Dear X

Hi X

 

I wish we could be like normal people... sharing a relationship like normal people.

 

I wish we could hang out, and chat about things, spend time with each other, sharing experiences and growing together.

 

I wish our relationship wasn't one-sided despite a desperate need for it to be two-way.

 

I wish it wasn't all about offloading... just pouring out of endless, unsolveable problems, which I have tried making suggestions about...

 

An endless cycle of how she treats you, because you LET her treat you like that.  You always have.  She's always been like that, it's not my doing, it has nothing to do with me.  It has never had anything to do with me... my whole life, I've sat to the side and been excluded from it... I've wished she would stop, that you'd stop her, but you never did.  You still don't.  And now you can't.

 

It shouldn't have anything to do with you and me, our relationship, but somehow it always does.  It's always poured all over me:  the misery and complaints, partnered with a clawing need for comfort which I can't give.  It's the kind of comfort that one can only get from oneself... and yet you can't... and I wonder, now, whether you ever could.

 

I am only able to show you that I care by spending time with you and doing things with you... but I can't.  I can't share with you parts of my life - yes, I actually do have a life.  A real, grown-up life, with its own problems and trials, but also with its own joys and fun.  But you aren't really part of it.  I could try invite you in, except... it's like we're in two rooms separated by a long passage, and my door is open, but yours isn't.

 

Sometimes, I really could do with your care, just a small part of you, just sometimes.  Sometimes, significant things happen, which we should, I guess, share.  Something's coming up, soon, and I really could do with your support.  Scratch that, I really could do with just being able to talk to you about it.  But I can't.  I guess I should get used to that.  I don't see what else I can do.

Progress

I cleaned the fishtank today, it was a week overdue, but now it looks stunning again.

I'm scanning now, after doing the fishtank, which I did only after lazing away most of the afternoon, soaking up the sunrays. Beautiful day, today.

Yesterday was another stunning day - we met up with G's parents for breakfast, then came home. I'd been wanting to take a drive around our neighbourhood for a while now, ever since getting the old (1960s to 1970s) letters to dad, because they have the addresses that Grandma and Grandpa used to live at. They weren't far from where we are. First one we went to wasn't in a very bad area at all... up on a hillside, but the houses are mostly redone/upgraded and I didn't see any with the name that they used to call their house. I don't have a house number either, so no luck there. We went on down into the area below this, which is quite 'scaly' i.e. quite grubby, not very pleasant and not somewhere I'd care to be stuck in with a broken car. Luckily we weren't, but again couldn't find anything. The closest 'fit' we could find was Walmer Square, but the place we were looking for was Walmer Mansions. Maybe the same place, or somewhere that's been since demolished.

The last place we went to... is still there. The house number is there, it doesn't look like a VERY modern house, so probably wasn't refurbished recently, and might well be the house they stayed in during the early 1960s. I took photos from the car. I don't know how fond of that place they were, they seemed far more fond of the 1st house we tried to find.

All in all, it was a day tinged with history. I just wish Dad was around to tell him about it. Or to take him with us... to ask him about the places. To ask him about a lot of things.

I've really enjoyed scanning the photos from my Aunt, there are so many photos of my mom as a kid, and Gran and Grampa at most ages. One thing I want to do, before we move to Aus, is go to gran and grampa's grave, pay my respects. I have never been to their grave, when Grampa died I was 'too young' and when Gran died, her burial was so rushed (by "uncle" - I won't go into detail right now) that I don't think any of the rest of us got to attend the funeral! I would like to take a photo, for a reference and reminder, because I won't have been there many times to remember it, and also it would be a sort of final photo of them.

Not much other news, for now. Waiting for ACS to do their thing. Work... bleh. I have 95 working days this year.

I will blog again, when I think of news!!

96 and counting

Ok this is still dull.  I wake up each morning feeling completely and utterly groundhogday-ish... yet ANOTHER work day of the same stuff, repeated.  This morning I really didn't want to get out of bed as it was raining like mad!

What's crazy is that it's nearly August.  I guess wishing away the time does actually work, because it's past the middlepoint of the year.  2009 has, so far, been the speediest year ever.

ACS sent G a notification mail with his appeal's reference number, so we can track its progress.  At the moment it's "to be allocated" (yay we've restarted the whole process!!), but hopefully it'll take quicker as it's an appeal.

It's so weird to me how people on forums are so emo.  I don't know if emo is the right word but OH MAN people get so touchy.  No, I didn't piss anyone off, I was a bystander.  One of the forums I frequent to pick up information on the SA-Aus move had a meltdown of sorts.  3 of the 'senior' members (one was the forum creator) had a bit of a tizz, and the only really active topic (190+ pages) on the forum was closed.  So it basically means that forum is closed as none of the other topics were alive.  But it's so silly - someone 'upstages' someone else, or someone edits their own post, and people get butthurt.

