I'm getting desperate now... every day makes it worse.
Now I have to take ALL hbbm's calls, and take messages/put them through if they're important or if it's a call he's been expecting. He explained it this morning, to the receptionist and me... and then he goes upstairs and she mutters "hear that H, all his calls" so snidely. I really am starting to despise her now. But thankfully I'm not the only person she rubs up the wrong way.
I hate this... it's so bloody petty. I hate working like this, with such pettiness... I don't want to sit despising (her), or resenting people, or hating my job. I don't like it... I just want to work, and not have to deal with this fool. Idiot. I despise the way she doesn't quite GET the fact that since she's the receptionist/switchboard person, she CAN'T just go dawdling around the office to speak to people/give them things. Such silly things too, that she could ask them when they next come past.
I may be doing switchboard/reception next week. The whole week. The boss said they'd be thinking about getting someone else in (a temp I guess). Who knows? I'm really looking forward to THAT...!!!
Argh, I hate even just THINKING about it, nevermind BLOGGING about this shit. I hate the fact that it sits in my mind and bugs me ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT... and that I talk about it to G and I feel bad cos I feel like I'm a whining whinging bitchy hag. This job is making me into a moaning minnie and I hate that too.
I so desperately want to leave and just regain myself... revive myself. I can't learn new things in this state of mind. I want to break free of this junk, leave it behind, clear my mind, refresh and revive myself and then take on a new challenge... but I can't. I can't just leave, I need the income... I have no savings, thanks to previously being fucked over. I'm still paying dearly for that. If I wasn't saddled with that, and I had savings, I'd be able to go 'fuck this for a lark' and leave, and study. And live.
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