76 Trombones

Seventy six trombones led the big parade

With a hundred and ten cornets close at hand.

They were followed by rows and rows of the finest virtuosos,

the cream of ev'ry famous band.

Seventy six trombones caught the morning sun,

With a hundred and ten cornets right behind.

There were more than a thousand reeds springing up like weeds,

there were horns of ev'ry shape and kind.

There were copper bottom tympani in horse platoons,

thundering, thundering, all along the way.

Double bell euphoniums and big bassoons,

each bassoon having his big fat say.

There were fifty mounted cannon in the battery,

Thundering, thundering, louder than before.

Clarinets of ev'ry size and trumpeters who'd improvise

a full octave higher than the score.

Seventy six trombones led the big parade,

when the order to march rang out loud and clear.

Starting off with a big bang bong on a Chinese gong,

by a big bang bonger at the rear.

Seventy six trombones hit the counter point,

while a hundred and ten cornets played the air.

Then I modestly took my place as the one and only bass,

and I oompahed up and down the square.

This used to be one of Dad's favourite ditties to whistle or hum.  I never knew there was more than 1 line of lyrics!  Another of his favourites was Henrietta's Wedding:

We've been invited to Henrietta's wedding,
Though she can't tell us when it will be.
We hear, the tears that her mother is shedding,
Are because of the old lady's glee.
When will it be?

When will it be, when will it be? (2x)
We've been invited to Henrietta's wedding
Though she can't tell when it will be.

We've been invited to Henrietta's wedding,
No one knows who her husband will be.
They say she's started to buy all of the bedding,
But the husband's a deep mystery.
Who can it be?

Who can it be, who can it be? (2x)
Though we're invited to Henrietta's wedding
No one knows who her husband will be.

We've been invited to Henrietta's wedding,
And we want to know where it will be.
We wonder which way to go to the wedding
And, between you and me, so does she.
Where will it be?

Where will it be? Where will it be? (2x)
We wonder which wway to go to the wedding,
And between you and me, so does she.

Interestingly, here's a quote (taken from mudcat.org) from one of the co-composers:

"There used to be a Zulu tune of about 8 bars about the coming celebration of Henrietta's wedding- an event that always remained in the future. My theory is that some man at some time told his wife he had spent his money on a present for Henriettta's wedding, and, when this proved to be a myth, he became the laughing stock of the town... then the country... and quite logically, a folk ditty ensued. Upon that fragmant, this published song is based."