Anyway, the other forum I frequent is alive and well and everyone's more chilled there!!  And, I'm getting the impression that DIAC are really racing through the visa applications, because they're apparently taking +- 5 months to assign case officers.  Just reading the forum members' timeline and an 'international' spreadsheet of information from lots of applicants gives me such a boost.  5 months to get a case officer!  Usually doesn't take long to get the actual visa after you get a case officer, so if we are lucky and can apply in September, we may well have a case officer by March and who knows, maybe a visa before July?  That would seriously rule!!

Ok enough VISA FRICKIN' stuff now.

And enough PHOTOS STUFF now.

I have to remark that ever since the neighbour's brat has learnt how to speak, the TANTRUMS AND SCREAMING have lessened.  Now I guess he can actually EXPRESS what he wants and doesn't have to bash things and wail.  He's still a brat though and they're still bloody annoying (and stinky), but at least we don't have to listen to the Saga of Igor Bashing The Walls every day.  Yay!!!!!

Thank heavens for a motorplan.  The car repairs 'cost' R8000.  To replace a door lock (which I guess contains the central locking system) and the front brakes.  Jeeeeeeeeeeeeepers!!

Tues night we watched Bolt which was VERY funny!!!  A really entertaining, funny movie - Rhino is a legend!  We've hired Evan Almighty and HP4 to watch tonight and Friday evening.

It seems more and more certain that we will live in Brisbane.  Just judging from what others say, everything points to Brisbane.  Sydney is wonderful, but apparently extremely expensive.  Melbourne apparently has cruddy weather, Cairns is HOT AND HUMID, Perth is just too far from everything for me to really like, Adelaide is cooler, whereas Brisbane is cheap, not TOO humid, doesn't have cruddy weather and not far from everything (a 1.5hr plane trip to Sydney, which is great cos we can go on holiday anytime! :D)  Oh and we know people who are in Brisbane (as well as another friend who is going to be moving to Brisbane soon - he's already got his visa but is in no actual hurry to move yet).  Oh and I know it's not a big issue, but Queensland doesn't have daylight savings. 

I really can't wait until we're settled there though, because there's so much I want to do which I can't do while we're in this 'transitional' state.  G was explaining music (theory) to me last night, and I got a serious urge to bang out sounds on a piano.  I don't know if a keyboard would suffice (a piano engages more senses, I've always thought) but we'll see - maybe we can get a piano over there, seeing as G can play and I'd love to mess about and at least find out whether I have an affinity to it or not (I've never had the opportunity to try).

I have 6 working months (most of December will be holidays if I'm able to put in leave, as the office closes for 2 weeks), 27 working weeks, 134 working days left!!!!!!!

Photo status

Last count, I had 5193 photos scanned.  That's quite a pile of photos.  It hardly feels like I've really scanned that many.

I still have 8 photo albums to scan, which probably have 400 or so photos between them.  After that, another 100 in a flip-through set of small albums, and a packet of photos from G... I'd say maybe another 300 or so.  I'm waiting to hear from my cousins if they have any photos for me to scan... and G's parents and Mom might still have some odds and ends that I can scan.  So all in all, I'll probably reach 6000+.  Not bad!

It's about time that this comes to a close.  I'm starting to desperately crave cross-stitch, and PSP games too.  I haven't really been 'relaxing' at home (because I start quite soon after we get home), and I haven't stitched in MONTHS.  It must be doing some damage!  Golden Ice is crying out to be finished - I really want to finish the scanning and then pay total attention to him.  Still not sure where he'll be 'stabled', I'll probably put Golden Ice in Heremia's place, Heremia in Warpony's place and Warpony up on the empty hook in the bedroom.  I'd love to put a nail in the wall by the bathroom door but I kinda feel that we shouldn't add nails all over the place since we'll more than likely only be staying for another year and they already have plenty of other nails up on the walls.

What's 'disturbing' is the fact that I'm getting this 'craving' for a new cross stitch: the new, untouched threads, unmarked chart, blank fabric, everything crisp and new.  But!  Golden Ice is 'new' enough for now as I've not touched it for so long.

