that!
I'm bored now. My ipod is charging - bummer. Lunch is in half an hour then we are going home!!!!
YIPPEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
Will post a pic of Warpy as soon as I can. YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!
Friday, December 22, 2006
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Frantic Festive Season
Been stitching a lot on Warpy, it's coming along fantastically, I'm still hoping to finish the half before the end of the year. It might not happen but I'm still gonna try.
G's place has been taken, so this evening we're going to look at a flat in another part of town. At least for a 3 months contract to look for a better place, but hopefully it'll be LOVELY and the real thing! Can't wait to go look.
Sis got a car! So exciting! A 1600 automatic Citigolf. Not sure what year it is but it's not brand new. It looks good though. Have yet to see/experience it in action, hopefully will get to soon! Dammit I MUST get my learners soon and then drivers, I want my *own* car!
I hope GI & GS arrive soon, I'm really getting overexcited impatient about them! I CAN'T WAIT!
I also can't wait for tomorrow to come, actually for it to be this time tomorrow, cos then it's just an hour and 35mins til HOLIDAYS. But still a day to go. I'm amped about Xmas eve at my place, Xmas lunch at G's parents, 2nd Xmas lunch at my place and then NY's party near W's place! YEAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! It's PARTY TIME!!
Strange how updown things are LOL! Could be due to sugar ;) I've been sipping a Just Juice so maybe that's why.
Got a physio appointment on Sat, 3rd one, my muscles are fine now but it's just to fully relax them. I seem to have a rather tense "rigid" back, I guess my muscles are stringy and tight. At least that pain has gone!
Nothing else much to write about here, am busy trying to read Thud by Terry Pratchett.
Oh god, that's something to blog about: the temp like stinky-ass food! She goes out and buys stuff that stinks like all fucking hell! And this was 11 in the morning! Fish and chips! Holy fuck but did I feel nauseaus!
Anyway, it's 15:30 now, I'm so impatient for today to END!!!!!!!!
G's place has been taken, so this evening we're going to look at a flat in another part of town. At least for a 3 months contract to look for a better place, but hopefully it'll be LOVELY and the real thing! Can't wait to go look.
Sis got a car! So exciting! A 1600 automatic Citigolf. Not sure what year it is but it's not brand new. It looks good though. Have yet to see/experience it in action, hopefully will get to soon! Dammit I MUST get my learners soon and then drivers, I want my *own* car!
I hope GI & GS arrive soon, I'm really getting overexcited impatient about them! I CAN'T WAIT!
I also can't wait for tomorrow to come, actually for it to be this time tomorrow, cos then it's just an hour and 35mins til HOLIDAYS. But still a day to go. I'm amped about Xmas eve at my place, Xmas lunch at G's parents, 2nd Xmas lunch at my place and then NY's party near W's place! YEAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! It's PARTY TIME!!
Strange how updown things are LOL! Could be due to sugar ;) I've been sipping a Just Juice so maybe that's why.
Got a physio appointment on Sat, 3rd one, my muscles are fine now but it's just to fully relax them. I seem to have a rather tense "rigid" back, I guess my muscles are stringy and tight. At least that pain has gone!
Nothing else much to write about here, am busy trying to read Thud by Terry Pratchett.
Oh god, that's something to blog about: the temp like stinky-ass food! She goes out and buys stuff that stinks like all fucking hell! And this was 11 in the morning! Fish and chips! Holy fuck but did I feel nauseaus!
Anyway, it's 15:30 now, I'm so impatient for today to END!!!!!!!!
Monday, December 18, 2006
Happy times, sad times
It's nearing the holidays, there are only 5 days (including today) til then. Then I'm on leave for 3 weeks. I need the break.
Christmas is coming! Going to have Xmas eve at my place, Xmas lunch at G's parents' place and then a 2nd Xmas lunch on 26th at my place. Cos Mom and sis are going to be at aunt+uncle and I'm going to be at G's parents, and it'd seem lousy having a no one home Xmas, so we're just having it a day later.
That's in a week's time. Xmas!
Then New Years', but I don't know what plans have been/are being made.
Mom has finally come to the realisation that Honey (our 16 year old Flabrador) is old and unhappy. But only because Honey's basically incontinent now. Sometime this week she's going to be put to sleep. I don't know how I feel about this. Despite having been upset how old and unhappy she's been, it's still sad. But I almost feel detached and unemotional. Not sure. Not nice. I won't be there, at the time. Is that a good thing? A bad thing? I don't know. I don't do these things well. Not with the pet hen, not with the budgies, not with dad, I just don't.
GI and GS should arrive soon. I haven't got a reply to my email yet.
We might have found a nice place, but it's not certain yet.
I dunno.
Christmas is coming! Going to have Xmas eve at my place, Xmas lunch at G's parents' place and then a 2nd Xmas lunch on 26th at my place. Cos Mom and sis are going to be at aunt+uncle and I'm going to be at G's parents, and it'd seem lousy having a no one home Xmas, so we're just having it a day later.
That's in a week's time. Xmas!
Then New Years', but I don't know what plans have been/are being made.
Mom has finally come to the realisation that Honey (our 16 year old Flabrador) is old and unhappy. But only because Honey's basically incontinent now. Sometime this week she's going to be put to sleep. I don't know how I feel about this. Despite having been upset how old and unhappy she's been, it's still sad. But I almost feel detached and unemotional. Not sure. Not nice. I won't be there, at the time. Is that a good thing? A bad thing? I don't know. I don't do these things well. Not with the pet hen, not with the budgies, not with dad, I just don't.
GI and GS should arrive soon. I haven't got a reply to my email yet.
We might have found a nice place, but it's not certain yet.
I dunno.
Bla
this is a very very bla day.
We didn't get that place. Some cow got their MOMMY-dearest to do a deposit in the morning, thereby basically *ensuring* she got it. Which is shit because she would have seen it AFTER us and the agent KNEW that we were interested. Shit-heads.
Felt decidedly bla anyway, despite this. So G and I went out for lunch. I went a bit late because I'd been in a meeting with bosses. They were talking to me about my new job etc and stuff. Found out about my pay increase which isn't that much but anything will do.
Got to the coffee shop only at about 13:10, and G was there already. Ordered a cappuccino and a salmon and cream cheese toasted sarmie, G ordered a coffee and an egg-burger. We waited for about half an hour, and THEN only got our coffees. Our food was delayed so we had to take it away. Thankfully the lady was very nice about it and we didn't have to pay for the food. But still. So I got to have my sarmie an hour later and a microwave-turn later so it wasn't as nice as it would have been.
That seems to be the gist of today, really. Everything so bla. Can't find any nice places online, anywhere.
Looking forward to Friday, I hope I survive that long!!
Can't wait to just go home and chill. Want to stitch. Concentrate on something like that. Therapy. Accomplishment - making it look more and more like a picture, even if it is slow.
I'm very annoyed that I haven't received any email from the Xstitch kit people. Yes, they SAY on their site that their replies to emails aren't really snappy, but still. If they've already "made payment" which they do only when it's being shipped, surely I should have had an email? Dunno. I'm so fed up.
Can this year be OVER already?!?!?!?!
We didn't get that place. Some cow got their MOMMY-dearest to do a deposit in the morning, thereby basically *ensuring* she got it. Which is shit because she would have seen it AFTER us and the agent KNEW that we were interested. Shit-heads.
Felt decidedly bla anyway, despite this. So G and I went out for lunch. I went a bit late because I'd been in a meeting with bosses. They were talking to me about my new job etc and stuff. Found out about my pay increase which isn't that much but anything will do.
Got to the coffee shop only at about 13:10, and G was there already. Ordered a cappuccino and a salmon and cream cheese toasted sarmie, G ordered a coffee and an egg-burger. We waited for about half an hour, and THEN only got our coffees. Our food was delayed so we had to take it away. Thankfully the lady was very nice about it and we didn't have to pay for the food. But still. So I got to have my sarmie an hour later and a microwave-turn later so it wasn't as nice as it would have been.
That seems to be the gist of today, really. Everything so bla. Can't find any nice places online, anywhere.
Looking forward to Friday, I hope I survive that long!!
Can't wait to just go home and chill. Want to stitch. Concentrate on something like that. Therapy. Accomplishment - making it look more and more like a picture, even if it is slow.
I'm very annoyed that I haven't received any email from the Xstitch kit people. Yes, they SAY on their site that their replies to emails aren't really snappy, but still. If they've already "made payment" which they do only when it's being shipped, surely I should have had an email? Dunno. I'm so fed up.
Can this year be OVER already?!?!?!?!
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
It feels like Friday
Today (and basically every day this week so far) has felt like a Friday. I think because it's quiet and I'm bored, and cos it's sunny outside and it feels like something big is happening soon - which it is. Office lunch, holidays. Moving place! That is going to be so exciting! Might have found a RATHER nice place quite nearby to G's current place. It's quite posh, it's got a lift, security gate/electronic gate and everything! Very nice. Probably going to go see it tomorrow, if all goes well.
G's starting the packing process. He's gotta be out by the end of the year. He doesn't have that much stuff but it'll still need packing. It's fascinating to see his stuff, particularly old photos! So cute!!!!
I'm so bored now, nothing to do. I'm sitting listening to my ipod and sending faxes right now, as well as blogging and blobbing on the Pond. NEARLY completely done with my Xmas shopping....................................
I'm so eagerly awaiting the arrival of GS and GI... the payment's been made, but I haven't had an email saying that it's being shipped. I have emailed to ask about it and am waiting for a reply... EEEEEEEEEK so exciting!!!!
Sis passed all her subject for this year/semester/study unit! YAY 'BONE!! Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!
What else do I have to blog about? Well, it's now been 4 months since G and I went on our first date!!!!!!! HAPPY 4 MONTHS, G-MAN!!!
AH SHIT MAN! My ipod battery just died! And there's still 50mins to go til hometime!!!!!!
Anyway! Now there are 38mins to go.
I'm bored again.
ZzzzzZZZzz. There are so many things I WANT to be doing but can't cos I'm stuck at work. It's so annoying!
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Friday, December 08, 2006
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Today is Thursday
It's one of those lovely drizzly days, not cold and not windy.
I love this kind of weather. Ideally I want to be in bed with hot chocolate... dozing and taking it easy.
I'm so bored. I was about to type "intensely bored" but how can boredom be intense, if it were intense it wouldn't be boredom it'd be an experience.
My eyelids feel nice and heavy now, it is after all approx 12:30. And today is a no-lunch day so BLEHHHHHH. I have to stay awake through that too!
My fish are all fine now. The 3 lone neons in the little tank are skittish but that's to be expected since they're used to lots of other fish being around them. If they look healthy enough I'm going to put them in the main tank. Only worry is whether they're just a tiny bit under-healthy and if they'd pass that on to the others. I REALLY need to do a waterchange this weekend, cos now the tank is full it has to be cleaned more regularly (once a week).
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I love this kind of weather. Ideally I want to be in bed with hot chocolate... dozing and taking it easy.
I'm so bored. I was about to type "intensely bored" but how can boredom be intense, if it were intense it wouldn't be boredom it'd be an experience.
My eyelids feel nice and heavy now, it is after all approx 12:30. And today is a no-lunch day so BLEHHHHHH. I have to stay awake through that too!
My fish are all fine now. The 3 lone neons in the little tank are skittish but that's to be expected since they're used to lots of other fish being around them. If they look healthy enough I'm going to put them in the main tank. Only worry is whether they're just a tiny bit under-healthy and if they'd pass that on to the others. I REALLY need to do a waterchange this weekend, cos now the tank is full it has to be cleaned more regularly (once a week).
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NEWS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
I got called into the boardroom during non-lunch, both the bosses wanted to see me.
Went in, nervously, cos they never really SPEAK to me like directly other than instructions etc.
In short: I'm getting a promotion, I'm gonna be hbbm's secretary, and also do some work for them too. I'm getting more to do, which is great cos I'm so bored LOL. The one said that if I WASN'T bored, they'd be rather disappointed in me! HEHE. But anyway, yeah more work and ...........MORE PAY wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ima be a secretary!!!!!!!!!!!
Wooooooooooweeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not sure of all the details, they said they're going to speak to me about it next week, they just wanted to let me know before people start coming for interviews next week cos they didn't want me to have a heart-attack!
Hehehehe wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!
Went in, nervously, cos they never really SPEAK to me like directly other than instructions etc.
In short: I'm getting a promotion, I'm gonna be hbbm's secretary, and also do some work for them too. I'm getting more to do, which is great cos I'm so bored LOL. The one said that if I WASN'T bored, they'd be rather disappointed in me! HEHE. But anyway, yeah more work and ...........MORE PAY wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ima be a secretary!!!!!!!!!!!
Wooooooooooweeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not sure of all the details, they said they're going to speak to me about it next week, they just wanted to let me know before people start coming for interviews next week cos they didn't want me to have a heart-attack!
Hehehehe wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!
Monday, December 04, 2006
Weekend wexperiences
Went shopping on Saturday morning, finished all my Xmas shopping except for 3 people. The centre was quite busy. Popped in at G's parents' place for a bit and got talked at by their parrot. Even got to scratch his neck!
Had a rather mellow Syndicate, just chilled and chatted and had pizza.
Sunday mom, sis and I were supposed to go for a drive in memory-acknowledgement of dad's birthday, but the weather was unpleasant so we couldn't. It was extremely windy and hiking/going to a look out place on a mountain wouldn't have been fun.
Dumped the black neons into the main tank, so all that're left in the little tank are the 3 neons (the 4th one died) and the kuhli loach. This time I had the energy to catch the black neons but I don't catch the kuhli loach unless there's a maximum of 10cm of water hehe. Otherwise it's impossible. The black neons settled in nicely.
Was horrified to find a packet of freeze-dried tubifex worms (fish food) had been infested by weevils. Dumped it all into the tank and the fish ate a lot of the worms! I just hope they ate the weevils too.
Supper last night was RATHER STRANGE. Mom brought crayfish and 'hotnotsvis' home with her from her holiday, and it was rather gross to see the whole fish and whole crayfish defrosting in the sink. The fish had its fins, eyes, everything. It was RATHER gross. And crayfish are just creepy anyway. Mom cooked the fish whole, so it was rather gross seeing the fish with EVERYTHING, cooked. Cooked eyes? *pukes* Mom shelled the crayfish after cooking them, but yuck, it was so ugh. And then I got to taste the crayfish a bit later, I took only a small forkful cos it REALLY DIDN'T APPEAL. Took a sniff and then took a taste: it tastes like the smell of a stinky dirty fishtank *puke puke puke puke puke!* GROSS MAN it's so gross!!!!
I so badly wish I could just go cuddle up in bed. I feel so tired and sleepy, I just want to doze and sleep and curl up and snuggle. The office closes in 14 working days' time (including the 2nd half of today and the first half of the day of our office lunch when we have to come work).
Ahhh to sleep, sleep sleep and away!
*yawns*
I think I have other news but I forgot. If I remember I will post it.
OOOH wait yes, I remember!
G put an order through for Golden Ice and Gentle Strength! I'm gonna transfer the $ back to him once they've taken it off his credit card. It's so exciting! Lemme try find a pic to paste! Ok no, I'll post pics from home.
