Thoughtful...

Seems I'm most likely to blog when I am thinking a lot. I guess that is what blogs are about hey?

Was going through my cellphone phonebook, and saw someone's name in it. It's strange how a person can embody the concept of 'could have been'. We could have been great friends, we seemed to get on very well, or at least that's what I thought. She was just 'biding her time', "letting" me keep her company because it (to her) must have seemed to make me happy, regardless of whether she actually enjoyed it. That knowledge somehow completely nulls any enjoyment I actually got from her company.

Ok the stuff above I typed a while ago, but saved it as a draft.

Last night the asshole neighbours were playing music very loudly. I couldn't sleep. At 1:30am I logged onto the computer, downloaded antivirus and antispyware updates and ran those. I went to the lounge and tried to sleep on the couch at about 3am. I managed to doze off til about 4am. The lounge is the only place where their music doesn't penetrate as much, cos their front door/lounge is right by our bedroom window, and the kitchen/computer room gets the noise coming through their rooms through our kitchen. Earlier I'd gone outside enraged and went around to see where the noise was coming from and the fuckers had their lights off and their door WIDE OPEN so that the whole fucking city could enjoy their music. After sleeping on the couch for a while, I went back to bed but they were still playing music and talking very loudly. I fell asleep (passed out) at 4:30, and here I am at work now half-dead at 11am after getting up at 7. Thank you, FUCKERS, for 2,5 hours of sleep!!!!!!!!!!

I just phoned the rental agency, spoke to the woman there. She said she'd get hold of them. I also told her about the lovely couple upstairs who get drunk and then argue and fight and throw things around.

FUCK YOU ALL! BASTARDS!!! 4:30 in the morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like I'm an undead. I'm so irritated already this week, this just TOPS IT OFF!!

Hbbm's gone out for meetings and hopefully to enjoy some golf, if the weather holds. Hold thumbs that the weather holds, I don't feel up for much work today. This morning I was having my breakfast oats and coffee at my desk, so he calls me to type up an email for him, IN THE MIDDLE of my eating. He KNOWS I was eating, he even commented on the fact that it looked like kid's/baby's cereal (mush). But it doesn't matter, the email can't WAIT 3minutes!

I'm so tired of this place. Just when I thought things were going to be good and I'd have something worthwhile to do, it gets snatched away from me. I thought I was hbbm's PA, and I asked the accountant to confirm it (cos the job title is printed on my payslip), and she informed me that the bosses decided my job title is 'admin assistant'. What the fuck is an admin assistant???? Dogsbody? That's like even less of a job title than receptionist!!! How the hell will that look on my CV? "I have 4.5 years experience as a receptionist and x years as a ... well... um... I did PA duties but officially I was admin assistant..." Gosh, it's not allowed that someone actually feels proud and motivated in their job? "Heavens no! I mean, imagine, her actually liking her work? No, that's not on, by jove, she'll get a big head and think she's important and meaningful and appreciated *gasp*. Only us head honchos can get job satisfaction, you know. Along with our fat pay! Hehehe, go us!!!"

So anyway, I'm admin assistant, doing PA duties. It's so petty. I hate it. Just let me do work, and acknowledge it and allow me headroom to ENJOY IT and grow into it and feel motivated. To quote a graffiti: *fuckshitup!*

What is news. I miss my budgie. My fish (the congo tetras) are randy and lay eggs all the time.

I feel like a zombie. I want to curl up in bed and just sleep. It's cold and rainy too, so that is making me want to cuddle up too.

*yaaaaaaaaaaawnnnnnnnnnnnnns*