I've discovered a brilliant blog:  STFU, Parents.  I don't know the URL offhand, but it's google-able.  It's a very amusing site, where people post stuff that they've had inflicted on them on Facebook, or Twitter, etc.  Like constant potty-training updates or tweets during labour right up to 5mins before the baby is born... seriously!  Oh and PICTURES from 'successful' potty training... yes, people POST THAT ON FACEBOOK!!!  I'm seriously considering taking a screenshot from an ex-schoolmate's album, in which she has posted a 'black&white, for the squeemies' picture of her... well, I can't really tell (do I want to know?) but I think it's a caesarian.  Wonderful pic to pop up on my newsfeed and, seeing how FB recycles stuff (ie, you see news from 3 weeks ago), repeatedly pop up for weeks after.

Our ACS appeal letter arrived on Friday.  We got the refund from Postnet on Saturday - no hassles.  Now we're just waiting to hear from ACS.  Not sure if they're going to update the application status on their website, maybe we won't know they've even looked at it until we finally get the 2nd letter.

It is now nearly lunchtime, and I have 99 working days left for this year. 137 days left in total.  For now I'm just thrilled that I have only 99 working days left THIS WHOLE YEAR!!!  I guess it's a kinda 'pre-goal', because once I've reached the last working day of this year, I will only have 38 working days left in total!!

Saturday night we had avo sushi.  We were at the supermarket and had got everything we needed, except for salmon.  We were planning on popping to the more expensive grocery store upstairs, when our train of thought was completely disrupted by the realisation that the person who was ahead of us in the queue had left her credit card in the card slot.  I ran out to find the lady (luckily she seemed quite in a daze and wasn't far but she also couldn't recall what till she'd just been at), and we completely forgot to get the salmon.  But it was delicious with just avo.  Last night we had sushi WITH salmon, YUMMMMM!!!!!  And we watched Harry Potter 2.  Harry Potter 3 is lined up for tonight, then we're going to hire the 4th and 5th ones...

I do believe that that is all news for now... such a newsupdate this blogging thing is! :P

Postnet update

The plot thickens.

 

I kept checking DHL's website throughout the morning and afternoon.  Nothing.  At about 16:30, I phoned DHL and the lady there told me that the letter had only just been collected, at 15:55.  (Note: collected, not dropped off)

 

I immediately phoned Postnet, asked to speak to the manager, and told him that we had a slight problem.

 

Apparently the cow there told ME that the manager himself would drop off the letter at DHL that very morning, but told her MANAGER that the letter wasn't urgent and could wait til the DHL guy came to fetch stuff that afternoon!

 

WTF?!  First of all, make a STUFF UP, then promise to make amends, AND THEN not even BOTHER to follow through with a promise?  Sorry, no.

 

So on Saturday we are going to go fetch our refund!  R470, thank you very much, and no repeat business from US ever again!

 

Thankfully DHL is performing impeccably and our letter is already in Sydney, most likely being delivered tomorrow morning (their time).  YEEEHAAA

Photos!

On Sunday we popped in at G's parents' place and dropped off their photos. I finished everything they'd given me, including two VERY sticky, old albums whose photos had become glued. There aren't any more pics from them for now, which is a great relief, because that means I'm able to focus completely on the OTHER photos I got:

We went to see Mom & sis too, and Aunt+Uncle+cousin were there too. Aunt gave me her set of photo albums, plus a tin of photos from Gran.

They are INCREDIBLE! Old photos, from when Mom and her were growing up, plus a whole stack of OLDER pics, of Gran and Grampa approximately my age, and some even younger. Incredible. And more photos of Mom as a youngster. We really don't have many in our albums, so this is a great gift.

These pics have a far more profound effect on me than I thought they would because there's actually quite little I know about Gran or Grampa... REALLY know about them, not knew from grandchild's perspective but as an adult now. Seeing the pics of Grampa as a 20 year old... he looks so different from how I'd imagined he'd look. Gran too, even more different. It's incredible. This scanning has become such a journey for me, more than I'd foreseen.

It's like meeting people for the first time after hearing so much about them, except what I experienced as a child is the 'hear-say' and the photos the meeting. It has been a great revelation seeing G's parents, and his grandparents, in old photos, but this is closer to home, obviously.

I am currently scanning sis's box of photos, but I can't wait to settle in and savour the other photos. My family's photos.

Postnet

Saturday morning we dragged our sleepy asses out of bed, in order to drop off our skills assessment appeal letter at Postnet, to be collected (by DHL) on Monday to be couriered to Aus.

 

Last night, I checked DHL's track and trace, and there was no record of our parcel.  Warning bell.

 

This morning, I try again - still nothing.  I phone DHL, nope, no record of our parcel.

 

Phone Postnet.  It apparently would have been collected at 3:30 pm on Monday, and would probably only show on DHL's system FROM midnight only.  Thanks, but it should show already, right?