YAY I CAN'T WAIT!!!! Can't wait yay yay yay! Still got a lot to finish on Warpy, but I'm sure it won't take THAT long. Done most of his head, still got a bit on his face to do, and then his whole neck! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Had a rather mellow Syndicate, just chilled and chatted and had pizza.
Sunday mom, sis and I were supposed to go for a drive in memory-acknowledgement of dad's birthday, but the weather was unpleasant so we couldn't. It was extremely windy and hiking/going to a look out place on a mountain wouldn't have been fun.
Dumped the black neons into the main tank, so all that're left in the little tank are the 3 neons (the 4th one died) and the kuhli loach. This time I had the energy to catch the black neons but I don't catch the kuhli loach unless there's a maximum of 10cm of water hehe. Otherwise it's impossible. The black neons settled in nicely.
Was horrified to find a packet of freeze-dried tubifex worms (fish food) had been infested by weevils. Dumped it all into the tank and the fish ate a lot of the worms! I just hope they ate the weevils too.
Supper last night was RATHER STRANGE. Mom brought crayfish and 'hotnotsvis' home with her from her holiday, and it was rather gross to see the whole fish and whole crayfish defrosting in the sink. The fish had its fins, eyes, everything. It was RATHER gross. And crayfish are just creepy anyway. Mom cooked the fish whole, so it was rather gross seeing the fish with EVERYTHING, cooked. Cooked eyes? *pukes* Mom shelled the crayfish after cooking them, but yuck, it was so ugh. And then I got to taste the crayfish a bit later, I took only a small forkful cos it REALLY DIDN'T APPEAL. Took a sniff and then took a taste: it tastes like the smell of a stinky dirty fishtank *puke puke puke puke puke!* GROSS MAN it's so gross!!!!
I so badly wish I could just go cuddle up in bed. I feel so tired and sleepy, I just want to doze and sleep and curl up and snuggle. The office closes in 14 working days' time (including the 2nd half of today and the first half of the day of our office lunch when we have to come work).
Ahhh to sleep, sleep sleep and away!
*yawns*
I think I have other news but I forgot. If I remember I will post it.
OOOH wait yes, I remember!
G put an order through for Golden Ice and Gentle Strength! I'm gonna transfer the $ back to him once they've taken it off his credit card. It's so exciting! Lemme try find a pic to paste! Ok no, I'll post pics from home.
YAY I CAN'T WAIT!!!! Can't wait yay yay yay! Still got a lot to finish on Warpy, but I'm sure it won't take THAT long. Done most of his head, still got a bit on his face to do, and then his whole neck! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Memories
Smelled something or was reminded of a smell from years ago:
It reminds me of (a) cold, miserable, rainy day at school... frozenly walking in the corridors, past the office area with staff room. The smells of coffee or tea, and biscuits. The hint of warmth, comfort on soft couches, the warmth of proper clothes. Not for us, such comfort. That's the only word I can think of, to describe it: "comfort".
Freezing in my uniform, in skirt and shirt, with stockings which don't keep the cold out. Nothing keeps the cold from going up your skirt. Wearing a jersey and blazer, which do nothing to keep your body warm. No chairs even, at breaktime. And cold water to drink, no warm drink. No food to be heated, just pre-packed sandwiches. Nothing to warm you up from the inside. Chilled to the bone. Blotchy, pale, blue skin. Frozen.
It reminds me of (a) cold, miserable, rainy day at school... frozenly walking in the corridors, past the office area with staff room. The smells of coffee or tea, and biscuits. The hint of warmth, comfort on soft couches, the warmth of proper clothes. Not for us, such comfort. That's the only word I can think of, to describe it: "comfort".
Freezing in my uniform, in skirt and shirt, with stockings which don't keep the cold out. Nothing keeps the cold from going up your skirt. Wearing a jersey and blazer, which do nothing to keep your body warm. No chairs even, at breaktime. And cold water to drink, no warm drink. No food to be heated, just pre-packed sandwiches. Nothing to warm you up from the inside. Chilled to the bone. Blotchy, pale, blue skin. Frozen.
A bad day
We've seen all the messages that say that "This happened to a friend of a relative, so I know it's true." Well, this one combines all of them into one. Delving into virtually every hoax currently circulating, the anonymous author of this gem paints the picture of a very bad day!
Subject: I know this guy...
--------------------------------
Dear Friends,
I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and he saw a note on his Mirror that said "Call 911!" But he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!"
Now, this guy knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to save us from Armageddon when the year 2000 rolls around. (By the way, it's a little known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages!) His program will prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true! I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who is also sending me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I forward the e-mail to everyone I know!!! :)
Anyway, the poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS."
Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital-the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives.
I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of X's and O's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to 10 people, you will have good luck. But, send it to less than 10 people, and you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).
So anyway, the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving along without its lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation.
So, forward this to all the friends who send you their junk mail and you will receive 4 green M&Ms. If you don't, the owner of Procter and Gamble will report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad luck, your wife will develop breast cancer from using the antiperspirant which clogged the pores under her arms, and the US government will put a tax on your emails forever!
Subject: I know this guy...
--------------------------------
Dear Friends,
I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and he saw a note on his Mirror that said "Call 911!" But he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!"
Now, this guy knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to save us from Armageddon when the year 2000 rolls around. (By the way, it's a little known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages!) His program will prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true! I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who is also sending me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I forward the e-mail to everyone I know!!! :)
Anyway, the poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS."
Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital-the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives.
I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of X's and O's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to 10 people, you will have good luck. But, send it to less than 10 people, and you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).
So anyway, the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving along without its lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation.
So, forward this to all the friends who send you their junk mail and you will receive 4 green M&Ms. If you don't, the owner of Procter and Gamble will report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad luck, your wife will develop breast cancer from using the antiperspirant which clogged the pores under her arms, and the US government will put a tax on your emails forever!
The Ultimate Chain Letter - love this and HAD to post it again!
Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion f--king chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send 'his' email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, lookyhere! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy model in the magazine! What a bunch of bullshit.
So basically, this message is a big F--K YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain, which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower, and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.
F--k them. If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the 'send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being' forwards about 90 times. I don't f--king care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.
THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
**************************************
**Chain Letter Type 1**
(scroll down)
Make a wish!!!
No, really, go on and make one!!!
Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
Wish something else!!!
Not that, you pervert!!
Is your finger getting tired yet?
STOP!!!! Wasn't that fun? :)
Hope you made a great wish :) Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it goes:
Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.
Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
**Chain Letter Type 2**
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly. Thanks again!!
**Chain Letter Type 3**
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no e-mail then and probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do. So this is how it works: Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:
Bizarre Horror Story #1: Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
Bizarre Horror Story #2: Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity. This Could Happen To You Too!!!
Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.
**Chain Letter Type 4**
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.
--Friends--
A friend is someone who is always at your side,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of shit, and your breath smells like you've been eating catfood,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a hat full of a--holes,
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad life,
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs,
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English... * no, sorry that's the cleaning lady,
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true. Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again.
**************************************
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only saviour is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Pamela. Right?
Now forward this to everyone you know, otherwise you'll find all your underwear missing tomorrow morning.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send 'his' email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, lookyhere! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy model in the magazine! What a bunch of bullshit.
So basically, this message is a big F--K YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain, which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower, and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.
F--k them. If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the 'send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being' forwards about 90 times. I don't f--king care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.
THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
**************************************
**Chain Letter Type 1**
(scroll down)
Make a wish!!!
No, really, go on and make one!!!
Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
Wish something else!!!
Not that, you pervert!!
Is your finger getting tired yet?
STOP!!!! Wasn't that fun? :)
Hope you made a great wish :) Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it goes:
Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.
Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
**Chain Letter Type 2**
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly. Thanks again!!
**Chain Letter Type 3**
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no e-mail then and probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do. So this is how it works: Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:
Bizarre Horror Story #1: Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
Bizarre Horror Story #2: Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity. This Could Happen To You Too!!!
Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.
**Chain Letter Type 4**
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.
--Friends--
A friend is someone who is always at your side,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of shit, and your breath smells like you've been eating catfood,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a hat full of a--holes,
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad life,
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs,
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English... * no, sorry that's the cleaning lady,
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true. Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again.
**************************************
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only saviour is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Pamela. Right?
Now forward this to everyone you know, otherwise you'll find all your underwear missing tomorrow morning.
Friday, December 01, 2006
Today has been boring
I have been bored. All day.
I am glad today is (nearly) finished.
I just hope that hbbm doesn't come in and want to dictate a fax/email/get me involved in some work that makes me late. I'M SO IMPATIENT to just GET OUT of here!
Tarra pplz!
Have a fun weekend y'all! Rock on, funk on, have a BLAST!!!
I am glad today is (nearly) finished.
I just hope that hbbm doesn't come in and want to dictate a fax/email/get me involved in some work that makes me late. I'M SO IMPATIENT to just GET OUT of here!
Tarra pplz!
Have a fun weekend y'all! Rock on, funk on, have a BLAST!!!
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Today was boring and bla
Ok it started well, when everything I needed to do fell into place and worked beautifully.
Then it became un-lunch time. And I was already starving by that point. Got a lunch bar and small niknaks (got the messenger to buy me some). So all I've eaten today is a bowl of cornflakes, a lunch bar and a small packet of niknaks.
I'M SO HUNGRY NOW!!!!!
G's flat-viewing curfew sucks. The traffic up from work to his place is so bad we only get there at 17:30 which is when the hordes are supposed to attack. They hardly do.
Ok but I have to run now it's nearly hometime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then it became un-lunch time. And I was already starving by that point. Got a lunch bar and small niknaks (got the messenger to buy me some). So all I've eaten today is a bowl of cornflakes, a lunch bar and a small packet of niknaks.
I'M SO HUNGRY NOW!!!!!
G's flat-viewing curfew sucks. The traffic up from work to his place is so bad we only get there at 17:30 which is when the hordes are supposed to attack. They hardly do.
Ok but I have to run now it's nearly hometime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
News and views
Stayed over at G's flat last night, and had a rather unpleasant wake-up this morning.
In that state of complete confusion you get when you are woken up by something and you can't comprehend what is going on, I woke up and there was this penetrating sound, going through my head. As I woke more I realised it was someone's car hooter that was stuck and being disturbed by it I sat up and moved the curtain aside to look out the window.
Across the garden in the parking lot outside someone's car was up in flames. The flames were 3m high or so, covering the entire car. The hooter was stuck, probably the wires had melted together. It went on and on... this unwavering, mournful note.
There were people around, possibly the car owner who was shrieking and shouting, absolutely in shock. There were some people with hoses which were rather ineffectual, seeing that their hoses weren't long and they were basically creating steam since they didn't actually go close to the car. Which is perfectly understandable because every now and then something would happen like a window broke or a tyre burst, and then the engine flamed bigger.
The hooter kept going.
Flames, flames and then smoke when the fuel tank burnt up.
Still more sounds of glass breaking, tyres bursting...
Finally, the hooter died too.
After everything seemed to have been burnt up, and the flames were digesting the well-charred body of the car, a fireman came and took charge of one of the hoses. Sprayed the flames, killed the fire.
The fire died. The fireman had taken charge and, in his hands, the hose became a thing of power, able to kill the fire that it had merely spritzed a few minutes earlier.
Disturbing, that. The whole episode. What it symbolises. A loss. Irrepairable damage. Of something seemingly so stable and reliable. A car is always there. Perhaps temperamental, sometimes or often not starting, or broken down, perhaps with a broken window smash-n-grab, but always there. Stolen is something different. Then it's just gone. But burnt to a shell... no. There is something more upsetting about that. Specially if you leave things in your car, trusting that it will be safe til next time. Drivers' licence, sunglasses, CDs, usual things a person leaves in their car.
Seeing the car shell a few hours later when looking out the window while getting ready for work... such destruction. Sabotage most likely. It was a jeep and had a canvas roof, but even so. Something had to start that.
Malice. Spite. Hatefulness.
Such incomprehensible things to someone who hasn't that kind of thought process. It's like stealing: it'd never occur to some people to steal something. They simply don't think in that way.
Mantra: streamline your life.
Leave nothing behind... but keep your precious things with you. Precious things being "fellow beings". Not saying live like a monk; take care of your possessions, but it's the people (and animals) that count.
First things I'd run in to rescue if the house was burning down: the dog+budgie, because my family would be running with me.
Good grief but this is a FUCKING DEPRESSING POST!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
OK *grins* enough of the sombreness.
Cheerful thought for today: Telkon has reduced their adsl fee, so at the end of the month I'm going to have an extra R50 left over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In that state of complete confusion you get when you are woken up by something and you can't comprehend what is going on, I woke up and there was this penetrating sound, going through my head. As I woke more I realised it was someone's car hooter that was stuck and being disturbed by it I sat up and moved the curtain aside to look out the window.
Across the garden in the parking lot outside someone's car was up in flames. The flames were 3m high or so, covering the entire car. The hooter was stuck, probably the wires had melted together. It went on and on... this unwavering, mournful note.
There were people around, possibly the car owner who was shrieking and shouting, absolutely in shock. There were some people with hoses which were rather ineffectual, seeing that their hoses weren't long and they were basically creating steam since they didn't actually go close to the car. Which is perfectly understandable because every now and then something would happen like a window broke or a tyre burst, and then the engine flamed bigger.
The hooter kept going.
Flames, flames and then smoke when the fuel tank burnt up.
Still more sounds of glass breaking, tyres bursting...
Finally, the hooter died too.
After everything seemed to have been burnt up, and the flames were digesting the well-charred body of the car, a fireman came and took charge of one of the hoses. Sprayed the flames, killed the fire.
The fire died. The fireman had taken charge and, in his hands, the hose became a thing of power, able to kill the fire that it had merely spritzed a few minutes earlier.
Disturbing, that. The whole episode. What it symbolises. A loss. Irrepairable damage. Of something seemingly so stable and reliable. A car is always there. Perhaps temperamental, sometimes or often not starting, or broken down, perhaps with a broken window smash-n-grab, but always there. Stolen is something different. Then it's just gone. But burnt to a shell... no. There is something more upsetting about that. Specially if you leave things in your car, trusting that it will be safe til next time. Drivers' licence, sunglasses, CDs, usual things a person leaves in their car.
Seeing the car shell a few hours later when looking out the window while getting ready for work... such destruction. Sabotage most likely. It was a jeep and had a canvas roof, but even so. Something had to start that.
Malice. Spite. Hatefulness.
Such incomprehensible things to someone who hasn't that kind of thought process. It's like stealing: it'd never occur to some people to steal something. They simply don't think in that way.
Mantra: streamline your life.
Leave nothing behind... but keep your precious things with you. Precious things being "fellow beings". Not saying live like a monk; take care of your possessions, but it's the people (and animals) that count.
First things I'd run in to rescue if the house was burning down: the dog+budgie, because my family would be running with me.
Good grief but this is a FUCKING DEPRESSING POST!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
OK *grins* enough of the sombreness.
Cheerful thought for today: Telkon has reduced their adsl fee, so at the end of the month I'm going to have an extra R50 left over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, November 27, 2006
Project Fishtank - Status: AWESOME!!!
Ok, I'm sitting down to snack on some Niknaks. It's 12:15 and I've been more or less busy the entire morning. Good for a change. Got to draw that map from Airport to Office, it actually looks cool but no thanks so far *rolls eyes*. I had fun drawing for a change, though.
Project fishtank update:
Yesterday morning woke to see the Congos mating. The other Congos aren't bothered, but the other fish keep close cos the falling eggs are FOOD!!!! So no chance of any baby Congos. Maybe one day I'll have a Congos/Hatchetfish-only fishtank, and they'll all breed. Not only do the little fish eat the falling eggs, but there are snails around too. And yesterday I had to do a waterchange so I'd have vacuumed up any leftover (not-yet-eaten-by-snails) eggs there.
So yes, did a waterchange. Tested the pH before putting the new water in it, and it's about 6.4. Quite acidic but it explains why they're so ready to mate: tetras like acidic water for mating. Teehee.
I also used a scourer-type thing to clean the algae off the glass. Not much build-up, but it DID make a difference.
After doing all that, and setting it all going again, I took the glowlights and the lone rummynose from the tiny-tank and put them in the big tank. The lone rummynose is a bit bigger than the other 4, but after a while (he? she?) settled right in as one of the shoal and got his/her bright red nose back - rummys' noses go pale when they're not happy. Originally in the big tank there WAS another rummynose, but that one also seems to have gone to fish-heaven. One day it was looking a bit sickly, the next day it's gone without a trace! I've looked everywhere for it, there is simply no sign of it whatsoever.
The glowlights settled in happily.
The black neons in the little tank are all healthy, I just didn't feel like catching them last night as they are RATHER frisky and damn difficult to catch!!!!!
The kuhli loach will mostly likely LOVE the big tank but he is also a bugger to catch.
The neons however, might be a problem. The one is looking a bit sickly (possibly age or neon tetra disease - probably will die soon), and the other has some strange cyst/growth under its eye. The other two look ok but I don't want to put those in the big tank like that.
But anyway, the tank is looking SO GORGEOUS!!!! Everything is working now, the only "problem" is that some of the plants keep uprooting themselves. A lot of the plants died off, but the ones that haven't are going strong. Perhaps I will go buy more of those plants seeing as they are successful. Not sure, don't really want to go to the aquarium shop anytime soon in case I am tempted to buy some more fish!! Although, maybe I should, seeing as I want to look into a water hardness testkit, and nitrate/nitrite/ammonia level test kits. Things like that.
AAAAAAAAAAAh it's looking GORGEOUS! Will post pics when I remember to take photos!!
Another thing that's coming along is WARPONY! I've been stitching a bit lately and it's coming along. I'm really amped about it now and hope to finish the right half (Warpy's face) before the end of the year. The left half (his neck) seems simpler, it seems to be bigger patches of single colours compared to the confettiyish face!
Te's somewhere in USA now, haven't heard from her yet, I hope to see her online soon! Hope you had a FANTASTIQUE trip!!!
It's already nearly 13:00. Oh yay, the temp who usually sits for me on a Monday has gone off sick. Yay. So today is a no-lunch Monday. At least today's gone fast so this afternoon should too. YAY. And, I have the Pond and other things to keep me entertained hehe!
Damn, if only work was quiet enough for me to stitch, or hell, even study the learners' book. Damn! That's something I've been pushing aside for a while!
Ok, things To Do this week include: tidy my desk and sort out all those papers!!! Make various payments. Stitch. Get last few people's Christmas gifts. Look into the learners' license thing *looks sheepish*
I love summer. The warm air, basically not being cold. I'm really enjoying wearing short sleeves without going blue and having bits fall off from frostbite!
YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! Isn't it amazing what ENOUGH SLEEP can do for a person? YAY!!!!! Caught up on sleep Friday night. YAY!!!
Project fishtank update:
Yesterday morning woke to see the Congos mating. The other Congos aren't bothered, but the other fish keep close cos the falling eggs are FOOD!!!! So no chance of any baby Congos. Maybe one day I'll have a Congos/Hatchetfish-only fishtank, and they'll all breed. Not only do the little fish eat the falling eggs, but there are snails around too. And yesterday I had to do a waterchange so I'd have vacuumed up any leftover (not-yet-eaten-by-snails) eggs there.
So yes, did a waterchange. Tested the pH before putting the new water in it, and it's about 6.4. Quite acidic but it explains why they're so ready to mate: tetras like acidic water for mating. Teehee.
I also used a scourer-type thing to clean the algae off the glass. Not much build-up, but it DID make a difference.
After doing all that, and setting it all going again, I took the glowlights and the lone rummynose from the tiny-tank and put them in the big tank. The lone rummynose is a bit bigger than the other 4, but after a while (he? she?) settled right in as one of the shoal and got his/her bright red nose back - rummys' noses go pale when they're not happy. Originally in the big tank there WAS another rummynose, but that one also seems to have gone to fish-heaven. One day it was looking a bit sickly, the next day it's gone without a trace! I've looked everywhere for it, there is simply no sign of it whatsoever.
The glowlights settled in happily.
The black neons in the little tank are all healthy, I just didn't feel like catching them last night as they are RATHER frisky and damn difficult to catch!!!!!
The kuhli loach will mostly likely LOVE the big tank but he is also a bugger to catch.
The neons however, might be a problem. The one is looking a bit sickly (possibly age or neon tetra disease - probably will die soon), and the other has some strange cyst/growth under its eye. The other two look ok but I don't want to put those in the big tank like that.
But anyway, the tank is looking SO GORGEOUS!!!! Everything is working now, the only "problem" is that some of the plants keep uprooting themselves. A lot of the plants died off, but the ones that haven't are going strong. Perhaps I will go buy more of those plants seeing as they are successful. Not sure, don't really want to go to the aquarium shop anytime soon in case I am tempted to buy some more fish!! Although, maybe I should, seeing as I want to look into a water hardness testkit, and nitrate/nitrite/ammonia level test kits. Things like that.
AAAAAAAAAAAh it's looking GORGEOUS! Will post pics when I remember to take photos!!
Another thing that's coming along is WARPONY! I've been stitching a bit lately and it's coming along. I'm really amped about it now and hope to finish the right half (Warpy's face) before the end of the year. The left half (his neck) seems simpler, it seems to be bigger patches of single colours compared to the confettiyish face!
Te's somewhere in USA now, haven't heard from her yet, I hope to see her online soon! Hope you had a FANTASTIQUE trip!!!
It's already nearly 13:00. Oh yay, the temp who usually sits for me on a Monday has gone off sick. Yay. So today is a no-lunch Monday. At least today's gone fast so this afternoon should too. YAY. And, I have the Pond and other things to keep me entertained hehe!
Damn, if only work was quiet enough for me to stitch, or hell, even study the learners' book. Damn! That's something I've been pushing aside for a while!
Ok, things To Do this week include: tidy my desk and sort out all those papers!!! Make various payments. Stitch. Get last few people's Christmas gifts. Look into the learners' license thing *looks sheepish*
I love summer. The warm air, basically not being cold. I'm really enjoying wearing short sleeves without going blue and having bits fall off from frostbite!
YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! Isn't it amazing what ENOUGH SLEEP can do for a person? YAY!!!!! Caught up on sleep Friday night. YAY!!!
For the record
I am no good when I am hungry.
I am hungry now.
I am tetchy now.
ARRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am hungry now.
I am tetchy now.
ARRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, November 24, 2006
It's Friday but
I don't feel like people.
I want nothing to do with them. Today. People. Public. Colleagues.
Friends are exempt.
My whole being is saying "uhhhhh". I want to be in bed for at least another 10 hours. By then I should have regained use of my arms O_o
Ok, it's IPOD TIME!!! At work, it's quiet *checks the phone to make sure it's not switched off?!* it's friday and I WANT MUSIC!!!!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>CHEMICAL BROTHERS YEAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Ok anyway. Yeah I've been feeling a bit bla lately, I *think* I know why (roughly) but I haven't sat down and processed it and thought about it to put it all into order so I can think it through from start to finish and find what is ACTUALLY bugging me. I think pms/moodiness might be making me feel a little more bleh but it wouldn't be at all connected hehe!
A lot of things are bugging me, I think mainly with regards to "home" affairs. Things I wish weren't the way they are.
Been a rather stressful week, but I was brave and got through everything I had to. Let me not speak too soon, as it's only 09:25 ... but I'm holding thumbs. Nearly went postal a few times, I HATE PEOPLE WHO DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT GIVING OTHER PEOPLE BASIC RESPECT. Example: people who PHONE or BUZZ THE FUCKING DOOR, and ARE BUSY MAKING ANOTHER CALL AT THE SAME GODDAMN TIME! Dammit, that's FUCKING RUDE! I'm supposed to KNOW who it is from the mumbles, grunts and general unwords you are making into your phone?? fuck off!!!!
Ok, I'm breathing. I *was* breathing on that occasion too, ok admittedly rather forcedly because I was trying hard not to burst out with a loud "FUCKER!!"
There are 20 working days til our offices close. I am counting. Apparently our office lunch is on the 15th, but I don't remember where. Hopefully not somewhere FAR cos that's a pain, living far from work already! Although I have been experiencing the joys of living close to work lately which is fantastic! Ahhh an HOUR'S extra sleep! An HOUR extra to DO stuff in, in the evening!!! Bring it ON!!!!
Ok I think I'll stop blethering on now...................
*yawnwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww*
I want nothing to do with them. Today. People. Public. Colleagues.
Friends are exempt.
My whole being is saying "uhhhhh". I want to be in bed for at least another 10 hours. By then I should have regained use of my arms O_o
Ok, it's IPOD TIME!!! At work, it's quiet *checks the phone to make sure it's not switched off?!* it's friday and I WANT MUSIC!!!!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>CHEMICAL BROTHERS YEAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Ok anyway. Yeah I've been feeling a bit bla lately, I *think* I know why (roughly) but I haven't sat down and processed it and thought about it to put it all into order so I can think it through from start to finish and find what is ACTUALLY bugging me. I think pms/moodiness might be making me feel a little more bleh but it wouldn't be at all connected hehe!
A lot of things are bugging me, I think mainly with regards to "home" affairs. Things I wish weren't the way they are.
Been a rather stressful week, but I was brave and got through everything I had to. Let me not speak too soon, as it's only 09:25 ... but I'm holding thumbs. Nearly went postal a few times, I HATE PEOPLE WHO DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT GIVING OTHER PEOPLE BASIC RESPECT. Example: people who PHONE or BUZZ THE FUCKING DOOR, and ARE BUSY MAKING ANOTHER CALL AT THE SAME GODDAMN TIME! Dammit, that's FUCKING RUDE! I'm supposed to KNOW who it is from the mumbles, grunts and general unwords you are making into your phone?? fuck off!!!!
Ok, I'm breathing. I *was* breathing on that occasion too, ok admittedly rather forcedly because I was trying hard not to burst out with a loud "FUCKER!!"
There are 20 working days til our offices close. I am counting. Apparently our office lunch is on the 15th, but I don't remember where. Hopefully not somewhere FAR cos that's a pain, living far from work already! Although I have been experiencing the joys of living close to work lately which is fantastic! Ahhh an HOUR'S extra sleep! An HOUR extra to DO stuff in, in the evening!!! Bring it ON!!!!
Ok I think I'll stop blethering on now...................
*yawnwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww*
And it's not yet hometime
Yes, I know
enough of the bitching and moaning already?
YES I wish so too, but UNfortunately, things just DON'T want to piss the hell off and leave me alone in my swampy, rubbishy mood so that I can recover.
Piss off@you who buzzes the door multiple times because I don't answer immediately. I have such a thing as a TELEPHONE to answer, you know? Oh sorry, right, you DON'T know, since people like you exist in a higher plane and don't know of the world of the LOWER people because they are provided solely for your comfort and service.
Another stupid f***ing task for the day/weekend. "I need you to draw me up a map from Johannesburg international airport to our offices" (offices being in CT CBD). "ok... Johannesburg airport?" "no... (insert 'are-you-stupid' facial expression here) Cape Town".
O...K...
So this weekend I have to draw a map for someone (not the boss) who MORE THAN LIKELY has access to the internet. Or can get to a bloody newsagent and pick up a "map book". One of those endlessly useful things which shows you almost the entire place, so that you don't have to WASTE other people's time.
Uhh.
Right-o. Not that I can DRIVE or KNOW the area very well, living on the tail-end of the country, or anything. Fine.
At least this SHOULD go a little better than the last task. I can't remember whether I blogged about it or not.
I'm pissed off enough to go into it again, because I heard the result of that work.
Instructions: friends are coming from Namibia, they want a self catering place for 2 people between 11 and 17th November, no meals whatsoever, as close to Bishops school as possible.
What that entailed: searching online for selfcatering places in Rondebosch, which came to 20+, and phoning them all to find out availability and rates. 9 were available. That whole exercise took hours.
Gave the info, which boss came back to tell me to scan in and email, which I did NOT get to do cos I nearly passed out from stomach ache but that's besides the point. A) the scanner is upstairs which means I'd have to phone someone to come take my position while I am upstairs, and B) I do not have their email address. They are BOSS'S friends. Anyway, he took it back when I phoned him to get the instructions again cos I didn't remember them cos I'd been nearly passing out.
Colleague tells me about a phone conversation she heard: turns out, these people have friends in Stellenbosch that they're going to be staying at, AND it was ACTUALLY for December and not November.
Gee thanks. Oh and I didn't get a thank-you for phoning all day.
What pissed me off the most about that? They are in Namibia. They OBVIOUSLY have access to the internet (cos boss was going to email it to them), so why the HELL couldn't they have just done EXACTLY what I had to do? Search for places online, seeing as they would know precisely what type of thing they are looking for.
UHH!!!
Ok yes this is a rant. Unedited rant.
It's my blog so nananananaaaanaaaaaaaaaaa! Ok only teasing about the nananananaaanaaa bit.
But yes, I'm quite peeved, it's always little SHIT things like this.
I really need a holiday. At the moment I despise all numbers and letters. The only things I like right now are emoticons and ipods. Ipods that block out the world. Oh and a comfy bed to sit and stitch on. With a boyperson who has a constant supply of hugs. And treats.
It's now 16:17 and I am hoping that the day won't dump more crap on me. It's had plenty of time to do that and I think it'd be kind not to. Thanks
enough of the bitching and moaning already?
YES I wish so too, but UNfortunately, things just DON'T want to piss the hell off and leave me alone in my swampy, rubbishy mood so that I can recover.
Piss off@you who buzzes the door multiple times because I don't answer immediately. I have such a thing as a TELEPHONE to answer, you know? Oh sorry, right, you DON'T know, since people like you exist in a higher plane and don't know of the world of the LOWER people because they are provided solely for your comfort and service.
Another stupid f***ing task for the day/weekend. "I need you to draw me up a map from Johannesburg international airport to our offices" (offices being in CT CBD). "ok... Johannesburg airport?" "no... (insert 'are-you-stupid' facial expression here) Cape Town".
O...K...
So this weekend I have to draw a map for someone (not the boss) who MORE THAN LIKELY has access to the internet. Or can get to a bloody newsagent and pick up a "map book". One of those endlessly useful things which shows you almost the entire place, so that you don't have to WASTE other people's time.
Uhh.
Right-o. Not that I can DRIVE or KNOW the area very well, living on the tail-end of the country, or anything. Fine.
At least this SHOULD go a little better than the last task. I can't remember whether I blogged about it or not.