 

I phoned DHL - apparently the only reason they WOULDN'T have the parcel is if a) it wasn't ready at the time of collection or b) Postnet was closed when they got there.  This wouldn't be the case as Postnet has a regular agreed collection-time with DHL and wouldn't be closed at the time the DHL guy would come.

 

I phoned Postnet, the guy said he'd trace our parcel and phone me back.  1 hour goes past, I try again.  Speak to the lady we dealt with on Saturday.

 

She offers to trace the parcel for me and call me back, I say 'the guy there said he would too but an hour has passed, can I hold rather?... can you just tell me whether it was collected - can you check in your books to see what time it was collected?'

 

Not such a difficult thing to do, right?  This, somehow, was: she took 10mins to look in the book, come back to the phone and tell me that she's 'asked everyone in the whole office and it was found in the drawer, so it wasn't fetched yesterday'.

 

Yes, that is right.  DHL came yesterday to fetch the courier parcels, and our one?  Got LEFT BEHIND IN POSTNET'S BLOODY DRAWER!

 

"The manager is going to drop it off at DHL's office now this morning, it should show up on DHL's tracking tonight".

 

Guess we won't BOTHER going to Postnet again...!  R470 to 'forget' our parcel!  WTF!!!

Update!

Right now I'm scanning photos - as I have been pretty much constantly whenever I'm home without other things that I must do.

I've scanned over 4500 photos now. I still have 2 photo albums to work through (the pictures have become almost glued to the pages so I won't be able to take them out), I'm waiting on a picture box from my sis, a tin of pics from my aunt, plus any other odds and ends my mom and G's parents can find. Oh and I have a photo album of my own, and G's got a small packet of photos too. So, I'm getting there. I can't wait til it's all finished, I REALLY REALLY want to start stitching again!

And now for an update on the ACS assessment. I phoned ACS at 1:30am our time, and spoke to a very helpful lady there. Long story short, we are appealing the assessment, with a SUPER-DETAILED work reference letter backing up G's request for acknowledgment of his C#/C++/C specialisation. The whole process should take between 5 and 7 weeks (taking the week for delivery to ACS into account, but excluding postage back to us)... and hopefully we'll be A for AWAY and able to apply for the visa.

That was fun...er... not

I checked the post office track and trace site this morning, and the letter was ready for collection. During lunch I walked down and fetched it, and opened it and read it (via msn) to G. It's ... essentially useless.

The code required by the Aus govt to know that G has a critical skills list skill ... isn't right. They have the code to say he has skills but not the little set of letters in brackets that follow the code to specify which he has.

So now we start again. Make an appeal, I guess, which requires us to fork out another (70% of the application fee) pile of cash.

Yay. 12+ weeks down the drain.

Whatever.

It's NEARLY HERE!!

I just phoned our post office helpline.  Held for flippin' ages listening to a LOOPED Sarah Brightman - Deliver Me.  FFS PLEASE not a LOOP!!!  On my 3rd try I was lucky and someone answered.

 

THE LETTER IS GOING TO BE DELIVERED THIS WEEK!!!!  It's not just already in the country, it's already in the CITY!  It's so nearly here AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!

 

So we should know ASAP (before Friday, hopefully!) what the result is, AND WE CAN APPLY ASAP TOO!!!!!!!

 

OMG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

 

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stet

"Stet" is such a smug word.

This is why I hate the word "stet":

ACS update

G and I (totally coincidentally) just simultaneously checked ACS, to find the status has changed from "with assessor" to "case finalised"!!!

 

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY  We should get the letter very soon now!!  Yay!!!!!!

Boy do I love my job

Arrghhh...

 

I tried to make changes, applied for jobs, but seeing as there (are now 151 and were at the time under 200) working days left, I thought I might stick it out here (and I didn't have any success with the applications I made).

 

It is going to be HARD.  If I manage.

 

What's got up my nose this time is the receptionist was just off sick yesterday.  Her cousin died or something and so she was 'sick' yesterday and didn't come to work.  And now she's taking FOUR days off to attend a funeral in Eastern Cape.  Ok, a day or two I can understand, for a CLOSE relative, but 4 days?  Ok maybe I'm being insensitive and stuff, but with my JOB of being BACKUP fucking receptionist, I'm pissed.  I don't think I took that many days combined when my own FATHER and then grandmother died, and I doubt I'd even get to take a day off to attend the funeral if one of my THREE (yes, only three, not 20) cousins died.