I'm pissed off enough to go into it again, because I heard the result of that work.
Instructions: friends are coming from Namibia, they want a self catering place for 2 people between 11 and 17th November, no meals whatsoever, as close to Bishops school as possible.
What that entailed: searching online for selfcatering places in Rondebosch, which came to 20+, and phoning them all to find out availability and rates. 9 were available. That whole exercise took hours.
Gave the info, which boss came back to tell me to scan in and email, which I did NOT get to do cos I nearly passed out from stomach ache but that's besides the point. A) the scanner is upstairs which means I'd have to phone someone to come take my position while I am upstairs, and B) I do not have their email address. They are BOSS'S friends. Anyway, he took it back when I phoned him to get the instructions again cos I didn't remember them cos I'd been nearly passing out.
Colleague tells me about a phone conversation she heard: turns out, these people have friends in Stellenbosch that they're going to be staying at, AND it was ACTUALLY for December and not November.
Gee thanks. Oh and I didn't get a thank-you for phoning all day.
What pissed me off the most about that? They are in Namibia. They OBVIOUSLY have access to the internet (cos boss was going to email it to them), so why the HELL couldn't they have just done EXACTLY what I had to do? Search for places online, seeing as they would know precisely what type of thing they are looking for.
UHH!!!
Ok yes this is a rant. Unedited rant.
It's my blog so nananananaaaanaaaaaaaaaaa! Ok only teasing about the nananananaaanaaa bit.
But yes, I'm quite peeved, it's always little SHIT things like this.
I really need a holiday. At the moment I despise all numbers and letters. The only things I like right now are emoticons and ipods. Ipods that block out the world. Oh and a comfy bed to sit and stitch on. With a boyperson who has a constant supply of hugs. And treats.
It's now 16:17 and I am hoping that the day won't dump more crap on me. It's had plenty of time to do that and I think it'd be kind not to. Thanks
Saturday, November 18, 2006
People past
I'm sitting in the dining room typing this on my laptop. I can hear my budgie scratching at the bottom of his cage. If I (loudly) call his name he chirps and jumps up onto the perch and I have his attention. He has a large enough personality to fill up the lounge and dining room, even the whole house. All of the house except for my room.
I find myself walking to my room, expecting to be greeted by the other budgie who lived in my room. She isn't there anymore, hasn't been for quite a while now, but it's funny how you miss someone in little flashes of memory, or rather "expected" memory. It's the expectation that I will hear her chirp at me that makes me miss her. I think it is the same with people too. I miss our dog too, at times, even though she is still alive. She is painfully old. She isn't the same anymore, since she got old. And I miss how she used to be.
It's a thing that I guess is an auto-response, a self-protection mechanism - remembering something/someone how they (usually) were instead of how they were before it ended. Somehow less upsetting like that, when it comes to things that really meant a lot to you.
I guess it's not only about people but experiences too. Things that you did in the past. You kinda forget the nitty gritty hard work that went into it, and remember the (happy) overall feeling you got from it. Helping out with the Treasure oil spill of 2000, well, it was shitty and stinky and dirty and cold and wet and disgusting and exhausting and FILTHY and despite all that, there is a feeling of accomplishment, of having taken part. You amusedly remember the difficulty of trying to feed an unhungry penguin.
What has this to do with people past? Nothing, as far as I can tell. I just had those on my mind now and wanted to put them down in text.
I find myself walking to my room, expecting to be greeted by the other budgie who lived in my room. She isn't there anymore, hasn't been for quite a while now, but it's funny how you miss someone in little flashes of memory, or rather "expected" memory. It's the expectation that I will hear her chirp at me that makes me miss her. I think it is the same with people too. I miss our dog too, at times, even though she is still alive. She is painfully old. She isn't the same anymore, since she got old. And I miss how she used to be.
It's a thing that I guess is an auto-response, a self-protection mechanism - remembering something/someone how they (usually) were instead of how they were before it ended. Somehow less upsetting like that, when it comes to things that really meant a lot to you.
I guess it's not only about people but experiences too. Things that you did in the past. You kinda forget the nitty gritty hard work that went into it, and remember the (happy) overall feeling you got from it. Helping out with the Treasure oil spill of 2000, well, it was shitty and stinky and dirty and cold and wet and disgusting and exhausting and FILTHY and despite all that, there is a feeling of accomplishment, of having taken part. You amusedly remember the difficulty of trying to feed an unhungry penguin.
What has this to do with people past? Nothing, as far as I can tell. I just had those on my mind now and wanted to put them down in text.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Friday - frivolously, frazzledly, fatiguedly, finally Friday
Yeehaaa!! Is it nearly weekend or is it nearly weekend! (don't answer! I don't want to hear that it's only 9:15 ok? Don't burst my leetle cheerful bubbil)
For the first time since I've known G, all 4 of the band members were together at bandpractice!!! I wasn't there though, I had stuff to catch up with at home, but yeah, ROCK ON!!
It's strange how when you are dating someone your life becomes busier. Not only do you still have YOUR commitments like regular meetups with friends and time-consuming chores for example, he has his too. So you're both doing BOTH (or accompanying the other) on that, AND then there are so many things that you want to do together AS well, like go out together, have fun, all that jazz. So you're twice (or three times?) as busy as you were before! Which is quite strange since because you're dating someone, you WANT to do more things together OTHER than chores/commitments to other people but you basically have less time to!!
There are now 5 weeks on the dot til the office closes. So much to do before Christmas, the madness is now starting. Gotta sort out gifts for everyone, which is no mean feat. Specially when some of the stuff is to be posted!!!
Thought for the day: I want to sleep. Now.
For the first time since I've known G, all 4 of the band members were together at bandpractice!!! I wasn't there though, I had stuff to catch up with at home, but yeah, ROCK ON!!
It's strange how when you are dating someone your life becomes busier. Not only do you still have YOUR commitments like regular meetups with friends and time-consuming chores for example, he has his too. So you're both doing BOTH (or accompanying the other) on that, AND then there are so many things that you want to do together AS well, like go out together, have fun, all that jazz. So you're twice (or three times?) as busy as you were before! Which is quite strange since because you're dating someone, you WANT to do more things together OTHER than chores/commitments to other people but you basically have less time to!!
There are now 5 weeks on the dot til the office closes. So much to do before Christmas, the madness is now starting. Gotta sort out gifts for everyone, which is no mean feat. Specially when some of the stuff is to be posted!!!
Thought for the day: I want to sleep. Now.
Sorry folks, more craigslist... but where does this list end?!?!?
Today's Rant-People Who Have a Complete Inability to Leave a Voicemail
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2004-02-17, 11:31AM PST
I have a genuine question. Please help me understand why today's business callers REFUSE to leave a voicemail for their intended caller. I'm a receptionist/operator for a large company, and I would hazard to guess that 90% of the calls that I take, the caller will call back immediately when they get a person's voicemail. Invariably the tirade goes, "YOU (rude, accusatory tone accompanies) transferred me to an ANSWERING MACHINE (how dare you, horrid slut!)! I want to talk to a human being, NOW!" Now the thing is, if a person is out for the day, and I know it to be a fact, I state that at the time of the call, "So-and-so is out today, would you like to leave a voicemail?" (said waaaaaay too nicely for the motherfuckers that call in). If I don't say that little phrase, that means the person is here, SOMEWHERE in the big giant building. If they don't pick up your "emergency" call, let's use our imagination and think of some reasons why they aren't picking up the phone: 1. They are pissing/shitting/puking/jerking off in the bathroom 2. They are on another call (ooo, shock horror, you [caller] aren't the only person in this big wide world!) 3. They are in a meeting 4. They are getting coffee 5. They are bullshitting in someone else's office 6. They are getting files or supplies or a blow job in the copy room 7. They are outside smoking 8. They are concentrating on a project and don't want to be disturbed 9. They are IGNORING YOU. Because as it is clear, you are a horrible person Whatever reason you want to choose, they didn't pick up your call. That's why voicemail is such a great invention. You leave all your pertinent shit, and someone will magically call you back. That is, if you wait for longer than FIVE FUCKING MINUTES. No, I'm not going to get up and traverse this giant building to find Mr. Smith, who's in the bathroom masturbating and probably thinking about me. "Excuse me, Mr. Smith, please remove your hand from your dick and get out of the bathroom. Mrs. Jones just absolutely must know when her carpet sample will arrive. Be a dear and take this call. Let me go get a cordless phone so you can take the call right there in the stall. Thanks!" I don't know where Mr. Johnson is. I don't know why he hasn't called you back, or when he's going to call you back, or why he's never in the office, or why he thinks mauve is a fabulous color. I'm the operator. I don't know what kind of granite slab is the best. Don't yell at me because I'm the only person you can get on the phone. Do you realize I'm not the owner of the business? I'm the absolute lowest person on the totem pole. There is no one under me. I cannot make anyone here do anything, no matter how loud you yell at me or what names you call me. No, I'm not going to take down a written message - THAT'S WHAT VOICEMAIL IS FOR. So I don't have to do that. The person will get a voicemail lightyears before I will ever see them to give them a message. No I'm not going to "yell down the hall" for them. LEAVE A G-DAMN, MOTHERFUCKING VOICEMAIL. The thing is, if you treated me with even an ounce of human dignity, I would probably bend over backwards to try and help you in the meager ways I can. But since you are a hag bitch, I will keep transferring you to voicemail. I have a way to connect you to direct voicemail so even if the person is there and able to take your call, the phone won't ring and your call will go straight into the voicemail system. So be nice to me.
24576397
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Date: 2004-02-17, 11:31AM PST
I have a genuine question. Please help me understand why today's business callers REFUSE to leave a voicemail for their intended caller. I'm a receptionist/operator for a large company, and I would hazard to guess that 90% of the calls that I take, the caller will call back immediately when they get a person's voicemail. Invariably the tirade goes, "YOU (rude, accusatory tone accompanies) transferred me to an ANSWERING MACHINE (how dare you, horrid slut!)! I want to talk to a human being, NOW!" Now the thing is, if a person is out for the day, and I know it to be a fact, I state that at the time of the call, "So-and-so is out today, would you like to leave a voicemail?" (said waaaaaay too nicely for the motherfuckers that call in). If I don't say that little phrase, that means the person is here, SOMEWHERE in the big giant building. If they don't pick up your "emergency" call, let's use our imagination and think of some reasons why they aren't picking up the phone: 1. They are pissing/shitting/puking/jerking off in the bathroom 2. They are on another call (ooo, shock horror, you [caller] aren't the only person in this big wide world!) 3. They are in a meeting 4. They are getting coffee 5. They are bullshitting in someone else's office 6. They are getting files or supplies or a blow job in the copy room 7. They are outside smoking 8. They are concentrating on a project and don't want to be disturbed 9. They are IGNORING YOU. Because as it is clear, you are a horrible person Whatever reason you want to choose, they didn't pick up your call. That's why voicemail is such a great invention. You leave all your pertinent shit, and someone will magically call you back. That is, if you wait for longer than FIVE FUCKING MINUTES. No, I'm not going to get up and traverse this giant building to find Mr. Smith, who's in the bathroom masturbating and probably thinking about me. "Excuse me, Mr. Smith, please remove your hand from your dick and get out of the bathroom. Mrs. Jones just absolutely must know when her carpet sample will arrive. Be a dear and take this call. Let me go get a cordless phone so you can take the call right there in the stall. Thanks!" I don't know where Mr. Johnson is. I don't know why he hasn't called you back, or when he's going to call you back, or why he's never in the office, or why he thinks mauve is a fabulous color. I'm the operator. I don't know what kind of granite slab is the best. Don't yell at me because I'm the only person you can get on the phone. Do you realize I'm not the owner of the business? I'm the absolute lowest person on the totem pole. There is no one under me. I cannot make anyone here do anything, no matter how loud you yell at me or what names you call me. No, I'm not going to take down a written message - THAT'S WHAT VOICEMAIL IS FOR. So I don't have to do that. The person will get a voicemail lightyears before I will ever see them to give them a message. No I'm not going to "yell down the hall" for them. LEAVE A G-DAMN, MOTHERFUCKING VOICEMAIL. The thing is, if you treated me with even an ounce of human dignity, I would probably bend over backwards to try and help you in the meager ways I can. But since you are a hag bitch, I will keep transferring you to voicemail. I have a way to connect you to direct voicemail so even if the person is there and able to take your call, the phone won't ring and your call will go straight into the voicemail system. So be nice to me.
24576397
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Life thoughts
Was chatting with an overseas friend's hubby, she recently had a baby and he was talking about "paternity leave", and he was saying (complaining?) that he wanted to take leave a little while later because he wasn't getting any rest and stuff so it wasn't like proper leave. I can't speak for other countries, but here in SA, there is no such thing as paternity leave. I suggested to him that he enjoy the time off.
Was asked a strange question by him, along the lines of "do you like children", but I hadn't a chance to reply to that when he laughed and said it was a silly question. He then went on to say that it is obvious that I would, apart from being a woman and it being my role in the world to carry it (a baby).
Basically he was telling me that I'm only on this earth so that I can pop babies out for some guy somewhere who decides I'm the one that should bear his burden and give birth to it?
Ok yes I agree that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and all that, but it's shit enough that your OWN BODY is convinced that that is your sole purpose in life without other (male?!) people telling me that that's my role in the world.
Ok sure, it's an opinion, along with things along the lines of "you will burn in hell for not believing in God!!" but hello, you have a choice not to pray if you don't believe in God.
My thoughts on the kids/no kids matter: I will have kids when I and I alone am ready. I cannot say whether I will or won't want; at this stage I do not want any. It depends on how I feel, when I am ready. I believe that the readiness to have kids comes about when you have such a close bond with your partner that you want to share such a thing with them. The lack of an urge to procreate doesn't mean you don't feel that way. It just means that you don't want kids. It's a personal choice.
No one can tell you to have kids, it is ultimately YOU who will have to deal with the results for the rest of your life. The people who pressured you won't be affected at all by your having kids.
It's YOUR life.
Was asked a strange question by him, along the lines of "do you like children", but I hadn't a chance to reply to that when he laughed and said it was a silly question. He then went on to say that it is obvious that I would, apart from being a woman and it being my role in the world to carry it (a baby).
Basically he was telling me that I'm only on this earth so that I can pop babies out for some guy somewhere who decides I'm the one that should bear his burden and give birth to it?
Ok yes I agree that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and all that, but it's shit enough that your OWN BODY is convinced that that is your sole purpose in life without other (male?!) people telling me that that's my role in the world.
Ok sure, it's an opinion, along with things along the lines of "you will burn in hell for not believing in God!!" but hello, you have a choice not to pray if you don't believe in God.
My thoughts on the kids/no kids matter: I will have kids when I and I alone am ready. I cannot say whether I will or won't want; at this stage I do not want any. It depends on how I feel, when I am ready. I believe that the readiness to have kids comes about when you have such a close bond with your partner that you want to share such a thing with them. The lack of an urge to procreate doesn't mean you don't feel that way. It just means that you don't want kids. It's a personal choice.
No one can tell you to have kids, it is ultimately YOU who will have to deal with the results for the rest of your life. The people who pressured you won't be affected at all by your having kids.
It's YOUR life.
Awww this is SO CUTE! (still craigslist)
Why Geeks and Nerds Are Worth It...
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Date: 2005-04-03, 9:30PM PDT
In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner typing away on his laptop? The following are reasons why I think my fellow females should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less attention to the flashy boys.
1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they’re well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are... plus, I’ve never had a geek guy not call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE.
2.) They’re useful. In this tech-savvy world, it’s great to have a b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself.
3.) They’re more romantic than they’re given credit for. Ok true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such... but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends.
4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like ‘em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like ‘em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.
5.) They’ve got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing?
6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it’ll make you happy. Due again to their neglected status, they’re more attentive than guys who “have more options”. Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they’ll likely have mental lists of all the things they’d love to do once they GOT a girlfriend.
7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I’m not really familiar with this myself, but I’ve friends who’ve been intimate with geek guys and it’s raves all around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra... all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all) coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination.
8.) They’re relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you’re not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza?
9.) Most frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You won’t have to worry much about your geek guy getting his “groove” on with club hotties because, frankly, he’ll be too busy rooting around under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won’t have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10 times, he’ll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest electronics store. I’ve seen this happen.
Me: “Eww. Victoria Secret’s Models... They’re so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!”
Geek Guy: “ooooooo...”
Me: “Hey!” *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store*
Geek Guy: “What?”
Me: “Never mind...”
10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can arrange swaps, as in, you’ll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf princess if he’ll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn’t want to go someplace with you, you won’t have to worry much about what he’s up to. You’ll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It’s ok. He’s used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light.
11.) His friends aren’t jerks. I can’t stress this enough. You’ll more likely get “Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!” than “Hey hot stuff back that ass up here and let me get some grub on...” They’re awkward geeks too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and, more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code... a geek can dream).
12.) They’re rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty t-shirt for comfort? He won’t care. He does too! They won’t get pissy if you don’t wear make-up or don’t want to bother primping your hair. If you gain a few pounds, they won’t try their best to make you feel like crap.
13.) They’re usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like. See #5. You won’t have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok maybe a little), he’ll have loads of other interesting things to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce...
14.) You’ll almost never have to hear, “Yaw dawg whazzap!!” plop out of their mouths. Unless it’s in jest. They spell properly, use correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and the floor. They almost never get “wasted”, so you won’t have to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps...
15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends: They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look (though that’s a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than “DaMN baby you got a fine ass!!!” Believe me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2005-04-03, 9:30PM PDT
In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner typing away on his laptop? The following are reasons why I think my fellow females should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less attention to the flashy boys.
1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they’re well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are... plus, I’ve never had a geek guy not call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE.
2.) They’re useful. In this tech-savvy world, it’s great to have a b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself.
3.) They’re more romantic than they’re given credit for. Ok true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such... but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends.
4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like ‘em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like ‘em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.
5.) They’ve got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing?
6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it’ll make you happy. Due again to their neglected status, they’re more attentive than guys who “have more options”. Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they’ll likely have mental lists of all the things they’d love to do once they GOT a girlfriend.
7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I’m not really familiar with this myself, but I’ve friends who’ve been intimate with geek guys and it’s raves all around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra... all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all) coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination.
8.) They’re relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you’re not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza?
9.) Most frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You won’t have to worry much about your geek guy getting his “groove” on with club hotties because, frankly, he’ll be too busy rooting around under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won’t have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10 times, he’ll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest electronics store. I’ve seen this happen.
Me: “Eww. Victoria Secret’s Models... They’re so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!”
Geek Guy: “ooooooo...”
Me: “Hey!” *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store*
Geek Guy: “What?”
Me: “Never mind...”
10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can arrange swaps, as in, you’ll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf princess if he’ll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn’t want to go someplace with you, you won’t have to worry much about what he’s up to. You’ll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It’s ok. He’s used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light.
11.) His friends aren’t jerks. I can’t stress this enough. You’ll more likely get “Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!” than “Hey hot stuff back that ass up here and let me get some grub on...” They’re awkward geeks too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and, more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code... a geek can dream).
12.) They’re rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty t-shirt for comfort? He won’t care. He does too! They won’t get pissy if you don’t wear make-up or don’t want to bother primping your hair. If you gain a few pounds, they won’t try their best to make you feel like crap.
13.) They’re usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like. See #5. You won’t have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok maybe a little), he’ll have loads of other interesting things to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce...
14.) You’ll almost never have to hear, “Yaw dawg whazzap!!” plop out of their mouths. Unless it’s in jest. They spell properly, use correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and the floor. They almost never get “wasted”, so you won’t have to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps...
15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends: They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look (though that’s a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than “DaMN baby you got a fine ass!!!” Believe me.
HAHAHAHAHAH
Give me back my STAPLER.
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Date: 2005-04-08, 9:20AM PDT
I keep a stapler on my desk. It is black and silver. The stapler is labeled with my name in three separate places -- including the inside stapler reservoir where nobody would think to look. I have made it clear that NO ONE is allowed to touch my stapler. All of the other staplers in this office are old, worthless pieces of shit. I went to Office Max and bought my own special stapler. I spent over thirty dollars on my stapler.
This morning I came in to find my stapler missing. Some WORTHLESS piece of GARBAGE came into MY office and FUCKING STOLE my stapler. For the past hour, I have been going from office to office, demanding the return my stapler. I have sent out five emails this morning, demanding the return of my stapler. I am very upset. People are telling me to "calm down". But people should know my stapler is very important to me. My secretary tried to calm me down by offering my a different stapler. I grabbed the piece of shit stapler from her fat little hands. I slammed the stapler against my brick office wall multiple times. I screamed "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE MY FUCKING STAPLER? DOES IT!? DOES IT!? I DIDN'T THINK SO!!" I think she went to human resources to complain but I don't care. I have been fantasizing about what I will do to the person who took my stapler. If they like my stapler so much than I'm sure they won't mind when I staple their eyelids and nostrils together. It is a very heavy-duty stapler and I am confident in its ability to securely staple flesh.
Give me back my stapler. It's not funny (at all). I know you probably read this board. Asshole.
-gordon
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Date: 2005-04-08, 9:20AM PDT
I keep a stapler on my desk. It is black and silver. The stapler is labeled with my name in three separate places -- including the inside stapler reservoir where nobody would think to look. I have made it clear that NO ONE is allowed to touch my stapler. All of the other staplers in this office are old, worthless pieces of shit. I went to Office Max and bought my own special stapler. I spent over thirty dollars on my stapler.
This morning I came in to find my stapler missing. Some WORTHLESS piece of GARBAGE came into MY office and FUCKING STOLE my stapler. For the past hour, I have been going from office to office, demanding the return my stapler. I have sent out five emails this morning, demanding the return of my stapler. I am very upset. People are telling me to "calm down". But people should know my stapler is very important to me. My secretary tried to calm me down by offering my a different stapler. I grabbed the piece of shit stapler from her fat little hands. I slammed the stapler against my brick office wall multiple times. I screamed "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE MY FUCKING STAPLER? DOES IT!? DOES IT!? I DIDN'T THINK SO!!" I think she went to human resources to complain but I don't care. I have been fantasizing about what I will do to the person who took my stapler. If they like my stapler so much than I'm sure they won't mind when I staple their eyelids and nostrils together. It is a very heavy-duty stapler and I am confident in its ability to securely staple flesh.
Give me back my stapler. It's not funny (at all). I know you probably read this board. Asshole.
-gordon
Dear Microsoft Word
Dear Microsoft Word (w4c)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2005-04-14, 3:10AM CDT
Dear Microsoft Word,
Here are a few tips for you.
1.) Don’t ask me if I want help when I’m writing a letter TO YOU at 2:48am.
2.) Don’t do that stupid auto-format shit you just did when I hit enter after I typed “am.” That always messes up my outlines because apparently we don’t have the same style. I go “I.” then “A.” then “1.” then “a.” OK? I don’t want to print my fucking outline at 5am after I’ve worked on it all night and suddenly notice that my shit is all fucked up and you literally WON’T let me fix it. I have to have to wrestle you like a psycho bitch to get you to let me type how I want to. I get A’s in school, ok? Teachers like my outlines the way I do them. I’m sorry.
3.) My teachers want one inch margins. I know, it sucks, but they think I’m a slacker when you slyly auto-fuck with my margins. YOU’RE the slacker, asshole!!!
4.) If I’m writing a ten page paper about, oh, say rhetorical discourse, and I’m on page nine and we’ve (you and I) have been working together for about five hours and I suddenly type “rheotoric,” can’t you REMEMBER that I have correctly typed “rhetoric” nine thousand times by this point and just fucking fix it for me? I have a laptop. Right clicks on those are annoying as shit.
5.) Your dictionary/thesaurus is missing SO MANY fucking words! What’s up with that?
6.) When I hit “print preview” you really should let me actually EDIT there, too. Print preview means, ok, I’m gonna look it over one more time and see if it’s all good. When I notice something’s fucked up, I have to close print preview to go back and search for it to fix it. C’mon.
7.) When you say something is spelled wrong but really it’s just a word you haven’t learned yet, (it’s ok) and I fix it for you before I type anything else, you switch it back to being wrong! Fuck you is that annoying!
8.) Sometimes, I am just right with the grammar and you’re not.
9.) Is it going to hurt my eyes to see the whole damn menu if I click on File or Edit? What are you ashamed of?
10.) I’m sorry I have been such a rude bitch. We have had great times together, and overall you’re thesaurus has made me sound much smarter than I am in many, many papers. Also, I love it when you track my changes. That’s so sexy. And who can forgot Courier New, to turn a seven page paper into ten! Thank you!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2005-04-14, 3:10AM CDT
Dear Microsoft Word,
Here are a few tips for you.
1.) Don’t ask me if I want help when I’m writing a letter TO YOU at 2:48am.
2.) Don’t do that stupid auto-format shit you just did when I hit enter after I typed “am.” That always messes up my outlines because apparently we don’t have the same style. I go “I.” then “A.” then “1.” then “a.” OK? I don’t want to print my fucking outline at 5am after I’ve worked on it all night and suddenly notice that my shit is all fucked up and you literally WON’T let me fix it. I have to have to wrestle you like a psycho bitch to get you to let me type how I want to. I get A’s in school, ok? Teachers like my outlines the way I do them. I’m sorry.
3.) My teachers want one inch margins. I know, it sucks, but they think I’m a slacker when you slyly auto-fuck with my margins. YOU’RE the slacker, asshole!!!
4.) If I’m writing a ten page paper about, oh, say rhetorical discourse, and I’m on page nine and we’ve (you and I) have been working together for about five hours and I suddenly type “rheotoric,” can’t you REMEMBER that I have correctly typed “rhetoric” nine thousand times by this point and just fucking fix it for me? I have a laptop. Right clicks on those are annoying as shit.
5.) Your dictionary/thesaurus is missing SO MANY fucking words! What’s up with that?
6.) When I hit “print preview” you really should let me actually EDIT there, too. Print preview means, ok, I’m gonna look it over one more time and see if it’s all good. When I notice something’s fucked up, I have to close print preview to go back and search for it to fix it. C’mon.
7.) When you say something is spelled wrong but really it’s just a word you haven’t learned yet, (it’s ok) and I fix it for you before I type anything else, you switch it back to being wrong! Fuck you is that annoying!
8.) Sometimes, I am just right with the grammar and you’re not.
9.) Is it going to hurt my eyes to see the whole damn menu if I click on File or Edit? What are you ashamed of?
10.) I’m sorry I have been such a rude bitch. We have had great times together, and overall you’re thesaurus has made me sound much smarter than I am in many, many papers. Also, I love it when you track my changes. That’s so sexy. And who can forgot Courier New, to turn a seven page paper into ten! Thank you!
Dear seat-hogging Backpack. Yes I have come across these on the train
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/70338427.html
Ok lemme apologise in advance - lots of rants coming! HEHE
best of craigslist > austin > why does this piss me off so much? GET IT RIGHT...
Originally Posted: Tue, 15 Nov 17:20 CST
email this posting to a friend
why does this piss me off so much? GET IT RIGHT...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2005-11-15, 5:20PM CST
because it's fucking pathetic!!
lose - the opposite of win, to misplace something, ONE FUCKING O
loose - the opposite of tight, your mother/wife/sister, TWO FUCKING O's
how can so many people get these two confused? IDIOTS
your - a possessive, similar to mine, his, her as in "your loose slut of a sister loses her mind every time she gets railroaded by your whole inbred, shitbag excuse of a family", NO FUCKING APOSTROPHE
you're - a contraction of "you are", as in "you're a dipshit", A FUCKING APOSTROPHE
its - another possessive, similar to your, NO FUCKING APOSTROPHE
it's - a contraction of "it is", as in 'it's fucking simple', A FUCKING APOSTROPHE
Need a trick? Fine - when using it's or you're, expand the contraction. If "you're head is full of shit" becomes "you are head is full of shit" and doesn't make any sense (maybe it will to you because you're a fucking idiot), then you are using the wrong word. Queef.
to - a preposition, as in "turn to the right" or "it's time to go back to school", ONE FUCKING O
too - an adverb (know what that is?), synonymous with "also", "as well" as in "Really? I went to college too. I actually read a FUCKING BOOK." It can also be used to mean "to a regrettable degree" as in "It's too late for you, moron", TWO FUCKING O's
two - a number, it comes after one
there - an adverb, similar to here as in "your tiny bus is over there"
their - yet another possessive, similar to your as in "it's not their fault that you're a fucking retard. It's YOUR fault."
they're - a contraction of "they are" as in "they're not responsible for your complete ignorance of YOUR OWN FUCKING LANGUAGE. READ A BOOK!!"
IT'S NOT FUCKING HARD, DOUCHE BAGS.
By the way, grammar is spelled with TWO FUCKING A's. So next time you want to flame someone for bad "grammer", at least spell it right.
Originally Posted: Tue, 15 Nov 17:20 CST
email this posting to a friend
why does this piss me off so much? GET IT RIGHT...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2005-11-15, 5:20PM CST
because it's fucking pathetic!!
lose - the opposite of win, to misplace something, ONE FUCKING O
loose - the opposite of tight, your mother/wife/sister, TWO FUCKING O's
how can so many people get these two confused? IDIOTS
your - a possessive, similar to mine, his, her as in "your loose slut of a sister loses her mind every time she gets railroaded by your whole inbred, shitbag excuse of a family", NO FUCKING APOSTROPHE
you're - a contraction of "you are", as in "you're a dipshit", A FUCKING APOSTROPHE
its - another possessive, similar to your, NO FUCKING APOSTROPHE
it's - a contraction of "it is", as in 'it's fucking simple', A FUCKING APOSTROPHE
Need a trick? Fine - when using it's or you're, expand the contraction. If "you're head is full of shit" becomes "you are head is full of shit" and doesn't make any sense (maybe it will to you because you're a fucking idiot), then you are using the wrong word. Queef.
to - a preposition, as in "turn to the right" or "it's time to go back to school", ONE FUCKING O
too - an adverb (know what that is?), synonymous with "also", "as well" as in "Really? I went to college too. I actually read a FUCKING BOOK." It can also be used to mean "to a regrettable degree" as in "It's too late for you, moron", TWO FUCKING O's
two - a number, it comes after one
there - an adverb, similar to here as in "your tiny bus is over there"
their - yet another possessive, similar to your as in "it's not their fault that you're a fucking retard. It's YOUR fault."
they're - a contraction of "they are" as in "they're not responsible for your complete ignorance of YOUR OWN FUCKING LANGUAGE. READ A BOOK!!"