 

I hate this job.  I hate how it makes me hate people, hate things, it just makes me so hateful and... well... hardyhar, I hate it.  I know that you can apparently 'choose' how you feel about stuff, but this stupid bloody pathetic STAND IN, no *actual* job, job ... I dunno... it just pisses me off.  I don't have WORK of my OWN, so I get to have other people's stuff palmed off onto me.  If you get other people's shitty tasks palmed off onto you, you don't HAVE anything to be PROUD OF... nothing to sit back after doing and be satisfied knowing you have a JOB that you, just you, do.  It's just 'this is actually someone else's job but they're too busy/can't be bothered/don't feel like doing it because it's a shitty task, so I have to do it'.  My only 'job' is FILING YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

 

I guess this is an incoherent, overly ranty boring dull blogpost, as usual...

 

YAYYYYY  stupid pathetic excuse for a 'job'.

 

I've probably blogged before about visa news - the visa price has gone up and ACS is sending the letter soon and hopefully the visa won't take ages, etc etc and we're hoping to apply before end of July blablabla.

 

I know once we arrive in Aus, we'll have to start our whole life again... and things will be difficult and we'll have to 'vasbyt' for a while.  Probably will have to work straight away to afford stuff...

 

BUT OMG I'm so not going to be a STAND IN BLOODY RECEPTIONIST again.

 

For now, I need to keep working until we have definite progress with the visa, as we need the $.  I just hope, seriously hope, that there will be some sort of... I don't think the word is 'vindication' but some sort of payback for sitting through this.  Karmic credit... I dunno.  Just something that I can ENJOY after tolerating and enduring this.  Like post-marathon satisfied exhaustion.

News!!!!

There has been a change on the ACS status:  it is now 'with assessor' and we've been given a registered post tracking number!!  Apparently it means the letter has been posted off already - but we're going to wait until it arrives (to be sure we have the actual letter AND that it has a positive result) before we REALLY go mad with excitement.

 

THIS MEANS WE'LL BE APPLYING FOR THE VISA SOON!!!!!  HOPEFULLY BEFORE THE END OF JULY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

OMG so yay exciting WOW!!

 

So all we have to do is apply, submit all the relevant documents (we're going to do an e-application), pay the relevant visa fee, and wait.  We'll be told when to do the medicals and send through a police clearance certificate.  Ok, this all, of course, depends on the ACS RESULT... but I'm really really really optimistic now!

 

We might get the visa before MY BIRTHDAY!!  Or maybe even before I finish working here!!  So we might even be in Aus before the end of next year!!  We'll see.

 

The 'gamble' for us is when to apply for the police clearance certificates.  I think we should apply for them very soon after we actually apply for the visa, because it'll take about a month (at least) for them to do.  At the moment the Aus govt is priority-processing the visa class we're going to be applying for, so they might do ours very quickly, and would need the clearance certificates soon.  Once they are received by Aus govt, they're valid for 1 year (not the 6 months as stated on the certificate), and the entry-by-no-later-than date is (I think) the earlier of the 2 expiry dates between the medicals and the police clearance certificate. 

 

What's important though is getting the visa ASAP, because if push comes to shove, we can take a holiday (whenever NEEDed, but we can take it as a 1st anniversary holiday!!) and go to Aus to get the visas stamped in our passports.   It's not that important that we *move* straight away, but it isn't ideal not to as it's bit of a 'waste' to go there just for the visa.  BUT, we can maybe go to Aus to get the visa stamped in our passports, then return via Singapore with a week or more's stopover there for a holiday!  OR SOMETHING!  Not urgent to think about right now, more urgent is preparing to apply!

 

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

And a 1 and a 2 and a 1, 2, 3 EEEEEEEEEEEEEK

EEEEEEEEEEEEk!

 

I am so insanely bored at work today.  I have had work to do on and off, but for the most part I've been bored.  I've just been going through the pre-move checklist, which starts all the way back at 'decide which visa is best for you and your situation'.  Check!

 

All we still need in order to make the visa application is the ACS assessment!!  Apart from that we just have to fill in a character assessment document, and actually submit the visa application.

 

ACS is on track with the assessment, I hope.  Yesterday was 12 weeks since we submitted everything electronically, we still have to wait til the end of July til the 12 weeks since paper-submission is up.  I really hope that they don't take 6 months with this, else I might reach my wits' end!  It's really so exciting and actually submitting the VISA APPLICATION will be one MASSIVE step for us.  A concrete, definite step.  I know that we will wait a long time for the visa application to be processed, and will have to do other stuff in the meantime (like get medicals, etc), but that's at least... it'll be DONE, we'll have SUBMITTED it.  AND I fully understand that only once we actually GET the visa will the whole process actually START... the closing up shop and moving part. 

 

I'm probably reblogging the same thought over and over again (like a broken record), but it really is a massive, exciting thing for us.

 

This weekend we're getting new tyres for the car.  And we're going to put up 'for sale' ads for it too.  The sooner we can downgrade the better as we can settle a whole lot of things at once, which puts us in a better position to save in preparation for the move.  It will just be sad not to have the car as it really is a lovely, luxurious car.  I suppose the car we get will always be considered our 'interim' car and we won't feel very affectionate towards it.  The audi is *our* car... the next one will be the temporary car!

 

I am still very disappointed by the junk-blitz's non-happening, and the general implication it has.  I am trying to separate my emotional response to my realisations separate from my own behaviours and habits.  I don't want to knee-jerk adjust my own behaviour in an irrational bid to be 'non-cluttery' as it would catapult me straight over to the complete opposite end of the scale and cause *me* problems.  Mom's problem is not mine - what I have to deal with is my feelings about her problem.  I don't have to deal with and sort out her problem.  I can only try help her realise that she has a problem and support her (if, not when) she decides to deal with it.

 

156 working days left.  I'm so bored and restless that I am starting to wish that I could be allowed to work half-day instead.  That way they have me employed and working here and I still get to do stuff at home.  But that's a wishful thinking scenario if there ever was one!

 

Today's weather has been rather miserable, raining like mad and then the sun peeps out for a second and a half before clouding over and repeating the cycle.

 

This evening I am going to carry on scanning photos.  I took a break from photos to scan a few letters, but it takes longer than I thought it would so I've decided they can wait until the photos are done.  G's dad uncovered a whole drawer full of photo folders, so I may well have a whole consignment more to do.  I know I've taken on a colossal task, but I reckon I can beat it.  I've scanned over 2000 photos.  I'd say it's an accomplishment.  I'm over halfway through the 1st of the 3 boxes, and the 2nd box really doesn't have that much in it.  The 3rd box, however, would probably take a longer time than the first 2 put together!

 

Anyway, enough about SCANNING.  It is 'boring' (timeconsuming) but the knowledge that I will be finished with it and can go back to reading and stitching and doing other things (with no rush or deadline!) is a great comfort.  It's not as if it's a hobby I've taken up, it's just a task I've set myself.

 

It is now 3pm, 2hrs to go til HOMETIME!  And Monday, I believe, is PAYDAY!!!!

My News

Reminiscent of being in primary school, I am going to write about my news today.

I went to the dentist at 8:00 this morning, to have a filling.  I was under the impression it was just one, but it was in fact 2.  And they were more serious than my dentist had let on - this dentist (my dentist's colleague apparently whose forte it is to do white-fillings) said that he'd had to drill rather deep.  Deep enough to be right near the nerves.  If the nerves have been disturbed, they will give trouble - get inflamed, start to die, etc - and I will have to go for root canal.  OMG please no.

 

Please, just no.

 

It took close on 5 hours for the local anaesthetic to wear off completely.

 

In other news:  the car went for a scheduled service this morning.  We should have a happy car this afternoon, and I'm hoping they even give it a valet.  Kudos to Audi for pointing out that we need new tyres - apparently car service centres do not usually remark on (or even look at) the condition of the tyres as it is not within their 'jurisdiction'.  Basically it's not their responsibility to check stuff like wiperblade and tyre condition as it is your duty to check and maintain those things, not theirs.  But still, a tipped hat to Audi for going the extra 'mile' here.

 

One thing I salvaged out of the mess that is the garage at Mom's is an A4 envelope of letters.  Addressed to Dad, from his Dad, brother and sister.  Dated circa 1960.  Dad was in his late 30s/40s at that stage.  Grandpa was in his 60/70s.  I never met Grandpa+Grandma, and it has evoked such a melancholia in me, reading the letters (and not seeing Dad's reply but knowing his usual manner/writing style), learning about where they lived at that stage (not far at all from where G and I are staying - we'd be able to visit them often if they still lived there), and what their life was like.  They're not DETAILED letters, like 'this is what we eat and this is how we dress' etc, it's more day-to-day.  His sister being glad that they have moved closer to the seaside, yet the traintrip to work would require her getting up early and she'd 'just have to get used to it'.  Watching the fire on the hillside from their back porch.  Things like that.

 

It is also so evident just how catholic they were.  Loads of mentions of Father so and so, as they were evidently like family friends.  Mentions of my uncle, who was living far from them, moving back closer and 'coming back to the ways' of the church.  It makes me wonder, now, well it makes me wonder a lot, but particularly about Dad's religious views when we were small, and how they changed as he got older.  I wonder what made him rethink.  I'm of the impression that he read and learned a lot about science, and it clashed with the catholic (and indeed christian) view that the church and bible are to go unquestioned as fact and that anything found in science that contradicts it must just be ignored/denied.