IT'S NOT FUCKING HARD, DOUCHE BAGS.
By the way, grammar is spelled with TWO FUCKING A's. So next time you want to flame someone for bad "grammer", at least spell it right.
Another receptionist link
More along the lines of someone being a temp receptionist, from Not My Desk (http://www.notmydesk.com/guide/receptionist.html) Yes it is rather long.
THE RECEPTIONIST
A popular job for the temp just starting out, an old stand-by for the experienced temp, and mountain of despair and confusion for both. About fifty percent of my temping experiences can be chalked up to receptionist positions, and its no easy ride. The strange thing about working reception is that whether it’s your first job and you have no experience, or you’ve been temping for years and you’ve seen it all, it’s still a job that is going to whip you across the back like a belt lined with fishhooks. Metaphorically speaking.
Announcing Calls
This is the worst part of being a receptionist. Especially in smaller offices, certain employees may want you to announce their calls. That means when a call comes in, you have to get their name, put them on hold, call the person in question, tell them who it is, find out if they want to talk to the caller, and then either connect the two calls or take a message or put the call through to voice mail. Pain in the ass? You bet, particularly when you have five other lines flashing, people waiting in the lobby, and the person you are trying to reach isn’t at their desk.
The other problem with this is that connecting calls can be tricky on foreign phone systems, and when you’re a temp, everything is foreign. There’s usually a confusing process that includes specific numbers, different buttons, several consoles, and sometimes even chanting. Sometimes a guide or set of instructions is provided for you, which is very helpful but not always life-saving. A specific example is the time I was answering phones for a large engineering firm. There was only one guy in the entire firm who wanted his calls announced, but he still managed to ruin the entire job for me.
The phone system was a bit old but had been thoughtfully designed by Nazis. To connect two calls you needed to pick one line up, hit 4, press pound, hit 77, pick up the other line, hit 9090, press this greenish button, flick the lights on and off a few times, activate a elaborate pulley system... and so on. Needlessly complicated, time-consuming... but I had it all written down on paper, so I was capable of successfully performing the procedure.
A call came in that afternoon for Bob Hall, the one gentleman for whom I was to announce calls. I got the caller’s name, which was Alan Greene, and put him on hold. I picked up a free line and called Bob.
"Bob," said Bob.
"Hi. I have Alan Greene on the line, would you like to take his call?"
"Yeah, okay."
Fine. I was doing well. I reached for the paper with the long list of instructions.
"Alan?"
It was Bob, apparently thinking I had already connected them.
"Alan? Alan? Hello? Alan? Alan? You there? Alan?"
"Uh, I haven’t-"
"Alan? Alan?"
"I haven’t connected you yet," I said. "Just a moment."
"Oh."
I hit the first button in the sequence.
"Alan? Alan? Hello? Alan?"
"Just a second," I nearly snapped at him, fumbling with the keys.
"New receptionist," was the last thing I heard him mutter before I finally connected them.
This happened a few more times throughout the day, and every time I got a call for him I became a nervous wreck. It was the same each time. I’d tell him he had a call and he’d immediately start calling the persons name, as if I could instantaneously transfer the guy. I’d say, "I’ve got Jim on the line." And then I’d hear this: "Okay, put him throughJim?Jim?Jim?Jim?Jim?" I don’t know what he was used to, but the former receptionist must have had a few extra fingers or something.
At the end of the day I got another call for him. This time I would be ready. I put the person on hold, got the paper out, and ran through the operation a few times in my head. I poised one hand above the console, flexed it a few times, then called Bob.
"Bob."
"Hi. Dave Smith on the line for you. Should I put him through?"
"N-"
I became a flurry of fingers, hitting buttons at a speed far greater than I thought was possible. By Golly, he’d be connected with his call so fast he wouldn’t even...
N-? What did that mean? Was he... was he saying No?
Accepting deliveries
This is the worst part of being a receptionist. Parcel services and bike messengers will constantly be dropping off enormous boxes for people that may or may not actually work at your office. Often you will have to lug the parcels to people’s offices because they never pick them up themselves.
You may also begin to notice the frequent birthdays of your fellow employees, and some of them may seem to have multiple birthdays within the same week due to the ridiculous amount of flowers that are delivered almost hourly. I don’t have any personal hatred of flowers or anything, but when they are sitting on your desk, people have a tendency to stop and coo and fawn all over the bouquet. They will of course want to know who they are for, and will not hesitate to ask you even while you’re on the phone or trying to sleep. This may be worse for you if you’re male, I’m not sure why... I guess guys just don’t feel comfortable sitting up to their foreheads in roses or tulips.
When you actually have to deliver the flowers to the employee’s desk, she will thank you in such a passionate way that makes you feel as though the flowers were from you, personally. This can make you feel anywhere from extremely uncomfortable to highly aroused, depending on the employee, your sexual preferences, and whether or not you’re wearing silk boxers.
Another note: florists, despite their names, do not only deal in flowers these days, as you will surmise when, along with the flowers, several enormous balloons arrive at your desk. One side of the balloons is a cheerful birthday message, while on the other is a highly-reflective surface reminiscent of taut, shiny tinfoil. You know the ones. How many hours have I had to sit at a desk, forced to stare at my huge, distorted head reflected in the back of one of those balloons? I cannot say.
Dealing with Visitors
This is the worst part of being a receptionist. When you work at the front desk of many offices, you not only have to handle phone calls but vendors, contractors, messengers, and family members of the employees. This is where you run into one of the two major drawbacks of wearing a telephone headset. If you don’t actually have a phone in your hand, visitors and people in general won’t realize you’re on the phone and just start talking to you.
The other major drawback is having a hunk of plastic jammed irretrievably into your ear canal.
Vendors, by far, will cause the most amount of problems. For some inexplicable reason, they are taught something called cold-calling, where they just drop by without an appointment and ask to meet with someone. I’m not sure why they call it cold-calling... maybe because when they do it you want to call someone to kill them and make their bodies cold, ‘cause, you know, when you die, your body gets... cold... and... okay, that was lame.
This one time I was working a desk for a long distance company and a vendor came into the office. He looked (and I hope I’m not making any major stereotypical observations here) like a Mafia goon. He had lots of rings, an expensive looking suit, slicked back hair, and since I was on the first floor I could see the silver Lexus he had stepped out of.
He asked to see Cathy, who I knew to be one of the office managers. I called her up.
"Oh God," she said when I told her who was here to see her. "I don’t have the time. Tell him to come and see me in a few months. After Thanksgiving."
I was a bit surprised, I mean, he looked somewhat important. I relayed the information and he seemed shocked.
"I don’t understand," he told me. "You have my product. I just need to clean my product and give you some updates. How can I do that if Cathy won’t see me?"
I had no idea, and I wasn’t sure why he needed to clean his product. I figured that maybe he sold printers or some sort of electronic equipment. He made it sound very important.
By this time the phones were ringing and I started to answer them, but he wouldn’t leave. Every time I had a few free seconds he would start in on me again. How was he supposed to do his job? He was being shut out of the loop. He was being ignored. He needed to keep his product in working order.
He wouldn’t go away and there were other people beginning to fill up the lobby. By now I was trying to give him subtle messages that I wanted him to leave (such as drawing little pictures of him being decapitated on my blotter) and he finally got the hint. He tossed a business card on the desk and left the office in a huff. As his car screeched out of the parking lot, I glanced at his card. Turns out the guy was a rubber stamp vendor. Rubber stamps. No wonder Cathy wouldn’t see him. Who the hell cares about rubber stamps? And he needs to clean them? What sort of expert labor would that require? A few swipes with a Kleenex? And that’s called product maintenance?
I’m not one to judge an entire profession on the behavior of one representative, but vendors are total losers. I hate them all. You should too.
Callers With No Sense of Humor
I try to be sympathetic. If you’re working for a large company with lots of branch offices, or, God forbid, a city office, chances are that by the time a call reaches you, it has been through several switchboards and a handful of receptionists. So the caller may be understandably frazzled, and not at all in good spirits. Say the wrong thing to them and, even if it’s well intended, they may simply explode.
An example. I was working for the City of Portland, and I got a call from a woman who wanted to know the location of our offices.
"It’s the Portlandia building, downtown. Fifth Avenue," I told her.
"What streets is that between?" she asked.
"That’s between Fourth and Sixth," I said.
It was only a joke, and I quickly assured her I was kidding and gave her the correct cross-streets for our address. There were a few moments of chilly silence on her end, then:
Ka-boom.
Man, this lady tore me a new poop-chute, and what’s worse, since she was asking what our location was, it meant she was heading downtown to visit the office and I’d have to deal with her again.
So never assume anyone you talk to has a sense of humor. Just give them the facts and get off the line, because there are people out there who can mortally wound via telephone lines.
Another problem with callers is their apparent inability to quickly write down anything you tell them. I don’t know what the deal is, but it can take up to three hours to give someone a phone number. The conversation goes like this:
"Hi. What’s Todd’s number?"
"It’s 823-734-"
"Wait. Wait. Okay… Eiiiiigght….
"Yes. 823-73-"
"Wait. Wait. Eiiiiiggghhht…. Twwwwwoooooooo…."
"3…"
"Threeeeeee…."
"7."
"Wait. Eeeeeeee….. Seeeeeevvvvvveeeeennnnnnnn…"
What could be taking this person so long to take down a phone number? Is he writing the numbers, or carving them out of alabaster? I really makes you wonder how long it took them to dial the phone in the first place.
This is the worst part of being a receptionist.
THE RECEPTIONIST
A popular job for the temp just starting out, an old stand-by for the experienced temp, and mountain of despair and confusion for both. About fifty percent of my temping experiences can be chalked up to receptionist positions, and its no easy ride. The strange thing about working reception is that whether it’s your first job and you have no experience, or you’ve been temping for years and you’ve seen it all, it’s still a job that is going to whip you across the back like a belt lined with fishhooks. Metaphorically speaking.
Announcing Calls
This is the worst part of being a receptionist. Especially in smaller offices, certain employees may want you to announce their calls. That means when a call comes in, you have to get their name, put them on hold, call the person in question, tell them who it is, find out if they want to talk to the caller, and then either connect the two calls or take a message or put the call through to voice mail. Pain in the ass? You bet, particularly when you have five other lines flashing, people waiting in the lobby, and the person you are trying to reach isn’t at their desk.
The other problem with this is that connecting calls can be tricky on foreign phone systems, and when you’re a temp, everything is foreign. There’s usually a confusing process that includes specific numbers, different buttons, several consoles, and sometimes even chanting. Sometimes a guide or set of instructions is provided for you, which is very helpful but not always life-saving. A specific example is the time I was answering phones for a large engineering firm. There was only one guy in the entire firm who wanted his calls announced, but he still managed to ruin the entire job for me.
The phone system was a bit old but had been thoughtfully designed by Nazis. To connect two calls you needed to pick one line up, hit 4, press pound, hit 77, pick up the other line, hit 9090, press this greenish button, flick the lights on and off a few times, activate a elaborate pulley system... and so on. Needlessly complicated, time-consuming... but I had it all written down on paper, so I was capable of successfully performing the procedure.
A call came in that afternoon for Bob Hall, the one gentleman for whom I was to announce calls. I got the caller’s name, which was Alan Greene, and put him on hold. I picked up a free line and called Bob.
"Bob," said Bob.
"Hi. I have Alan Greene on the line, would you like to take his call?"
"Yeah, okay."
Fine. I was doing well. I reached for the paper with the long list of instructions.
"Alan?"
It was Bob, apparently thinking I had already connected them.
"Alan? Alan? Hello? Alan? Alan? You there? Alan?"
"Uh, I haven’t-"
"Alan? Alan?"
"I haven’t connected you yet," I said. "Just a moment."
"Oh."
I hit the first button in the sequence.
"Alan? Alan? Hello? Alan?"
"Just a second," I nearly snapped at him, fumbling with the keys.
"New receptionist," was the last thing I heard him mutter before I finally connected them.
This happened a few more times throughout the day, and every time I got a call for him I became a nervous wreck. It was the same each time. I’d tell him he had a call and he’d immediately start calling the persons name, as if I could instantaneously transfer the guy. I’d say, "I’ve got Jim on the line." And then I’d hear this: "Okay, put him throughJim?Jim?Jim?Jim?Jim?" I don’t know what he was used to, but the former receptionist must have had a few extra fingers or something.
At the end of the day I got another call for him. This time I would be ready. I put the person on hold, got the paper out, and ran through the operation a few times in my head. I poised one hand above the console, flexed it a few times, then called Bob.
"Bob."
"Hi. Dave Smith on the line for you. Should I put him through?"
"N-"
I became a flurry of fingers, hitting buttons at a speed far greater than I thought was possible. By Golly, he’d be connected with his call so fast he wouldn’t even...
N-? What did that mean? Was he... was he saying No?
Accepting deliveries
This is the worst part of being a receptionist. Parcel services and bike messengers will constantly be dropping off enormous boxes for people that may or may not actually work at your office. Often you will have to lug the parcels to people’s offices because they never pick them up themselves.
You may also begin to notice the frequent birthdays of your fellow employees, and some of them may seem to have multiple birthdays within the same week due to the ridiculous amount of flowers that are delivered almost hourly. I don’t have any personal hatred of flowers or anything, but when they are sitting on your desk, people have a tendency to stop and coo and fawn all over the bouquet. They will of course want to know who they are for, and will not hesitate to ask you even while you’re on the phone or trying to sleep. This may be worse for you if you’re male, I’m not sure why... I guess guys just don’t feel comfortable sitting up to their foreheads in roses or tulips.
When you actually have to deliver the flowers to the employee’s desk, she will thank you in such a passionate way that makes you feel as though the flowers were from you, personally. This can make you feel anywhere from extremely uncomfortable to highly aroused, depending on the employee, your sexual preferences, and whether or not you’re wearing silk boxers.
Another note: florists, despite their names, do not only deal in flowers these days, as you will surmise when, along with the flowers, several enormous balloons arrive at your desk. One side of the balloons is a cheerful birthday message, while on the other is a highly-reflective surface reminiscent of taut, shiny tinfoil. You know the ones. How many hours have I had to sit at a desk, forced to stare at my huge, distorted head reflected in the back of one of those balloons? I cannot say.
Dealing with Visitors
This is the worst part of being a receptionist. When you work at the front desk of many offices, you not only have to handle phone calls but vendors, contractors, messengers, and family members of the employees. This is where you run into one of the two major drawbacks of wearing a telephone headset. If you don’t actually have a phone in your hand, visitors and people in general won’t realize you’re on the phone and just start talking to you.
The other major drawback is having a hunk of plastic jammed irretrievably into your ear canal.
Vendors, by far, will cause the most amount of problems. For some inexplicable reason, they are taught something called cold-calling, where they just drop by without an appointment and ask to meet with someone. I’m not sure why they call it cold-calling... maybe because when they do it you want to call someone to kill them and make their bodies cold, ‘cause, you know, when you die, your body gets... cold... and... okay, that was lame.