 

So now I'm having a very thoughtful time, and wish that Dad was around for me to ask him things.  I would love to tell him where we are living now, and would enjoy looking at Google earth and trying to find his and his parents' homes nearby.  I wish I could see more photos of Grandpa+Grandma, to learn more about them.

 

I haven't finished reading (or scanning) all the letters, so maybe I'll learn more as I go through them all.

Freezing cold

Ok not that disastrous, but it's pretty cold here (for this part of the world at least!).  I think it's 12C or something.  Inside this building it's probably more like 3C.

This weekend was a letdown.  Not that I didn't enjoy what we did instead, but for all intents and purposes (those being to junkblitz) it was a no-show.  Mom hasn't dealt with the stuff we blitzed last time.  That was at the end of April.  1.5 months ago.  So we couldn't actually carry on, because we had made no progress and there was no space to unpack things.  I wonder if anything actually was taken away to the charity-organisation, as planned.  A whole stack of childrens' books and toys were packed into Mom's car, to be dropped off the next day, but now I'm wondering whether she didn't just unpack them and stack them somewhere (in the outside loo or shed perhaps?) as well.

It's just so... defeating.  This whole problem is worse than I'd allowed myself to acknowledge (I did know there was a problem but I was HOPING beyond hope that it wouldn't be like this).  My ex-room is now packed full of stuff, not even identifiable stuff.  It's just stuff, clutter.  There are old picture frames, ah shit I don't even want to try LIST all the stuff in there.  It's really hopeless.  It's just dreadful.

I wish that there was a simple solution, like buying her a small house, with no pool/big lawn/other troublesome 'add-ons' (because she claims to be 'busy' all the time, sorting out those things, and can't get around to sorting out the junk), but that would actually not help.  There's so much junk in the house that she wouldn't be able to move, and even if she were to get rid of everything non-vital, she'd just accumulate more.  And if you ask her about individual things, she has an answer (justification) ready.  They are 'valid' reasons, or they make SOME vague sense, but they are just so pointless that you are baffled as to why anyone would waste their energy even THINKING about doing something like that, nevermind actually DOING it.  Example:  collecting 2l ice-cream tub lids, to cut off the rims and keep the lid panel.  I ask her what on earth it's for and she points to ONE plant, in the WHOLE massive garden, that has these lids stuck into the soil around it, and says "they prevent the water from running off the soil away from the plant".  I just... it's just so depressing.

I wonder now, whether there's been 30 years of this 'accumulation' habit... I guess in the 'bigger' items (like the 30+ year old floor polisher, cot and crib), they've just never got rid of them, but now recently (not sure when it started, when Dad was sick?  After he died?), it's other things, like the ice-cream lids.  And not throwing away old things like aerosol-cream tins, which expired LAST YEAR.  Yes, I have said to her each and every time that they are OLD, and they are MOST LIKELY OFF AND GROSS (not to mention dangerous now?), and she just keeps replying 'no, I can still use the leftovers in something'.  Or has it always been like this?

I know this is a publicly viewable blog and anyone reading it can judge her and get a bad impression of her, but there are such complicated issues behind it that I don't even know about.  So reserve your judgement for the celebs and gossip-columns.  I'm blogging to put my thoughts in order and sort of exorcise them.

My sis ended up leaving very soon after we got there, because Mom started going on about how she does nothing to help (how can a person keep helping in conditions like that? but on the flipside I don't belive sis is very generous with her consideration + assistance), and we came home very soon after that too.  We ended up cleaning our own place and enjoying the quiet long weekend.  G worked on Monday, I did not.  I played Diablo 2 last night.  I'm at the end of Act 3, trying to kill Mephisto.

We are still waiting for the ACS result.

Slow

I have 162 working days left.  Yes, I'm staying with this countdown.

 

It's boring, this place is up to sh* but anyway.  I will be a persistent little train-driver (or try to be) and stick it out til the light at the end of the tunnel arrives!

 

ACS is taking their time - it's been 10 weeks since the online application, and just over 4 weeks since they got the paper application documents.  They take 12 weeks to do the assessment.  EERGH I'm so hoping they hurry up and finish it asap :D

 

Soon we should apply for our police clearance certificates, it'll take about a month to do... I've probably blogged about it in detail already but anyway.  It'll be one thing off our list!