This one time I was working a desk for a long distance company and a vendor came into the office. He looked (and I hope I’m not making any major stereotypical observations here) like a Mafia goon. He had lots of rings, an expensive looking suit, slicked back hair, and since I was on the first floor I could see the silver Lexus he had stepped out of.
He asked to see Cathy, who I knew to be one of the office managers. I called her up.
"Oh God," she said when I told her who was here to see her. "I don’t have the time. Tell him to come and see me in a few months. After Thanksgiving."
I was a bit surprised, I mean, he looked somewhat important. I relayed the information and he seemed shocked.
"I don’t understand," he told me. "You have my product. I just need to clean my product and give you some updates. How can I do that if Cathy won’t see me?"
I had no idea, and I wasn’t sure why he needed to clean his product. I figured that maybe he sold printers or some sort of electronic equipment. He made it sound very important.
By this time the phones were ringing and I started to answer them, but he wouldn’t leave. Every time I had a few free seconds he would start in on me again. How was he supposed to do his job? He was being shut out of the loop. He was being ignored. He needed to keep his product in working order.
He wouldn’t go away and there were other people beginning to fill up the lobby. By now I was trying to give him subtle messages that I wanted him to leave (such as drawing little pictures of him being decapitated on my blotter) and he finally got the hint. He tossed a business card on the desk and left the office in a huff. As his car screeched out of the parking lot, I glanced at his card. Turns out the guy was a rubber stamp vendor. Rubber stamps. No wonder Cathy wouldn’t see him. Who the hell cares about rubber stamps? And he needs to clean them? What sort of expert labor would that require? A few swipes with a Kleenex? And that’s called product maintenance?
I’m not one to judge an entire profession on the behavior of one representative, but vendors are total losers. I hate them all. You should too.
Callers With No Sense of Humor
I try to be sympathetic. If you’re working for a large company with lots of branch offices, or, God forbid, a city office, chances are that by the time a call reaches you, it has been through several switchboards and a handful of receptionists. So the caller may be understandably frazzled, and not at all in good spirits. Say the wrong thing to them and, even if it’s well intended, they may simply explode.
An example. I was working for the City of Portland, and I got a call from a woman who wanted to know the location of our offices.
"It’s the Portlandia building, downtown. Fifth Avenue," I told her.
"What streets is that between?" she asked.
"That’s between Fourth and Sixth," I said.
It was only a joke, and I quickly assured her I was kidding and gave her the correct cross-streets for our address. There were a few moments of chilly silence on her end, then:
Ka-boom.
Man, this lady tore me a new poop-chute, and what’s worse, since she was asking what our location was, it meant she was heading downtown to visit the office and I’d have to deal with her again.
So never assume anyone you talk to has a sense of humor. Just give them the facts and get off the line, because there are people out there who can mortally wound via telephone lines.
Another problem with callers is their apparent inability to quickly write down anything you tell them. I don’t know what the deal is, but it can take up to three hours to give someone a phone number. The conversation goes like this:
"Hi. What’s Todd’s number?"
"It’s 823-734-"
"Wait. Wait. Okay… Eiiiiigght….
"Yes. 823-73-"
"Wait. Wait. Eiiiiiggghhht…. Twwwwwoooooooo…."
"3…"
"Threeeeeee…."
"7."
"Wait. Eeeeeeee….. Seeeeeevvvvvveeeeennnnnnnn…"
What could be taking this person so long to take down a phone number? Is he writing the numbers, or carving them out of alabaster? I really makes you wonder how long it took them to dial the phone in the first place.
This is the worst part of being a receptionist.
Some more receptionistica - from craigslist
Open Letter From Your Receptionist
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2003-04-07, 8:44AM PDT
To the Whiny, Self-Important, Over-worked-Under-paid, Cowards in My Office: I understand that I am the peon in this environment. I know that I have no rights, that your wish is my command, that I am powerless under your whims. I took this job knowing all that. I’m still OK with it (sorta). I just wanted to clarify that I do not like it. I don’t secretly cream myself when you glare at me. I don’t rub myself at night thinking about how much you want to make my life miserable. This is not an enjoyable experience. And I’m not just saying that cause I want you to think that I don’t enjoy it. I know you all. Some of you are sitting in your tiny cubicles (the horror that not everyone, or at least just you has a manager’s cube) writing code for the next great evolution of our mighty software. Others are sitting in their cubes schmoozing on the phone trying to sell that software. The writers hate the sales teams because sales gets all the respect, after all, they make the money. I’m sick of which came first/which is more important. This company wouldn’t be around without either of you, so just accept the fact that you’re both vital. If the sales guys get stroked a little more, just accept it. They have lower self-esteem. Right after a big sale, you could accuse them of being egomaniacs, walking around on cloud nine and generally being a prick. I appreciate that a lot more than I dig you developers’ secret sense of self-importance. It’s a keyboard, a computer, and an idea. It is not a nuclear weapon. It is not a magic lamp. It is what it is. If you are so freakin’ great don’t you think maybe you might have had an original idea of your own to develop AND sell? Then you’d have to hate yourself, huh? But the real problem is that you all secretly hate me, the receptionist. Our great company buys breakfast for you every morning, but here’s a clue: It’s their money, it’s my time. I know you hate me because you think I don’t do anything all day but do my crosswords and surf the internet. Here’s the reality of the situation: I make far less than anyone else in the office, yet I am expected to put up with all your crap. I used to damn near chew my arm off fretting about what to buy (on a budget) for breakfast to make 30 people happy, wait, 29 because I don’t count. Some mornings, the supermarket is over-run by soccer moms (this is especially true when there’s a storm coming or Tom Ridge adds an item to the “Terrorist Preparedness List”). And it takes me a few minutes longer than expected to fight my way through the grocery checkout. Forgive me for getting breakfast out 5 minutes late. Or maybe you could just bitch-slap me and you’d feel better. Just like a wife beater from the 1950’s isn’t that what you really want anyway? A feasible way into a plane of existence where there’s no such thing as “soft wares”? The company tricked me. They hired a receptionist and set forth expectations of administrative assistant to the masses and facilities chick extraordinaire. They pay me as a receptionist. I have not yet cried over it. About my “attitude problem.” I know you think that I don’t do anything all day. This is entirely false. When I’m not fielding questions about where your packages are, taking PlaceWare classes, on a conference call, tracking an invoice, calling maintenance up to adjust the temperature because you are always either too hot or too cold, dealing with whiny SOB’s from the other office that I’m responsible for, opening a helpdesk issue to resovle something that you could resolve yourself if you thought you could, fixing the printer/copier/fax machine because you broke it again, or generally trying to improve my plight – yes, you might catch me checking my hotmail account. Forgive me. My biggest gripe about you though is that you will never gather the nerve to come to me and tell me when something doesn’t go your way. I bend over backwards trying to be accommodating and have never let my smile falter in your presence. How could that possibly be intimidating enough to make you run to my manager with imaginary complaints? If he was on-site more often he would know that I don’t walk around here snapping bubble gum, cursing people out, and dressed like The Nanny. Thankfully, he thinks I just don’t know what’s up in corporate America. I don’t know how to play the game, he thinks, and I think “I know how to play this game, but I just don’t fluckin’ care anymore.” I am currently accepting applications for “Sugar Daddy.” That’s the point it’s come to, folks. I’d rather have a stinky, sleazy, dirty, filthy-rich piece of crap objectifying me than submit to one more day of your slow exploitation. And I hate to even feign being akin to any of you but “Maybe when I’m gone you’ll know how good you had it.” - One Angry Receptionist, aka Your Bitch My MC: A job where people talk shit to my face. And are able to take it back.
10109930
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2003-04-07, 8:44AM PDT
To the Whiny, Self-Important, Over-worked-Under-paid, Cowards in My Office: I understand that I am the peon in this environment. I know that I have no rights, that your wish is my command, that I am powerless under your whims. I took this job knowing all that. I’m still OK with it (sorta). I just wanted to clarify that I do not like it. I don’t secretly cream myself when you glare at me. I don’t rub myself at night thinking about how much you want to make my life miserable. This is not an enjoyable experience. And I’m not just saying that cause I want you to think that I don’t enjoy it. I know you all. Some of you are sitting in your tiny cubicles (the horror that not everyone, or at least just you has a manager’s cube) writing code for the next great evolution of our mighty software. Others are sitting in their cubes schmoozing on the phone trying to sell that software. The writers hate the sales teams because sales gets all the respect, after all, they make the money. I’m sick of which came first/which is more important. This company wouldn’t be around without either of you, so just accept the fact that you’re both vital. If the sales guys get stroked a little more, just accept it. They have lower self-esteem. Right after a big sale, you could accuse them of being egomaniacs, walking around on cloud nine and generally being a prick. I appreciate that a lot more than I dig you developers’ secret sense of self-importance. It’s a keyboard, a computer, and an idea. It is not a nuclear weapon. It is not a magic lamp. It is what it is. If you are so freakin’ great don’t you think maybe you might have had an original idea of your own to develop AND sell? Then you’d have to hate yourself, huh? But the real problem is that you all secretly hate me, the receptionist. Our great company buys breakfast for you every morning, but here’s a clue: It’s their money, it’s my time. I know you hate me because you think I don’t do anything all day but do my crosswords and surf the internet. Here’s the reality of the situation: I make far less than anyone else in the office, yet I am expected to put up with all your crap. I used to damn near chew my arm off fretting about what to buy (on a budget) for breakfast to make 30 people happy, wait, 29 because I don’t count. Some mornings, the supermarket is over-run by soccer moms (this is especially true when there’s a storm coming or Tom Ridge adds an item to the “Terrorist Preparedness List”). And it takes me a few minutes longer than expected to fight my way through the grocery checkout. Forgive me for getting breakfast out 5 minutes late. Or maybe you could just bitch-slap me and you’d feel better. Just like a wife beater from the 1950’s isn’t that what you really want anyway? A feasible way into a plane of existence where there’s no such thing as “soft wares”? The company tricked me. They hired a receptionist and set forth expectations of administrative assistant to the masses and facilities chick extraordinaire. They pay me as a receptionist. I have not yet cried over it. About my “attitude problem.” I know you think that I don’t do anything all day. This is entirely false. When I’m not fielding questions about where your packages are, taking PlaceWare classes, on a conference call, tracking an invoice, calling maintenance up to adjust the temperature because you are always either too hot or too cold, dealing with whiny SOB’s from the other office that I’m responsible for, opening a helpdesk issue to resovle something that you could resolve yourself if you thought you could, fixing the printer/copier/fax machine because you broke it again, or generally trying to improve my plight – yes, you might catch me checking my hotmail account. Forgive me. My biggest gripe about you though is that you will never gather the nerve to come to me and tell me when something doesn’t go your way. I bend over backwards trying to be accommodating and have never let my smile falter in your presence. How could that possibly be intimidating enough to make you run to my manager with imaginary complaints? If he was on-site more often he would know that I don’t walk around here snapping bubble gum, cursing people out, and dressed like The Nanny. Thankfully, he thinks I just don’t know what’s up in corporate America. I don’t know how to play the game, he thinks, and I think “I know how to play this game, but I just don’t fluckin’ care anymore.” I am currently accepting applications for “Sugar Daddy.” That’s the point it’s come to, folks. I’d rather have a stinky, sleazy, dirty, filthy-rich piece of crap objectifying me than submit to one more day of your slow exploitation. And I hate to even feign being akin to any of you but “Maybe when I’m gone you’ll know how good you had it.” - One Angry Receptionist, aka Your Bitch My MC: A job where people talk shit to my face. And are able to take it back.
10109930
BRILLIANT!!!!!! Why I hate answering phones
I'm sommer going to copy and paste ALL of it here, so that I have a future record of it. This's from craigslist, the link is: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/bos/37845757.html
20 reasons to hate answering phones:
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Date: 2004-07-29, 6:01PM EDT
1. I have a script. Sorry, it's what the boss wants. It's not MY fault that the script is, at a minimum, 12 words long with 16 syllables. But regardless of how long it is and how busy and important you are, DON'T interrupt me you jackass, it's rude.
2. Issue #1's annoyance level is doubled when you're a regular caller and you STILL interrupt even though you KNOW what I'm going to say.
3. You aren't cute. No really, you aren't. When I say "May I tell her who's calling?" saying "You May" instead of giving me YOUR NAME, JACKASS makes me want to shoot you.
4. I am a receptionist, not a non-entity. Listen to me. My name is -------. It is not Madeline, it is not Valerie, it is not Sally, it is not Michelle, it is not Maggie.
5. Oh, and I don't care who your wife is, you double jackass, LISTEN TO ME when you call. I'm not my coworker. If you'd LISTEN to me say my name you'd fucking know that.
6. Okay, you want to be Mr. Friendly. Fine. But I have to answer the other 3 calls coming in at the exact same time you have called and I do not have time to talk about how I don't sound like I'm from around here, or how crazy it must be with the convention in town, or how it's tough to get through to --- or how I'm doing today. Shut up.
7. And, ---, you triple jackass, the fact that you always want to chat when you call is triple annoying since you call roughly 30 TIMES A DAY.
8. Telemarketers and cold callers. Don't get me started. This is INFINITELY annoying since my company controls 99 phone numbers...all in numerical order. Which means once a telemarketer dials that first number...they just keep going down the list and for the next 20 minutes I'm subjected to call after call of "This is an important recording from..." and "May I speak to the person in your office in charge of..." and, really, this is the worst, the 'friendly' telemarketer "Hi, Madeline, how are you today?"
9. Why do you dial a number but then start another conversation? When you are calling here BE PREPARED for my mad phone answering speed, jackass. Don't be in the middle of a frikkin conversation.
10. Okay, maybe this is ethnocentric of me, but if you live here, speak the damn language. I would not move to Baden-Baden and not learn Baden-Badenease. So YOU learn to speak English and then you will be able to understand the damn directions.
11. You are calling a recruiter. Someone who you, hopefully, want to impress so that they will work harder for getting you a job. Don't be rude to the receptionist, dumbass. They are just gonna pass that little bit of information right on to the recruiter. Oh, and know their name and if you don't have a frikkin clue how to pronounce it, then don't try, you sound like a fool. Asking in a jovial way MAY make me like you. Asshat.
12. No, I can not read minds nor predict the future. I have no fucking clue when they will be off the phone. Nor do I know when they will be in the office, be done with their meeting, be back from lunch or when they will call you back. Stop asking.
13. "So and So is on the line right now, may I offer you their voice mail?" This is a yes or no question. It does not require thought. Yes. Or. No. Didn't you have a plan when you called? Haven't you experienced voice mail before? Just answer me damn it!!! Yes or no?
14. And double annoyance points if you complain to me that you've already left a message. Then why the hell are you calling back?!? When they aren't busy anymore they'll call you! (And no, I DON'T know when that will be.)
15. Triple annoyance points if you start argueing with me when I won't "put you through" to the client. They are on the phone, working. You are not their only client, fuckstick.
16. Clients, most of you don't suck, but I've got better things to do than sit on the intercom while you "Um...right...John Doe...um...you know..." You either want to talk to John Doe or you don't, stop being a dumbass.
17. How do I know they're on the phone right now? How do I know they aren't at their desk? Okay, okay, you got me. I'm just lying. They're standing RIGHT THE FUCK here and I'm just LAUGHING MY ASS off at you instead of putting the call through.
18. Speaking of which, you lazy fuck clients who work from 10 or so until 2 or so. I find it morally repulsive that you want me to lie for you so that people think you're working when you aren't. Lazy. Fucks. Do your own lieing, okay?
19. THIS IS NOT A FAX LINE.
20. Cheryl. Cheryl, Cheyrl, Cheryl. *shakes head* I know how hard it is to trust, honey. I know how difficult it is. Maybe he's cheated in the past. Maybe he's a liar. Maybe he's a cold heartless bastard who never calls. Maybe he ignores you when he's home, which isn't much because he's at work all the time. BUT STOP CALLING TWICE EVERY FUCKING HOUR!!!! I'll make you a deal, okay? You stop calling twice every hour and the minute I see your husband fuck somebody in the elevator or hear some breathless Marilyn-sings-Happy-Bday-Mr.Pres-voiced chick call and ask for her super stud, I'll call you and let you know. this is in or around An office
37845757
20 reasons to hate answering phones:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2004-07-29, 6:01PM EDT
1. I have a script. Sorry, it's what the boss wants. It's not MY fault that the script is, at a minimum, 12 words long with 16 syllables. But regardless of how long it is and how busy and important you are, DON'T interrupt me you jackass, it's rude.
2. Issue #1's annoyance level is doubled when you're a regular caller and you STILL interrupt even though you KNOW what I'm going to say.
3. You aren't cute. No really, you aren't. When I say "May I tell her who's calling?" saying "You May" instead of giving me YOUR NAME, JACKASS makes me want to shoot you.
4. I am a receptionist, not a non-entity. Listen to me. My name is -------. It is not Madeline, it is not Valerie, it is not Sally, it is not Michelle, it is not Maggie.
5. Oh, and I don't care who your wife is, you double jackass, LISTEN TO ME when you call. I'm not my coworker. If you'd LISTEN to me say my name you'd fucking know that.
6. Okay, you want to be Mr. Friendly. Fine. But I have to answer the other 3 calls coming in at the exact same time you have called and I do not have time to talk about how I don't sound like I'm from around here, or how crazy it must be with the convention in town, or how it's tough to get through to --- or how I'm doing today. Shut up.
7. And, ---, you triple jackass, the fact that you always want to chat when you call is triple annoying since you call roughly 30 TIMES A DAY.
8. Telemarketers and cold callers. Don't get me started. This is INFINITELY annoying since my company controls 99 phone numbers...all in numerical order. Which means once a telemarketer dials that first number...they just keep going down the list and for the next 20 minutes I'm subjected to call after call of "This is an important recording from..." and "May I speak to the person in your office in charge of..." and, really, this is the worst, the 'friendly' telemarketer "Hi, Madeline, how are you today?"
9. Why do you dial a number but then start another conversation? When you are calling here BE PREPARED for my mad phone answering speed, jackass. Don't be in the middle of a frikkin conversation.
10. Okay, maybe this is ethnocentric of me, but if you live here, speak the damn language. I would not move to Baden-Baden and not learn Baden-Badenease. So YOU learn to speak English and then you will be able to understand the damn directions.
11. You are calling a recruiter. Someone who you, hopefully, want to impress so that they will work harder for getting you a job. Don't be rude to the receptionist, dumbass. They are just gonna pass that little bit of information right on to the recruiter. Oh, and know their name and if you don't have a frikkin clue how to pronounce it, then don't try, you sound like a fool. Asking in a jovial way MAY make me like you. Asshat.
12. No, I can not read minds nor predict the future. I have no fucking clue when they will be off the phone. Nor do I know when they will be in the office, be done with their meeting, be back from lunch or when they will call you back. Stop asking.
13. "So and So is on the line right now, may I offer you their voice mail?" This is a yes or no question. It does not require thought. Yes. Or. No. Didn't you have a plan when you called? Haven't you experienced voice mail before? Just answer me damn it!!! Yes or no?
14. And double annoyance points if you complain to me that you've already left a message. Then why the hell are you calling back?!? When they aren't busy anymore they'll call you! (And no, I DON'T know when that will be.)
15. Triple annoyance points if you start argueing with me when I won't "put you through" to the client. They are on the phone, working. You are not their only client, fuckstick.
16. Clients, most of you don't suck, but I've got better things to do than sit on the intercom while you "Um...right...John Doe...um...you know..." You either want to talk to John Doe or you don't, stop being a dumbass.
17. How do I know they're on the phone right now? How do I know they aren't at their desk? Okay, okay, you got me. I'm just lying. They're standing RIGHT THE FUCK here and I'm just LAUGHING MY ASS off at you instead of putting the call through.
18. Speaking of which, you lazy fuck clients who work from 10 or so until 2 or so. I find it morally repulsive that you want me to lie for you so that people think you're working when you aren't. Lazy. Fucks. Do your own lieing, okay?
19. THIS IS NOT A FAX LINE.
20. Cheryl. Cheryl, Cheyrl, Cheryl. *shakes head* I know how hard it is to trust, honey. I know how difficult it is. Maybe he's cheated in the past. Maybe he's a liar. Maybe he's a cold heartless bastard who never calls. Maybe he ignores you when he's home, which isn't much because he's at work all the time. BUT STOP CALLING TWICE EVERY FUCKING HOUR!!!! I'll make you a deal, okay? You stop calling twice every hour and the minute I see your husband fuck somebody in the elevator or hear some breathless Marilyn-sings-Happy-Bday-Mr.Pres-voiced chick call and ask for her super stud, I'll call you and let you know. this is in or around An office
37845757
I HATE THIS DAMN PLACE!!!
Ok WHY exactly am I so ANGRY at this worthless place? Well, for one thing, because the stupid cellphone router thing is faulty and I *have* phoned them and yet they take forever and everyone here keeps nagging "is there something wrong with the phone line?" and bugging me about it. I CAN'T magically FIX the goddamn thing, ok people?
What else: oh yes, I'm having my weekly No-Lunch Thursday which puts me in a real charming mood ANYWAY.
I want to go somewhere, for a few days, just think about nothing really. Blob around and do FUN things, whenever whatever takes my fancy. I want to be able to eat a *whole* sarmie without someone interrupting me, whether it be by phone, by door intercom or in person. I want to be able to eat a chocolate where I can enjoy it til the last bit melts away, rather than have to WASTE that last-bit-melting moment by swallowing because the door/phone/person has bothered me. LEAVE ME ALONE I'M EATING A CHOCOLATE!!! Damn you!
Waste of one of those fleeting heavenly moments! ARGH!
Ok yes, as you may be able to see, I'm nearing the point of going postal. Ok not really but still. There is only SO much of this sort of thing a person can tolerate.
Ok. I'm breathing. It *is* nearly weekend. There are only just over 5 weeks left til the office closes. Ahh summer freedom.
Heard on the radio news this morning about a drug bust involving 4 ppl at a block of flats, and they basically described where G's flats are although we aren't sure. Which is strange, seeing how we'd stopped by at his flat yesterday evening, to pick up stuff before going to my place. And we'd walked past this dude who seems to use the stairwell to push his drugs. He sits there with his goodie-bag (including needle etc). QUITE the charmer!!! He was knocking on the door of one of the flats, and his friend was sitting in the stairwell like usual. Hmmm, is it? Isn't it?
The fish are all fine. One of the female congos has a habit of swimming in a tight little circle. It is only one of them because I observed her very carefully and well, they aren't identical so I'm sure it's only that one. Very weird but a cute quirk.
Aw I had a lot more things to blog about but I forgot. Ah well, will resume later I guess. Going to try choke down some chips now.
What else: oh yes, I'm having my weekly No-Lunch Thursday which puts me in a real charming mood ANYWAY.
I want to go somewhere, for a few days, just think about nothing really. Blob around and do FUN things, whenever whatever takes my fancy. I want to be able to eat a *whole* sarmie without someone interrupting me, whether it be by phone, by door intercom or in person. I want to be able to eat a chocolate where I can enjoy it til the last bit melts away, rather than have to WASTE that last-bit-melting moment by swallowing because the door/phone/person has bothered me. LEAVE ME ALONE I'M EATING A CHOCOLATE!!! Damn you!
Waste of one of those fleeting heavenly moments! ARGH!
Ok yes, as you may be able to see, I'm nearing the point of going postal. Ok not really but still. There is only SO much of this sort of thing a person can tolerate.
Ok. I'm breathing. It *is* nearly weekend. There are only just over 5 weeks left til the office closes. Ahh summer freedom.
Heard on the radio news this morning about a drug bust involving 4 ppl at a block of flats, and they basically described where G's flats are although we aren't sure. Which is strange, seeing how we'd stopped by at his flat yesterday evening, to pick up stuff before going to my place. And we'd walked past this dude who seems to use the stairwell to push his drugs. He sits there with his goodie-bag (including needle etc). QUITE the charmer!!! He was knocking on the door of one of the flats, and his friend was sitting in the stairwell like usual. Hmmm, is it? Isn't it?
The fish are all fine. One of the female congos has a habit of swimming in a tight little circle. It is only one of them because I observed her very carefully and well, they aren't identical so I'm sure it's only that one. Very weird but a cute quirk.
Aw I had a lot more things to blog about but I forgot. Ah well, will resume later I guess. Going to try choke down some chips now.
Oh and another thought...
...I am not a broodmare, I'm a fine frisky filly
And yes, I do realise that the posts are in the wrong order, that's a bug with blogger beta (pfff!). So this post will appear UNDER the previous (older) one from today.
And yes, I do realise that the posts are in the wrong order, that's a bug with blogger beta (pfff!). So this post will appear UNDER the previous (older) one from today.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
3 months! ...only?
Feels like it's been much longer than that. In a good way, hehe! Went out for a celebratory date with G to a restaurant at the Waterfront. Had a RATHER nice pasta! Didn't get to have any dessert or anything since we were both VERY VERY FULL!
*kehkehkeh*
Did a waterchange on Sunday as the water was rather brown again. This time it took 2 weeks to get that dark. Hopefully the wood is nearly done with leaching.
I'm going to move the fish from the little tank into the big tank with all the other fish soon. I reckon they're gonna be surprised at the huge space and the HUGE congos, but Captain Kuhli Loach will be in HEAVEN! So many places to HIDE!!!!!!!!! Doubt I'll see much of him after that!
I'm really dying to get some marbled hatchetfish but the tank is already full and it'd be overcrowded.
Funny how the congos have a totally different manner to the rest of the tetras. At times one of them will swim in a tight circle, basically just turning around on the spot. Rather weird, like a dog chasing its tail.
*kehkehkeh*
Did a waterchange on Sunday as the water was rather brown again. This time it took 2 weeks to get that dark. Hopefully the wood is nearly done with leaching.
I'm going to move the fish from the little tank into the big tank with all the other fish soon. I reckon they're gonna be surprised at the huge space and the HUGE congos, but Captain Kuhli Loach will be in HEAVEN! So many places to HIDE!!!!!!!!! Doubt I'll see much of him after that!
I'm really dying to get some marbled hatchetfish but the tank is already full and it'd be overcrowded.
Funny how the congos have a totally different manner to the rest of the tetras. At times one of them will swim in a tight circle, basically just turning around on the spot. Rather weird, like a dog chasing its tail.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Ok, altogether not a pleasant experience.. comedy of errors I think not!
Ok just to warn anyone reading: I might take a long time to write this post, due to the fact that I have a lot to read: 4 Financial Mails and a Noseweek... AND I'm having my coffee and doing work (at times) too. Not that it affects how you read the post anyway, just thought I'd try make everyone envious of coffee and magazines... heh heh heh!
Saturday afternoon trip to Cavendish. Basically to window shop and get inspiration for Christmas presents. Managed to sort out Mom's and my sis's gifts - YAY :D 2 down!!
Walked around for quite a while then decided to get some lunch. The place we wanted to go to was packed and there was quite a queue outside so it'd have taken us about an hour or so to actually get seated. So we went to the same place we went last time, the place I got moldy toast from. We thought "it can't be bad EVERY time, can it?"
We were seated immediately, the waiter was there straight away and we first ordered our drinks (caramel hot shot mmmmmmmmmm). When the drinks arrived we ordered our meals.
G's and my meals arrived, but his was wrong. They'd given him the half-portion of something similar to what he had ordered. My meal was fine but I waited for his meal to be sorted before starting - we were chatting about stuff anyway. They promptly brought his meal, which was STILL wrong - they'd brought the FULL portion of the wrong thing. G called the waiter back and asked him for a menu, so that he could show him what exactly it was that he'd ordered. A more senior waiter came to ask what was wrong so G showed him on the menu what he'd ordered and well it was more than obvious that what was on the plate was not what G was pointing at.
So anyway, his plate was taken away and I started on my food. Had a forkful, was chatting to G about how terrible it was that they mixed up his food, and was cutting a second forkful when I noticed something odd in my food. Scooped it out with my knife, spread it out on the side of the plate and was AMAZED to find it was a caterpillar. Unmistakeably a caterpillar. It had all 6 stumpy little legs as well as that strange foot thing on its tail that it uses to walk. Used* to walk, since it was dead.
When the waiter came back with G's 3rd-time-lucky meal, I showed him the caterpillar and he took the plate away. A little while later a rather effeminate manager came to apologise and explained that they get the greens fresh off the farm (evidently!) and they don't use pesticide (evidently too!) but they do wash it all first (not so evident).
"I'll take it off your bill" sure but not even an offer of a free coffee or anything.
Shmuck has Bean and Gone, not to return.
Saturday afternoon trip to Cavendish. Basically to window shop and get inspiration for Christmas presents. Managed to sort out Mom's and my sis's gifts - YAY :D 2 down!!
Walked around for quite a while then decided to get some lunch. The place we wanted to go to was packed and there was quite a queue outside so it'd have taken us about an hour or so to actually get seated. So we went to the same place we went last time, the place I got moldy toast from. We thought "it can't be bad EVERY time, can it?"
We were seated immediately, the waiter was there straight away and we first ordered our drinks (caramel hot shot mmmmmmmmmm). When the drinks arrived we ordered our meals.
G's and my meals arrived, but his was wrong. They'd given him the half-portion of something similar to what he had ordered. My meal was fine but I waited for his meal to be sorted before starting - we were chatting about stuff anyway. They promptly brought his meal, which was STILL wrong - they'd brought the FULL portion of the wrong thing. G called the waiter back and asked him for a menu, so that he could show him what exactly it was that he'd ordered. A more senior waiter came to ask what was wrong so G showed him on the menu what he'd ordered and well it was more than obvious that what was on the plate was not what G was pointing at.
So anyway, his plate was taken away and I started on my food. Had a forkful, was chatting to G about how terrible it was that they mixed up his food, and was cutting a second forkful when I noticed something odd in my food. Scooped it out with my knife, spread it out on the side of the plate and was AMAZED to find it was a caterpillar. Unmistakeably a caterpillar. It had all 6 stumpy little legs as well as that strange foot thing on its tail that it uses to walk. Used* to walk, since it was dead.
When the waiter came back with G's 3rd-time-lucky meal, I showed him the caterpillar and he took the plate away. A little while later a rather effeminate manager came to apologise and explained that they get the greens fresh off the farm (evidently!) and they don't use pesticide (evidently too!) but they do wash it all first (not so evident).
"I'll take it off your bill" sure but not even an offer of a free coffee or anything.
Shmuck has Bean and Gone, not to return.
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