 

We went to the dentist yesterday morning, for the usual check-up+clean... the dentist is uber-happy with my teeth except for 1.5 things... he sees on the xrays a potential cavity on one tooth and a potential filling-leak (and potential further degeneration of underlying tooth) on another tooth.  BUMMER!  So I'm going for a filling next Thursday - he says the already-filled tooth isn't as big a worry and is less urgent (not that the potential cavity-tooth is drastically urgent either).  Urgh... and I thought I was over and done with fillings etc, having had a few when I was small.

I'm busy scanning now.  It's rather boring.  I've started clearing out the other mailbox (stuff downloaded to the pc)... it's dull.  I don't feel like it now so I'm blogging.  Work has been DEATHLY boring: filing, folding drawings, more drawings, more filing.  162...it keeps me going to think that.

This weekend (I can't believe it is already upon us!) we're having the 2nd junkblitz.  Not sure what we'll tackle this time, hopefully the garage roof/rafters.  We'll see - it is only 3 days: Tuesday is a public holiday and I have taken Monday off, but G is working, so I can't junkblitz that day.  I guess it's a good thing cos I have to rest ONE day at least (ok more like:  I have to clean the fishtank this weekend so that's when I'll do it).

Ag, anyway, not much else is news.  It's not even very late, yet I want to go to bed.  Dude's all slouched tired too.

Hurl a lurl

Googling that won't bring you up any results in particular, other than hurling a url.

... I've been crying with laughter about it for a few minutes now... man I haven't had such an absurd laugh for a long time. I'm tired, it's late, I have a blogged dose (yay a cold), so I'm probably not thinking right. Anyway I thought it was funny.

It's quite an improvement on my day, really... apparently the assholes are not going to allow us to use earphones (of any sort - linked to the pc or ipod or walkman or radio) at the office. The one boss had a complete shitting-out session with colleagues who are working on a particular set of jobs that he oversees, and apparently the work quality is shit and we're all shit and everything's shit (his wife probably gave him a talking to the previous day or something, to put him in such a shit mood), so we're not allowed to listen to music. And also not allowed to use the work mail for personal stuff, nor check our personal mail during work hours, or abuse the phone (ie make personal calls), etc. So basically the asshole read a few pages of MANAGING FOR DUMMIES. So we should all become drones and die.

So my hopes of a simple countdown, given hope by the light at the end of the tunnel, have been dashed. I don't see myself lasting there WITHOUT MUSIC for another 9 fucking months. Hell, there is no way I'm going to be sitting folding drawings and doing shit filing without music... assholes.

So I've resumed my jobsearch. I dunno if I'll have any luck, I don't really care I'm just (again) ticked off with these pricks.

If they would ever find my blog - maybe they could read it and understand the world from a NOT-ONE-OF-THE-CLUB person's point of view. Why not just bloodywell block the internet? Or block sites like Facebook/youtube/etc? Why not CHECK all the PHONE RECORDS and get everyone to account for each one? Why just shit on everyone generally, and demean them and dispirit them more than they already are?

Whatever, like tossers like that would ever care anyway - it's all about their profit, their faux-'company cars', their comfort and happiness when the rest of us may as well sit in cardboard boxes and just type like monkeys.

ANWAY... enough VENOM (not even a fraction of what I feel)... for tonight. My head feels like crap and joy oh joy I'M RECEPTIONIST TOMORROW FOR THE WHOLE DAY. God I love my job.

Weekend wheeee

Thursday or Friday I started to get a scratchy throat. It behaved
itself until Sunday evening when it developed into a cold, so I'm now
sitting at work with a stuffy lopsided-feeling head. Yay.

Thankfully I wasn't too sick to go see Wayne Brady on Sunday!
Woweeee... it was a great show! That man has serious talent!

Because of my stuffy head, I can't really think of much to type into
this blogpost. I'm bored now, with nothing to do right now.

I have 169 working days left til end of Feb 2010.

Hopefully this evening I will be awake enough to play Diablo at least
a little bit.

Seeing as the visa processing time has been changing so much, we're
going to apply for the police clearance certificates this month. They
are valid for 6 months. If ACS gives the result in July, we will be
able to apply for the visa in July/August, which still leaves the
police clearance cert with 5 or so months' validity. Judging by the
processing times lately, they might assign us a case officer within
the 6 months, and even if they don't, we can apply (and pay the fee
again) for the police to send us another police clearance certificate
from the same application form, as they can do that if you ask within
6 months of first application. So, we would have 1 year's worth of
police clearance certificate! It's hardly expensive (R59), and I
reckon it's worth it having it on hand in case we get a case officer
very soon after applying for the visa. Rather be prepared! That
would just leave us with the medicals to do, which we HAVE to wait to
do because the case officer will tell us when to do them.

All in all, things seem rather straightforward.

Anyway - this is all for now, I have an email to type up and something
else to do now.